Well, towards the end of 2007, my life is really basically very good ! I have a lot to be thankful for, a wonderful wife , great son , a good place to live in the mountains , and great animals on our property , a peaceful life . Just one big void still there in my life , my JW daughters have frozen me out of their lives . It does hurt . I know lots of you have gone through this with witness adult children also . My daughters are 20 and 19, married witness " boys " in the last couple years . When I first stopped going to meetings 4 years ago , their mother, my ex, told my girls that I was being rebelious in disagreeing with the counsel the elders were giving me , ( they were advising me to get back with a druggie wife who had left me ) . I did not want to endanger my daughters , but I was dissed by the elders for calling them out on their stupid-a$$ counsel ! Then last year my witness ex wife tried to falsely get me DFed for " alledgedly " living with Mrs. Flipper one month before marrying ! My youngest daughter and her mother " spied " on my wife and I with absolutely NO concrete evidence , and the elders I had not seen in 4 years came chasing after me , like I was some kind of a threat , even though not attending for 4 years ! So, long story short I fougt their allegations , an appeal committee overturned the original JC elders decision to DF me, and after 9 months of interrogation I was free to go .
However after I was cleared as a free man, my daughters would NOT have anything to do with me ( spurred on by their mom) . I have written just kind , normal letters to see how they are doing, never get one back . I have called them, never a phone call back . So, I just watch and wait . But towards the end of the year , I am becoming proactive now, carefully !
I talked at length with a certain poster ( I'll keep it confidential as I don't know if he wants people to know he did this ) who helped his mom get out of the witnesses by using methods pointed out in the book by Steve Hassan, " Combatting Cult Mind Control ". This posters mom had been a witness for 20 years and by using kindness, intuitive questioning and methods I am presently learning about by reading this book , helped his mom escape a mind control cult, The Jehovah's Witnesses . So, I haven't got to that point in the book yet, I am on page 80 or so, but after the first of the year I have a plan to use these methods to try and help my daughters get back their critical thinking ability . In the book it says that all cult members have " dual " identitities . They have their cult identity which they wear most of the time as witnesses , " a robot like speech pattern like a tape recording of a cult lecture. Very rigid posture, facial muscles tighten,. A cult members eyes will be glassy, cold, or glazed , and they often seem to stare through people . Not much emotion. " " But when a person is talking from his original identity (not cult infuenced ) , he is more spontaneous. Speak with more range of emotion, will be more expressive and will share his feelings more willingly His muscles will be more relaxed , eye contact will be more natural, and body language warmer . " Steve Hassan continues sayin, " Recognizing this change , ( when a cult person goes back and forth from one personality to the other, even in mid-sentence) and acting appropriately, is the key to unlocking the person's real self and freeing it from the cult's bondage . " And of course those methods are pointed out later in the book.
So, this was an eye opener for me , that there is still an element of a witnesses original personality still deep in there ( pre-witness ) that we have to reach somehow. I am also feeling guilt for raising my daughters as witnesses, although I was raised in it, what was I to do? Until I found out ? In the past since my not attending meetings my daughters would say to me, " Well, Dad, you raised us to believe this ? Are you saying we shouldn't do it now ? " But now I feel a renewed committment to gradually hep them get their original reasoning back . I know it will take awhile, but I love my daughters, miss them, and don't want to see them waste their lives away in a mind control cult. So, what do you guys think ? Do I have a shot, a chance to reach them ? I think it's worth a try , of course in a careful, tactful way . I've talked with someone who did it , I hope it works . As always I welcome your caring kind thoughts. Peace out to all, Mr. Flipper