Blood Type (page 2)

mommy

Christina,
I know I was told what my children's blood type was but I can't remember my son's, it is not something I worry about. But I do remember my daughter's because she has a poor medical history. I didn't know what my blood type I was until I donated, and I don't thinks many JW's know their blood type.

As far as him going for blood tests, they don't test what type of blood you are unless there is a reason for it. Most tests are just for targetted areas, such as cell counts, and cholestrol, etc. Normally unless going in for serious surgery, many people in general don't have any idea what blood type they are.

One, other thing Work out your probs with him, before the kiddies come along. I think feeling like a pin cushion might be the least of your worries, if things are not a bit smoother between you too.
wendy

Blind faith can justify anything.~Richard Dawkins

larc

Christina,

Why do you think he is going to marry you?

Why do you think he would worry about his blood type when he believes that having a blood transfusion is wrong?

Why does he not introduce you to his parents?

Don't you get it?

Christina77

Yes Larc, I do get it... and that is why I am trying to get more information from a neutral source on the issues that I need answered. Yes he is going to marry me... that is all I hear from him.... when WE get married.... When WE have kids... When WE live together... etc. etc. etc. And can't I pose a question? I know the blood transfusion thing is wrong and he will never have one... but didn't you discuss things that pertained to it when you took biology... ok kids go home and find out what your parents blood type is, so we can do a punnet square... and that is it... I need to know, I don't care if he has any reason to use it, and when it comes down to it when we do have kids... He has to get it tested... I am only thinking of the future... nothing soon... that is all... and these are things I need to know now, before we get married, it is issues like this that I need to base my reasoning on and if I can actually handle this... And I know why he hasn't introduced me to his parents... because he is scared of what his community will do to him and will only do it when we have everything settled that we can move in with eachother and support eachother as a family. Because I don't know what the outcome will be, but he is no going to give me up. Not now, not ever... no matter what they say!

Sirona

Hi Christina

I havent seen a lot of your posts so I might be saying something someone has already said, but I'd be careful if I was you about the marriage thing. JWs have the philosophy that if you date someone for any length of time then marriage is "expected" and "proper" and under no circumstances should you continue the relationship for years without marriage. Sex before marriage is prohibited as you might know, and even if a JW has sex before marriage he may feel very uneasy about it and wish to be marriage just to alleviate the guilt of having sex outside of marriage against the teachings of the bible.

This may not be an issue for you, but as a young JW I felt pressured to get married at age 20 and now think that was a mistake.

Im not saying these are his motives but you must be aware of those facts.

Sirona

Christina77

Sirona -

The main post about my relationship is under Relationships/Dating/Sex, the post is Interfaith Relationship. He is 25 and I am 24, young but old enough to make that decision properly. Both his sister and brother got married younger than we are... and I am not his first sexual partner and neither is he mine... we have both had a good amount of experience... so I don't think it is guilt to marry me... We do truthfully love eachother, and hate being apart. My religion pushes 6 months to get engaged and 6 months to get married... but rarely is it used... People take their time and make sure that this is the right person.

Thanks again
Christina

Cassiline

Christina,
Most JW's I knew did not know their blood type most likely because of not giving nor receiving blood products. I can't remember anything in the JW doctrine that prohibits your boyfriend from having his blood tested to assure the safety of your life and that of a child you may produce.

This statement of yours does concern me,

... and I am not his first sexual partner and neither is he mine... we have both had a good amount of experience... so I don't think it is guilt to marry me...

If he is a sincere JW he should not have premarital sex with you. I am concerned that at some point in your relationship whether it be before or after marriage and he remains a JW he may confess this "sin" and all hell will break out. A JC will be gathered and weigh his "sin" and his repentance. This will cause much turmoil in your life as well and his and his family's.

I know love is a wonderful thing and you seem to be happy but please know all the aspects of JW culture before plunging into an unknown atmosphere.

C

When the pain of being where we are, becomes greater than our fear of letting go...we will risk and heal and grow.

Christina77

I am well aware of that fact and I know that is what he is definitely avoiding letting anyone know about me... and it will be absolutely horrible. He also said when he told me that he was a JW, that I can't tell his parents that we are having sex, but they are going to assume that we are... I really don't think it is proper dinner conversation and I would feel very uncomfortable talking to them reguardless of anything to do with sex.... The most that I would ever believe I would tell them would be... oh we are trying to get pregnant or we are pregnant... end of story... and I am not pregnant just to make that clear... And I can't exactly hide the fact that I have had pre-maritial sex, since my proof looks at me everyday from my daughters eyes. And thank god I never married her father...

Why would it matter after we got married, they arn't going to be nice to us anyway... and it isn't like I would be walking around telling everyone that we slept together before we got married and especially since I know what they are going to do to him because of it.

Thank you for your advice... and all the advice that I can get is helping me so much, more than you can imagine... I need all I can get to help me prepare for my future.

Christina

Cassiline

Christina,

I was not implying you were going to run around and tell everyone that you had sex before marriage. My point was what if he confesses this "sin"? Being a JW can weigh heavily on your mind and sometimes one decides to confess all before God and the body of elders in this religion. I have heard of cases of two grown adults confessing sex before marriage a year after the fact and a JC is still convened and action taken. The action depending on what level the elders decide you have repented, your status in the hall etc...

All I was trying to say was be careful and I hope you are not hurt by these people who at times can be unforgiving and malicious.

C

When the pain of being where we are, becomes greater than our fear of letting go...we will risk and heal and grow.

larc

Christina,

You are going to get married "some day"? I don't think so. It will never happen. If you don't believe me, why don't you suggest marriage by the end of the year and see what happens.

Christina77

Cassiline, that is horrible... I didn't realize that, but I really don't intend on bringing up that subject with anyone that has a direct effect on him, just to make sure that he isn't penalized... But are they going to ask that of us? and I guess we need to discuss what the answer will be so that we both are on the same page. And won't they take away his privilages just for dating me, and it will be moreso when we get married? I am preparing myself to deal with whatever comes my way, and I will stand my ground and I have already told him that he HAS to back me up, because he brought ME into this.

Thanks
Christina

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