Preparing for Armageddon!

by Mindchild 18 Replies latest jw friends

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  Mindchild

  What was the silliest thing you ever did to prepare for Armageddon?

  Way back when in my pioneering days, when we were out in service we would often talk about what to do when the Great Tribulation came along. One of my pioneering buddies told me that he was so sure the GT was around the corner that he went and buried some food for the bro’s and sis’ to eat when we fled to the hills. Another pioneering buddy told me that he was having his wife practice torturing him (hey I thought it was illegal for dubs to do BDSM?) so he could withstand persecution when he got arrested and they wanted to know who all the members of the congregation were.

  One day, these guys asked me what my contribution was going to be and a few weeks later I had my answer. I invented exploding socks. Yes, like KABOOM! Well, when I told them that I did this, they laughed and didn’t believe me. I suggested to my pioneer bud that we go to his house and I would take my socks off (it was summer then) and I would throw them in an old trash barrel he burned his trash in that was located in his back yard. When we all got there, he changed his mind and was worried about cleaning up a mess in his backyard so he suggested that we go to my Cousins house a few blocks away. So, we drove over there (counting time of course) and I told my cuz what I had in mind he thought it was a big joke and told me to just use his fireplace as he had a unbreakable glass covering over it.

  Now, here is the scene, there are four of us standing around in the living room and I take my socks off and put them in the fireplace and light a piece of newspaper nearby. We are all standing in front when the socks go off. They worked much better than I expected. Everything in the fireplace was shot out in the living room, and all of us were covered from head to toe with soot and the whole house filled with smoke. Luckily, none of us was injured but the house was a mess. The neighbors called the fire department, which came a few minutes later. LOL! I’m surprised I didn’t get public reproof for that one. I was banned forever from my Cousins house and the elders told me to never again play around with my laundry. Hahaha

  Skip-KABOOM-per
• 

  Moxy

  for real?

  what armageddon situation could you possibly have thought exploding socks would better prepare you for?

  mox
• 

  Mindchild

  Yeah Moxy...hate to admit it now but it was for real. Of course I was under the influence at the time:-)

  Oh, and the idea behind it was that if we got locked in a room, we could use the socks to blow the doors. LOL!

  Isn't the brain on religion an amazing thing? <snicker>

  Skipper
• 

  wannahelp

  Skip,

  Are you sure you aren't the professor :-)
• 

  Francois

  Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not one thing. Um, well, I DID get laid as many times as I could so I would know what I was going to miss when the big A came along.

  Then, when I stopped believing in the Big A, the JWs, and everything they stood for, I went out and got laid again as many times as possible in celebration of the fact that I wasn't going to miss anything at all after all.

  I figger the good Lord made sex so powerful a drive in men and women that it would be unappreciative of me to just blow it off (pardon), um, resist it like the JWs wanted. Don'tcha think?

  Francois
• 

  ballistic

  I hid a bible in a polythene bag in the loft space or wall of each house that I moved out of. I expect they're all still there.

  *
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  pettygrudger

  I can remember in spring of '75, so sure the end was near, and being a small child of 6, I dug a hole in the back yard and proceeded to move peanut butter, canned goods, etc. into this hole, along w/water of course (the thought of eating mice & spiders was a little extreme for me).

  Of course I got caught, and for some reason my mother was torn between letting me keep my cache and making me fix the yard. The latter won out but I'll never forget her 1st reaction - she seemed to think it wasn't such a bad idea.
• 

  Cygnus

  Exploding socks my arse.

  I didn't make any preparations at all, I trusted in Jehovah and his organization.

  However, I did know one brother who had it in writing that if he were ever injured badly and in a vegetable state, he would most certainly not ever want the plug pulled but would wish to remain kept "alive" until Armageddon. Why? So that he could still be married to his wife, since if he "died," he would have to be resurrected as a single man forever and ever.
• 

  Mindchild

  Wannahelp...I have a friend who uses the Professor as his nickname and another friend who is named Gilligan...I got stuck with Skipper.

  LOL!
• 

  Ranch

  Mindchild,

  I was very young during the seventies (4-13yrs old) when they were telling all those scary persecution stories.
  All this was very traumatizing to me and as a child I felt pretty helpless.
  I needed to feel some kind of control over all this.
  I remember hearing all these stories of how they would take away all our literature and bibles.
  There were miracle stories and examples of sneaky ways Jw'S would get a magazine baked into a cake in prison etc..Or how literature was hidden somewhere and when the authorities searched they were blinded by Jah because they couldn't see the hidden literature when right in front of their eyes!

  So I hid Bibles when I was in my early teens.
  I had complete confidence that Jah would bless me because of this act of faith.

  I thought he could work through me.
  I hid one inside a recliner, taped one behind a drawer in a piece of furniture and I buried one in a Ziploc bag in the yard.
  I figured they wouldn't find them all.

  Those persecution stories used to scare me so bad at the meetings when I was around 4-5 I used to pretend I had my own angel sitting in the empty chair beside me. I would be protected.
  I was such a good little cult member!

  Your story about the socks is hilarious!!I like Moxy, want to know what you were gonna do with them and also about how old were you?
  Oh, I almost forgot, How do you make exploding socks?