My favorite uncle passed away

by DiscoSandy 16 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  loosie
• 

  loosie

  (((Sandy)))

  I'm so sorry to hear that.

  I haven't been able to give my husband and kids an extended family.

  You ar saving your family from harm by not letting dysfunctional people hurt them. I used to feel guilty as well that I couldn't give my husband a normal MIL. Just know that you are not responsible for their actions. They are losing out on knowing you and your family. You and your immediate family are the better people, not them.

  (((hugs))) again
• 

  Barbie Doll

  DISCO SANDY----With deep sympathy and understanding....

  And the sincere hope that time will bring comfort

  and help to heal your sorrow.

  Barbie Doll
• 

  Finally-Free

  (They will, however, talk to my husband and kids.)

  Personally, I'd make it clear that anyone who shuns me had better not even think of going near my kids or communicating with them. Shunning is abusive behaviour and I would never knowingly allow abusive people near children. (if I had any) Never let anyone teach your children that it's ok to disrespect you.

  So sorry for your loss.

  W
• 

  PEC

  

  Philip
• 

  purplesofa

  Im sorry for your loss,
  
  Thinking of you
  
  purps
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  Instead, I will write down some of my memories of my uncle so that I can hold on to them and share them with my kids. What hurts me the most in all of this is that my children (and husband) have never been able to feel like they're part of a true extended family. Everyone on my side of the family are JWs. I have this constant feeling of guilt that I haven't been able to give my husband and kids an extended family. How do I get over that feeling? ? ? Thanks for listening.

  It's just a place where JW beliefs will be spread and your uncle will get 5 minutes of the speech.
  You don't need to be there. You writing down stuff is a great idea. Is it possible to get together
  with anyone who wouldn't shun you, and knows your uncle? You can gather at a restaurant or
  public place or whatever, and have a little remembrance. If nobody else can go, you can still take
  your family.

  If it were just your family, I would recommend telling the kids why you are doing it. Depending on
  their ability to grasp the situation, I would tell them how your family is caught in that religion that
  tells them what to think, and keeps them scared to disobey. It tells them to refuse to eat with
  anyone who got free from the religion and to avoid talking to them. They are told that this is a
  protection to them, but it's actually so that they don't figure out that they can get free from the
  religion, too.

  Beyond that, get them involved in something. Cub Scouts, Green Peace, Church stuff, neighborhood
  stuff, sports stuff. Whatever they want to get interested in. Also, my idea is to have some annual trip
  somewhere to be a family. It could be to the woods or to an amusement park, or just to a hotel with a pool.
  Tell them this is a celebration of the "DiscoSandy" family. Tell the kids how you feel bad that your
  family is caught in that religion, and you want family to know that you love them and miss them, but
  since they won't listen, you will tell your kids how you feel about it at this gathering. Don't make it a
  downer, just a short story you were thinking about Mom or Sis or Aunt Jane, then you all send your
  family a post card saying, HAVING A GREAT TIME. WISH YOU WERE HERE. No negatives beyond
  the "caught in that religion" stuff.