I say go for it and I wish you luck! One question I have though is this. If you have no contact with your kids, then how will you be able to physically discern the opportunity? I have tried to engage without anger using letters to some family members however, the results have all been negative and in the end, I've decided that my time in this life is valuable to me and not to them, so I no longer try. Let us know as events transpire - you have our support in the challenges ahead!..........sammieswife.
I Miss My JW Daughters Terribly- But I Have a Plan for 2008 !
by flipper 31 Replies latest jw friends
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flipper
SAMMIESWIFE- Great question. That will be a bit difficult if they won't see me at all ! I hope to see some advice I can use in the " Combatting Cult Mind Control " book I've been reading ! I am not to that point in the book but hope to be there shortly. So , I'll let you know what I find out ! Thanks for the encouragement ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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OnTheWayOut
Is your son able to speak with them? Have him read the Hassan books and work together.
Enlist the help of any family members that are not JW's, but are willing to help. -
Mum
You have your work cut out for you. Results may or may not come, and may come later rather than sooner. Regardless of using Hassan's advice, the best thing you can do is to let your daughters know that you love them whether they are JW's or not, whether they have red hair or blue hair, whether they use a manual toothbrush or a sonic one, etc. You get the point.
Acceptance and patience work wonders, but don't necessarily work fast. Deep down, the young ladies probably know already that you are really the parent they would have to come to if they had a real problem. My daughter did, and that is why she is closer to me than to her JW parent. She is not a JW anymore either.
Best wishes. Don't give up.
Regards,
SandraC
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flipper
OTWO- Thanks OTWO. Yeah, my son is able to talk with them, although he can't stand his younger sister( who ratted me out ) , she always tries to preach at him ! My older daughter is closer to him though in age and emotionally, so that might just work, if he talks with her . Although my ex didn't do my daughters any favors by probably telling them about the e-mails she shared back and forth with their alledged "apostate thinking " brother. Don't know for sure what she told my girls, but having lived with her for 19 years , I assume she told them.
But that is a great idea to enlist his help in the effort . Might lighten my load too. I will talk with him about it. Good idea. Thanks .
MUM- Sandra, thanks. I agree that my daughters need to keep seeing my unconditional love . So, I keep sending them letters, phone calls, etc. Hopefully they will respond to it gradually . What good results you had with your daughter gives me hope ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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Snoozy
My children and I left the JW religion about the same time..we just slowly stopped going to the meetings. The kids were in their late teens and starting a life of their own. Getting jobs..cars..their own place to live..so I had no problem there. The problem is now..I am just starting to realize the anger they feel towards me for so called ruining their childhood! All that they had to endure being JW's at school..not allowed to associate with the worldly kids...and all that goes with being a JW as a child. The nightmares they had that I never knew about..falling in a firey pit if they were bad..Demons...I can't believe some of the things that went through their minds at such tender ages. I have told them how sorry I was but nothing can take their pain away. When you are raised to believe a certain way it is hard for them to let go. Even if mom says it's OK.
That is something I will have to live with the rest of my life..the guilt.Not being strong enough to say..this can not be the "Truth"...when I first started having doubts. I could have spared them a lot of pain. They have no contact with their witness relatives..they miss them but have no desire to hear the JW language..
And because they were raised as a JW they never knew their "worldly relatives.". They were taught by their JW relatives that the worldly relatives were bad!. All the worldly relatives were all on my side of the family..so that made my side "bad". Something that angers me to this day. They missed out on some pretty amazing relatives which of many are dead now.
They are all happy now..satisfied with their lives..but you can tell when talking about certain subjects they still harbor some resentment.
Snoozy...who hopes it turns out better for you!
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flipper
SNOOZY- Thanks for your experiences . I'm sorry your children went through that stress, growing up. I too feel some guilt having raised my kids up in the witnesses. But my parents raised me that, it's all I knew. I hope I can spare my daughters more years in the mind control cult, called the Jehovah's Witnesses. Thanks for your comments, peace out, Mr. Flipper
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Ancient One
Good luck *_*, hope you succeed
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flipper
ANCIENT ONE- Thanks very much for your support, I hope I succeed too. Gonna give it all I've got ! By the way, welcome to the board ! Nice to meet you ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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aSphereisnotaCircle
I think it's a great idea.
I have used some of hassan's techniques on the dubs when they call on me, and once you become aware of the dual personality thing, it is easy to tell which "mode" the jw is in when they are talking to you.
The best you can hope for is a flash of the authentic personality coming through every now and then. They are usually very quick to swith back to the dub personality. But I consider every one a victory.
I had a sister calling on me for a while. One day she brought a bored, distracted, polite young brother with her (maybe 20). You could tell he wasn't really paying attention to our conversation. But at one point, I asked the question, "If the majority of mankind is displeasing to god, why did he create us that way?".
The sister said "he gave us freewill, and the majority choose to sin".
I said, "so why did he create us with the kind of freewill that makes the majority of us want to disobey?"
She had a couple of more twists on the "freewill makes it our fault crapola", and I just kept saying "so why did he create us that way".
At one point you could almost literally see a lightbulb go on over the bros head, he suddenly sat up staraight and looked at me and said, "wow, you've really thought about this haven't you!". For a moment you could actually see intelligence in his eyes, then after a moment the glazed look came over him again.
I consider that a victory, I doubt he will soon forget that "aha" moment.
It was an accumulation of those moments that got me out.