Did being a JW make you overly judgemental?

by Frequent_Fader_Miles 36 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Abandoned

  Did being a JW make you overly judgemental?

  Yes it did. It's one of the worst things they ever did to me. But, I'm happy to say, that I've had a lot of success tossing out the crap that they put in...
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  MissingLink

  Never did the judging thing. I saw how ugly it was in other people since I was a kid. One reason I never really fit in. I couldn't elevate myself above others. I did go along with the DFing though.
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  Frequent_Fader_Miles

  I looked forward to the day when Jehovah would butcher and burn everyone at armageddon, and I wanted to be outdoors when it happened so I could watch and hear their screams of agony, and laugh at them.

  Man, that's harsh!
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  OnTheWayOut

  The rank and file who didn't make nearly all their meetings were materialistic
  or selfish. The pioneers that didn't try to make up for being behind were
  just in it for the glory. The men not reaching out for privileges were "weak."
  The wives who didn't know their place were lacking humility. The parents
  who didn't study with the kids were needing adjustments.

  If you were retired, you should have been pioneering. If you were working
  part-time, you should have been averaging more than 20 hours in field service.
  If you worked full-time with overtime, you were greedy and needed to find
  your balance.

  If a sister's clothes were the least bit revealing or tight, she was (whatever
  the JW word is for) slutty. If a brother drove a sports car, he was immature.
  If a sister tried to tell the group where or how to cover territory, she was
  presumptious. Pioneers who easily got their hours, but never had
  studies were coasting.

  Long before I stopped being an elder, I discovered that I was judging all the
  brothers and sisters. The worldly people, I did it there too, but I didn't know
  them as well. I broke myself of it. Resigning as an elder, I had learned to
  never pre-judge anyone. I am much better now.
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  Gregor

  Of course. It's all part of the program. It can be subtle but is none the less true. Every thing from grooming to how often you raise your hand in the WT study. Little things like having your study book or magazine marked up with highlighter and margin notes are all good for extra points. I know that the publishers who picked up entire rolls of magazines still in the brown wrapper were regarded as the upper class. The whole enchilada is driven by peer pressure.The Org. knows this and reinforces it. On the one extreme is the loser who is DF'd and on the other end is the brother who is pioneering, "reaching out". "Where are you on that continuum? hmmmm?" "Examine yourself to see where you yourself are standing"

  No wonder the internet has such an impact. JW's know it is secret. Apparently they don't really believe that Jehovah is looking over their shoulder.
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  WTWizard

  Of course it did. In more aspects than one, at that. I judged the music I listened to too harshly. I would judge others based on the music they listened to, how often they made the boasting sessions, how aggressively they were reaching out for "privileges", if their field circus was sincere or they were wasting a lot of time, etc. If someone was missing meetings and had a reasonable excuse (frequent colds and flus among the children), I usually cut them slack. But, other than that, I was programmed to be excessively judgmental.

  And it was worse among worldly people. They were all deemed wicked because they would not fall for the scam. People wanted to celebrate Christmas, and I doubt that any of them were actually worshiping the sun. Once I even ruined a set of Christmas lights by rigging up one bulb in each circuit so it would not complete the circuit at work (and got a verbal warning and ordered to fix them) one year. Talk about judgmental!

  I find myself much more tolerant of people with different beliefs now. People can refrain from celebrating Christmas if they want. They can do Hanukkah or Kwanzaa instead of, or in addition to, Christmas if they please and it doesn't bother me a bit. I also don't care what, if any, church anyone else goes to. So long as they don't try to force me to go to a church I don't want to go to, I really don't care what church they go to or what they believe in. For that matter, I don't care how good their standing is within that church.
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  Rebirth

  Oh yeah. I actually realized recently how liberating it is to not have all the answers and to be responsible for my own actions and not worry about what others think or do. Honestly, I still find myself saying judgmental things, but it has definitely lessened. I also try really hard not to judge my husband for his views of me because I know that it isn't really him speaking. I know he loves me he is just falling into groupthink.
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  Frequent_Fader_Miles

  Once I even ruined a set of Christmas lights by rigging up one bulb in each circuit so it would not complete the circuit at work (and got a verbal warning and ordered to fix them) one year

  I'm almost certain you thought you were being a "warrior of Jah" when you did this deed ... oh Lord!
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  tijkmo

  who the hell are you to ask??
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  White Dove

  From a very early age, I was taught to hate the kids in the neighborhood because they were goats. I never took onto the hate, though. I liked them and associated with them every chance I got. I wanted to be with these Armageddon bound goats. I didn't want to die with them, however, just be with them while they were still around. I didn't understand how they could be so nice as goats but the kids at the hall could be so awful and double tongued as sheep. Never made good friends with sheep that stayed in. I've always made friends with the goat-minded sheep that left eventually. Yes, I was taught to divide all people along pasture animal lines and instantly knew who would die and who would live. I never treated anyone different, though. I secretly wanted the goat life style. It seemed much more fun, and WAS!