I always faked back problems, was always a good actor.
Best Excuses for Getting out of Meetings
by Xena 30 Replies latest jw friends
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Rex B13
Hi Gang,
Like you, I also had my ways of getting out of meetings. Back in the old days of the early eighties, I had the excuse of 'working over' whenever the need would suffice. Thursdays and Tuesdays always seemed to have O.T. My wife had been attending much more than me at the time before our DF in '86. By the time of our reinstatement in '97 plus one year we needed no excuses after finding out the truth about the 'troof'........
Now I cannot wait to be at our church. Every time the doors are open we are there and it feels so good because it is something that we want to do. We believe that God has called us out of darkness and into the light.
Rex -
Naeblis
I used to light myself on fire and run screaming from the Kingdom Hall. Suckers!
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ZazuWitts
I'm ashamed to admit that I would occasionally overfeed our beagle dog, Smokey, table scraps. When he started to gag, I would carry him into the living room, where he would proceed to barf. Then, I would yell excitedly, "Mom, Smokey puked on the white carpet; I'll stay home and clean it up so it won't stain, okay." (Please forgive me sweet Smokey.)
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Angharad
GASP, Shame on you Zazu! (good one though)
I can't belive no one has posted 'time of the month'. Most people were too embarased to question it, so it worked great!
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Mum
I was not clever enough to get out of meetings. However, I remember a time when the Circuit Overseer was visiting and my husband's (now ex-hubby by the grace of God) employer wanted him to work late. My poor husband, an elder, explained as best he could (with his IQ of about 80) that there were special reasons why he could not work late, that the CO was visiting and that he had a part on the program.
His boss, not understanding JW vernacular, made an offer anyone else would not have been able to refuse: He said, "Just tell me who he is. I'll call him and get you out of it!" His generous offer was declined, but there were no repercussions job-wise.
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safe4kids
Angharad ..love that one! I used it too! Another favorite was when it would storm, I'd pray for the power to go out! After all, what could ya do if the power was out?? And man, even if it only blinked off and then back on, that was sufficient for me to say the power went off! LOLOL...I mean, I wasn't lying!!
Dana
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...
Closing Time, Semisonic -
Angharad
Dana
Talking of storms, when I was still living in Wales, one Thursday there was a very bad storm, which coensided with an unually high tide. The town flooded and roads where totally impassible. No-one went to the meeting (because they were to busy bailing out their front rooms), except this one elder who just happened to be the local fanatical witness[8>], he somehow managed to get though, must have parted the waters
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Simon
"Time of the month" never worked for me for some reason !?
I remeber in the Beano (or was it the Dandy?) that Roger the Dodget got off school by putting a hot flannel on his forehead an putting his hands in cold water and then claimed he was unwell... I tried it and IT WORKED! Mum thought I had a temperature and was shivery... wohoo! I just had to sit in with a quilt over me while I watched TV.
Aparently, when I was even smaller, I got off going to school one day by burying my shoes in the garden. Hey, what's she gonna do - send me barefoot?
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waiting
Ahhhhh, the famous "time of the month."
In Indiana before 1980, it was not considered a legitimate excuse, no matter how bad the cramps or blood. A pioneer's wife (also a pioneer) would literally hang on to her seat with pain trying to sit through the meetings - her husband said it would be a sign of weakness to stay home for "trivial woman problems."
If she was that weak, how would she EVER make it through the Tribulation, when there would be REAL pain?
She was in tears when an Awake! article came out saying that sometimes a woman might have to miss a meeting for "female discomfort." As soon as the WT said it - miraculously, it was oki-doki with the pioneer/elder husband. Go figure.
waiting