ar weong tiopc
Counseling/Guiding your kids on their sexual awakening...
by TJ - iAmCleared2Land 15 Replies latest social family
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SixofNine
Prom dress?
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hemp lover
She comes in colors everywhere
It's in her hair, she's like a raaaaaiiiiinboooowww.
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SixofNine
well theoretically it wouldn't be in her hair...
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Crumpet
I'd start out by always being open and trying to gauge how much a child wants or needs to know sexually. Frequently children are offput by their parent's embarassment on the subject. I remember I was and I also remember that my 5 year old step daughter had questions, more about bodily functions/ what tampax machines were for/where babies came from and I told her nicely she should ask her mother, because basically I didnt want to steal a precious mother daughter form her mother. But the little girl tried and came back and asked me again and said her mother got angry with her and she was scared to ask again, so I told her my version, which hopefully was just enough for her age and not too much (having spoken with her dad to check it was ok!)
sexual awakening - I'd say make sure your kids have plenty of private time and space to um occupy themselves without worrying that you are going to walk in. Watch the transformers movie or American Pie (the Dad in that is bloody excellent) and let them know one way or another your old fogey dad or mom is completely cool with masturbation and there is nothing to be ashamed of.
As for sexual partners, I'd really like my kids to wait until they couldnt bear it any longer. After all I had to suffer why shouldnt they? No, seriously I'd not encourage vast sexual experimentation with multiple partners until they had at least their first experience with someone they cared about it. It colours you. I think it might be where I went wrong. I'd like them to have the choice of unpressured sex with someone they have grown to know and care about first .
(BTW I don't have any kids so I could be miles off target.)
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AlyMC
This is one of the hardest things for me to navigate as a mama. Growing up it was so "hush, hush, shame, shame, bad, bad" that it is hard for me not to revert back to that on an reactionary level.
I'm not opposed to premarital sex, or sex outside of a long term committed relationship. I think it is ok for sex to be physical sometimes if that is what both partners hope to get out of it and nobody is being mislead. I really hope my kids wait until after they are 25 to choose a long term partner, but I don't expect them to wait that long to experience sexual contact.
I plan to tell my kids that some people do A, some do B and that they have to look within to figure out their truth. The only one who can figure out what they can live with internally (long term) is them. I think it is important to empower them and give them control over their own sexuality, because anything else is just perceived control. (IOW, they are the only ones who truly have control, so be honest about it.)
And of course, they will be well educated on birth control, STD's, and their body. I hope they will understand how the body works (aka natural family planning). My goal now is just to be calm, honest, open, and casual about the topic. So far so good.