Weirdest People you've met while Witnessing!!! {Nut cases} (page 2)

flipper

The very first door my buddy and I went to at age 8 (40 years ago ) was a Penecostal lady who spoke in tongues at us blabbing unintelligible babble ! Ugaginbduregvtyu ! Both my friend and I ran away from the door at high speed to the street ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

onacruse

Two come immediately to mind:

One was an older lady who was dressed like a witch, and behind her was all this stuff that looked like witchy stuff, and she talked pretty witchy, and invited me in. I offered her a magazine, which she took, and then I left as fast as my little feeties would take me!

The other was like nomoreguilt, except that this young and very voluptuous lady didn't have anything on. She just opened the door full-wide, presented herself face-on, and said "Can I help you?" I said "No, we'll come back another time." That night I think I masturbated.

chickpea

out in the rurals... it was an older man named francis ( his wife kept calling out to him that someone was on the phone)

he called me and the elderly sister i was with "russellites" and really got into it with the older sister...... at one point i was speaking to him and told him it was good to meet someone who was so knowledgeable about the bible and he settled down..... but man was he intense!!!

the old sister walked off on him, his wife kept yelling that someone wanted him on the phone and he and i ended on a favourable note

ldrnomo

met one 25 years ago we called the space lady. she believed she was the queen on another planet (don't remember the name now) she was placed on earth so she would be protected from the war on her planet and when the war was over, they would come and get her. I think she is gone now. they got her.

there was another one who was into numerology everytime we came to the door she came out with a pad and pencil wrote down the time, date and how many letters were in our names and told us all about the meaning of the numbers I used to think she was crazy but she probably made more sense than we did

Awakened07

Hmm... Let's see. There was this lady who told us that her boyfriend wasn't in right now, but that he might come back any time; he apparently could levitate, travel through walls, and move from one place to another in the blink of an eye (could have been astral projection she meant though, but that's how I remember it). She also had this whole 'intro' to us about how all this may be just a dream etc. etc. We did our best little JW number, but were pretty badly flabbergasted by it all and soon figured out we didn't get anywhere here, so we walked away. In hindsight, I think she was just yanking our chains, and probably had a good laugh afterward.

Then there was a guy that came after us with a shotgun. Didn't fire on us, but we had to run.

Then there was this house where two old geezers lived out in the sticks, and we were invited in. It stunk of old tobacco, everything was yellow, and the dirty dishes were all the way up to the cabinets above the sink, all the way around the kitchen bench. Nice.

Then there was this house we thought was haunted, 'cause we knocked on the door - - and after a few seconds, we heard our knocking mimicked from inside. This repeated a few times, and we just had to walk away.

Black Sheep

I remember my father debating the immortal soul with a Dane.

Carlo tied my father in knots. He had an answer for everything.

In the end my father said......"These people are Bible Scholars!"

Well....That didn't go down too well with Carlo. He thumped the table and read my old man the riot act.

Dad, "You only need to raise your voice if you are losing an arguement!"

As an 11 year old, I knew my father was making a total twat of himself. It was sooo embarrassing.

But....

.....My father still skites about how he won the arguement with Carlo, so I have to vote him the biggest dickhead I ever met in the ministry.

I remember Carlo fondly. May he rest in peace.

Superfine Apostate

one time a young woman wearing only a t-shirt and no underwear opened the door... didn't know where to look at. i was in desperate need of a coffee-break after that. actually a cold shower would have been more proper.

katiekitten

I met an old lady who babbled on with lots of made up words which were pretty hard to wok out whether they were real clever words or made up ones. I spent ages trying to witness to her before I decided they were made up words and she was talking crappola. In hind sight im pretty sure she was mentally ill, and just not being looked after properly.

Met a man who said menacingly "theres a man who lives down there with asbestos teeth eating cucumber". I was pretty scared at every door down the street in case I met asbestos teeth man.

I pioneered with a man who had been a druggie before he became a witless, and he insisted on visiting all his old drug buddies to try and share hie wonderful new life with them. (He seemed unable to see that they were all bums and hobos who drank turps all day and talked crap). Ive sat through bible studies with lads smacked off their tits, ive sat in a squat with a group of alcoholics, one of whom said he was Jesus, one of whom said he could speak to god, and one who kept saying "you guys ought to get together then" and laughing. Sigh.

I guess the biggest loon was the man I pioneered with who showed a total lack of discernment about whose house he was willing to sit all day in spouting bible stuff. Rule of thumb - dont accept a cup of tea off them (Hep B, Hep C, etc etc)

Aphrodite

lol, so good to read some stuff that makes me laugh, these stories are awesome, unfortunately I dont think I have any to add.

Actually I do remember a lady I met as a teenager. I went D2D with my best friend and this lady told us she used to go to meetings but the elders thought she had a demon, so they went through all of her things but couldn't find anything. Eventually she left and joined the mormons because they "believed basically the same thing but had better stuff for her kids like basket ball hoops and get togethers". Funny we weren't scared of her and stayed for a good long chat, quite interesting really. Not quite weird though, made us think.

Now some of the publishers I witnessed with.....

JK666

I was at a house talking to a crazy lady and she kept telling me about her experience "seeing Jesus from the waist down." She went on and on about it. After a while, I bit and asked her "How did you know it was Jesus?" She told me "by the holes in his feet." Strangely, that made perfect sense to me.

I still want to make one return visit. This woman (very hot in her mid-20's) invited me in and said she would get some money for a donation. When she came back, she let her robe "accidentally" fall to the floor. I tell ya, I wouldn't run away now like I did then!

JK

Weirdest People you've met while Witnessing!!! {Nut cases}

Share this