My story: "Pop!" goes the Little Circuit Breaker

by TJ - iAmCleared2Land 115 Replies latest jw friends

  • BIG D
    BIG D

    Big hugs TJ, words escape me, just know i am a caring father of three boys, and i am so sorry for your pain,

    big d

  • changeling
    changeling

    I just read your story. I knew it was here but wanted to have time to sit and read it carefully.

    I wish you would consider publishing this. It shows so clearly how when you couple a derranged mind with religious fervor you end up with a monster.

    My heart feels for your broken heart and I hope time will help you heal your wounds,

    changeling

  • TJ - iAmCleared2Land
    TJ - iAmCleared2Land
    I wish you would consider publishing this.

    Thanks, Changeling... publish how? You mean write a book?

  • Frequent_Fader_Miles
    Frequent_Fader_Miles

    I've just spent the majority of an hour catching up on the rest of your story. Wow!

    All I can say is you chose a most appropriate name for your parents .... monsters!!! That's exactly what they are! And to think they believe they're annointed ... unbelievable!!! This is the same man who aspired to be a Circuit Overseer?!!!!

    I wouldn't even treat a dog the way they treated their own children!!!! That was just plain abuse ... just wrong.

    Showers twice a week? Did they allow you to shower before the meetings, field service, and all those assemblies you all were "starring" in?

    I'm relieved to know you've finally made steps to overcome all those traumatic experiences.

  • TJ - iAmCleared2Land
    TJ - iAmCleared2Land

    I posted this same story on an ex-JW site my brother and sis-in-law frequent. He wonders what it will be like when the monsters are no longer alive on this planet.

    http://exjehovahswitnessforum.yuku.com/reply/72710/t/My-story-Pop-goes-the-Little-Circuit-Breaker.html#reply-72710

  • ex-nj-jw
    ex-nj-jw

    TJ - I must say that when I first opened your thread, days ago I didn't read it because "it was too long". I'm glad that a friend told me about it and that I did go back and read it. ((((((((((((((((((((TJ))))))))))))))))))) for all the time you needed it and no one was there to give it. ((((((((((((((((TJ))))))))))))) for the grown man with a wife and children that had to go through this treatment.

    Thank you for sharing your story! I can clearly see that you have become a better person than many despite your traumatic childhood.

    nj

  • GoddessRachel
    GoddessRachel
    This will sound odd in the light of everything I've said so far, but there was "love" in the family too... lots of hugs, actually. Of course, they were given when "accepted back in" at the end of restrictions. It was feast or famine on the emotional level.

    This is deceivingly sick because it messed with your head even more, convincing yourself that this was YOUR problem and not theirs. I echo what many have said that these monsters should be locked up!

    I agree with Changeling. YES, write a book, publish it. You can self publish at lulu.com.

    Oh my god, TJ, I am so sorry for all that you and your precious siblings have endured and I thank you so much for having the courage to share this with us here. As I sat here and read this I alternated between shaking and crying. This was very important for me to read; I'm sure many others feel the same.

    I was disfellowshipped from the congregation and reinstated. It was traumatic for me, but through it all I knew my family loved me, even if they wouldn't call me during that time (I was an adult and out of the house). What you endured is beyond horrific. Knowing what being disfellowshipped feels like I am especially struck by the pain and torture of being actually disfellowshipped from the family. There is just too much to even comment on, so much of it is just beyond wrong. Your father and step-mother are sick sick people, TJ, and I hope they are exposed for all that they have done! Again, THANK YOU for sharing this. Thank you for reaching out to us. Thank you for allowing us to share and heal together.

    Also, when Crumpet and TIJ described how they are, where they can be sociable but have to fight the urge to run away, how they just hole up and don't speak to people for weeks at a time, well, that was a revelation to me. I have thought it was my conditioning through being disfellowshipped that created this side of me, but I thought I was just a freak and alone in this. I was crying to realize that the WTS did this to me, and I'm not alone in this struggle, that the punishment was too long and I am like that broken child in some ways... and that is why I'm not capable of keeping friends (I'm great at making friends! just not the long term part - too hard, I shut down), returning phone calls, being "normal." So, thanks, for helping me. I love this place so much.

    PEACE,

    Rachel

  • Layla33
    Layla33

    I started reading this and was completely memorized with the story.

    I can totally understand the disfellowshipping of the family and I experienced this as well. I hadn't thought about that in a very long time.

    I wonder how many JW children/teenager dealt with this? I consider it a form of child abuse actually, it took years to undo that horror and pain.

    My heart goes out to you, really.

  • mind my own
    mind my own

    Yes, I also struggle with some similar social issues. I thought it was just me...very interesting to discover that I am not alone with this, that this horrible cult conditions people to have struggles for the rest of their lives over things that just come to natural to others. I will be fighting off the effects of this forever I am sure.

    MMO

  • journey-on
    journey-on

    TJ....there are no words. I just finished your story and I can hardly breathe. Your writing is awesome. I'm sure

    it was both painful and cathartic to tell your story. Thank you for sharing.

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