by civicsi00 19 Replies latest jw friends
Welcome to the forum
I would not talk about doctrines right now, you know what will happen.
You could mention though some issues such as child abuse...NBC report, UN involvment for 10 years, voting issue where brothers have lost their lives in Malawi and then the society changed the policy to a conscience matter, blood policy change...we can take fractions of blood but cannot give it to others.
"To thine own self be true"
Trust me you can't go on like this. Sooner or later you will blurt it out or go "to far" and be reported to the elders.
I would go out on top. I would raise my hand during the Watchtower study and ask a related question that you know they can't answer. Maybe even research a conflicting quote from another publication. Ask like "If this Watchtower says we should________than why does this Watchtower say we should______. Just say you were doing extensive research and came upon this quote.
Keep doing that until they bust you. See if you can video it and put it on UTube. That would be some funny stuff!!
The way you are feeling your "dead man walking" anyway. You might as well have some fun with it and have a great story and video tape!
If I could only do mine over. I just told the Elders off. One told me he had never heard the "f" word used so much.
Fred www.isnrblog.com
Ask anyone here and in your life where it says the Watchtower is God's org, and you will get babble, but no answer. Ask where it is and you will find only Jesus. Follow your heart to Jesus and live the truth, not their sick ways.
As you have seen by the posters here, there are many things to think about before making a decision because of the implications involved. After being on JWD for a while I realised that I couldn't carry on a living a lie. I have JW family too and I knew that I faced losing them if I decided to DA. I also knew that I couldn't carry on going to the KH, doing FS etc because it was too stressful for me. I had to be true to myself, so I stopped all JW activities and decided to tell my son how I felt. I didn't talk to him in a confrontational way, but I told him I was shocked at what I had found out about the WT and proceeded to tell him about some of the things I know. It has been very difficult for me since then as I am still not sure whether he will continue to include me in his life or not. He seems to be avoiding me at the moment and lives some distance away which means that is easier to do.
I strongly believe that I owe it to my family, and any JW captives, to find a way of letting them know the truth about the WT and have a chance to be free.
The WT is a cult and all JW's are under powerful mind control so they make sure there is no way of leaving without a price. I wish you the very best in whatever path you chose.
Maddie
Dear Civics...,
WELCOME to the forum! I too was raised as a 3rd Generation Witness. And like you, discovered that the organization is not at all what I had built it to be in my own mind. Its hard especially when you are discovering all the hidden things the organization doesn't want you to find, to hold it all in. But beware. My husband who was at the time a MS confided our questions with his mother who in turn decided to open her mouth and tell everyone! It ultimately led to our being labeled apostates. It was a painful road of frusteration. Many of our loved ones have nothing to do with us anymore, all because ofd questions they cannot and refuse to answer. So be careful in how much you tell anyone, unless you are ready to deal with what will inevitably happen. I gaurentee, unless your mother has questions of her own, she will most likely not be able to keep what you tell her to herself. She will most likely run to the elders. It is a very frusterating place to be.. we know. Hang in there!! We are here for you!
Sincerely,
Lady Liberty
Welcome to the board! It's good to have you here.
I cried when I realized jw was wrong and my kids and family were still in it and there was nothing I could do to help them.
So, I tried to beat them at their own game. I tried to understand the true Gospel and use the Bible and only that to help them. It turned out they wouldn't even read the quoted Scriptures I sent by email from their own Bible to them.
I see grace and love as the key to spreading the gospel. You can't change someone's mind who isn't interested in truth. By showing them love even when they are acting poorly makes them think about their own actions. I find that if I take the high road they always take the low road. Sooner or later that has to make them think.
I stay true to my beliefs. I interject things if I ever get the chance.(which is like twice a year.) Show love and ask them questions of a simple nature that gets them to think. They need to trust you and want what you want before any bigger steps can happen. I say kill them with kindness. They will figure it out that they don't deserve your kindness by their own actions. Hopefully, sooner than later, it will have them asking their own questions.
I hope it works out well for you!!! Life has been awesome since I left two and a half years ago! The hall was my life. It was my family. I was totally a believer. Then I hit bottom and tried to make sure of things and I found I had fallen for a lie. I realized that the whole gospel is that Jesus did everything we couldn't and that by our faith in what he did for us gives us everlasting life! It's called grace and it's free, a gift. It's pretty awesome! A real life changer! No more treadmill, but a relationship that grows.
Welcome ((((((((((civicsi00)))))))))). I wasn't raised in the cult and I have no family members in so I really don't have any advice for you, but I feel for you and wish you the best.
Thank you all for your responses!
I've been seriously weighing my decision about what to do, and there are just so many different ways to approach it. I have talked to my mom carefully and casually, but maybe she is better off inside the WT. My dad passed away 7 years ago, and all she has is the WT. But if the tower ever fell, I will be there for her and everyone else. I've also spoken to my in-laws but they're pretty hard-headed. And they haven't turned me in to the elders, so I'm not worried about them. They just won't reason with simple logic.
I will take Changelings advice and stay quiet in front of the "brothers". They may seem sincere, but they're also whistleblowers. I'm not ready for that yet, but I know it's coming.
I especially liked isnrblog's response. Dude, if I could go out while I'm on top, I would, but I don't think I can stomach going to the KH enough to plant those seeds. I wouldn't make it very far anyway, since we're not supposed to stray from the printed material (LOL).
I will say that after reading the Bible on my own, I see things in a different light. I never understood why half a scripture was for the anointed, and the other half was for the great crowd. Jesus kept it simple. So why can't we? Thank you all again, it's nice to see so much support!! I don't understand why JWs are so damn loyal to the organization, and I guess I never will. For the time being, I'm going to stay inactive so that I can plant some seeds of doubt in my family. If I ever get DF, I will definitely keep you guys posted!
Fading might be the best option. If you tell people what you know about that organization, they will not listen and will only clam up all the more, digging in their heels. Plus you will be disfellowshipped for apostasy. Those already in will not listen to anything that goes against them, since that is how they are programmed.
The best thing you can do, if you wish to keep family (who may never leave), is to start skipping meetings and doing less field circus. Best to prepare a nice excuse, since they are starting to crack down hard on skipping meetings (from "Fever/Fracture/Funeral", to "Sick in the hospital", to "No excuses"). It helps to start going to a few meetings, or about 50-50, with another congregation, for a time. Once that pattern is established, they will not know whether you are going to their meeting or the other one. Stay on the border, and make the meeting attendance pattern as unpredictable as possible. At that point, you are still going to all or most of the meetings. You will still have to puke your way through the studies.
Once that pattern is established, you simply begin skipping the meetings altogether. Each side thinks you went to the other, and they won't know whose turn it is to hound you. Gradually you start missing more meetings and reducing field circus. At this stage, faking a reasonable number of hours on your report while doing the obligatory one hour a month helps. You might even wish to do an hour of dummy service (that is, where you have no intention of actually accomplishing anything), while reporting 5 or 6 hours. Keep this up for a while, gradually increasing the missed meetings, and one day you stop totally. They won't know who to send to hound you, though your book study conductor that you are assigned to might be first.
welcome Civic.....
If 99% of your family are witnesses - just keep fading - it's the hard way ( I think ) 'cos you're free but not free. But the hard part is keeping quiet about what you know and how you feel (my mistake - I blurted everything out to anyone that would give me 2 seconds).
Talk to us on here, share your new findings with us, share you findings with others that may be thinking of becoming witnesses, share it with people in general (if you discuss religion at work - you may surprised to find some like to chat - and you can tell them how blown away you are)
