At what age would you dicuss homosexuality with your children? (page 3)

Save My Soul

There was a homosexual parent at my son's school and the child was very effemiate. Therefore, in 1st grade we had the talk with our 6 YO. It was mild, but we told him in general terms about unnatural things some bad people do. I know it is not PC, but I think a (religious) father's nightmare is for his child to be gay. This is not meant to be offensive, just my perspective and personal feelings.

llbh

Momz your sister has been through a lot, widowed discovering her sexuality and da. that is quite is an amount of soul searching and living

regards llbh

momzcrazy

Thank you. I think if anyone should be happy it's her. She cared for her husband more tenderly than I have ever seen a person do it.

momz

Gretchen956

In my experience it can be done without going into details at a young age. We told our niece that some men loved women and some men loved men, and the same was true for women, some women love men and some love women. It isn't right or wrong, it's just different.

Later in school she picked up the remarks and the jokes and the intolerance in a more conservative community and it really bothered her to hear the hateful things people said about gays and then to have two aunts she loved dearly be gay and not be at all what they joked about. We just talked her through it, she knew better because she had the reality, they had the stereotypes without having any knowledge.

As for going into details about gay sex, why in the world would you do that? I have no idea why you would think this was necessary in any way.

Every kid is different, and you really need to have a relationship with them where you can talk freely and candidly already long established way before this or other difficult subjects come up.

Sherry

Big Tex

So i began thinking what age would you discuss these things? He is not gay as far as i can see. but i think it is important for to understand differing lifestyles

Answer their questions, however old they are. Answer them honestly, but simply.

For example, our kids naturally asked asked where babies came from. This would have been when they were 2-3. Our answer was honest, "From the Mommy's tummy.", but simple. That's all they wanted to know. They didn't want to know about sex, or sperm meeting the egg, etc.

It is the same with same-sex relationships. Answer their questions honestly and simply without elaborating or long explanations. Keep the answer and your tone pleasant and matter-of-fact, as if you were discussing anything else. This is important as this is body language that tells the child: "it's okay to ask this question, I'm not afraid to answer it and if you want to know more -- you can."

I cannot remember the exact age my son first asked me about this subject, I want to say around 8 or 9 years old, but my answer was that some boys like boys and some girls like girls and there's nothing wrong with it. It's just different. He processed that for a couple of seconds and then moved on to the latest game or whatever else was on his mind (I really don't remember!).

As he's wanted to know more, I've explained more. Again, he's in control, not me. I want him to know as much, or as little, as he's ready for. I watch him for cues and act accordingly.

Hope this helps.

Chris

llbh

Hi Grtechen . Sorry i did not respond sooner to you - time difference. it is now morning here.

I do not want to discuss the details of sex with my 11y unless he asks. I do though want to teach him awareness and tolerance of people with differing life stiles.. He was reading the discussion began by Dansk about his lesbian daughter Faundy and that prompted this thread

I never discussed the subject of homosexuality with my older son as i was still in the wts. Now having left i was quite moved by younger son's tolerance and openness.

My JW wife and daughter would as you know never discuss this except in negative terms.

HEY Chris BIG TEX, yeah I do let him let him know what he wants to know, but as I have said i would like at least a awareness on his part.

regards llbh

oldflame

Today in this age in time we don't have to say anything, It's out in the open in the public. Television and on the streets. Now when the child ask is when you should talk about it I think. I have a tenant who just learned his son was gay and it hit him pretty damn hard. He was not sure how to handle it because he felt that he did not teach him to be that way. I told it being gay is not from the way he was taught or the morals that he was raised on, that it was a decission that the young man took on his own. I told him that he still has to love his son.

So I think waiting until the child ask otherwise why bring it up ?

PoppyR

I think there have been some great comments posted here!

As mother to two teenage boys in UK I too have noticed they use the word 'GAY' a lot as an insult, "you're gay", "that top is gay", "going to the meeting is gay"..

I think to a degree it was picking it up from other kids, not really understanding what it means. But at 11, I'm sure your son has some idea, I think as has been said the important thing is to ensure he knows you'll love him regardless of his choices. And I haven't discussed the ins and outs (excuse pun!) with my boys, but I have said that science shows most Gay people can no more choose to be straight than you can choose your own sex, it's just the way the brain works.

I think kids brought up in the WT can be more judgemental than most, so I am hopefully undoing some of that!

Poppy

Dansk

My children have always known that they can discuss literally anything with me and that I'll always be there to listen and, should they require/ask for it, give advice. So, whatever age they ask, I'll answer.

Ian

scotsman

The thread's intriguing. I don't think our friends have had to discuss homosexuality with their kids yet, but the kids we see most often (ranging from 4-8 years old) know that we are a couple and that we love each other like their parents do and they don't seem baffled or confused. One of them is very keen for us to get married.

My advice is for you all to get some gay friends, even Save My Soul.

At what age would you dicuss homosexuality with your children?

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