Help! I am afraid that I will join Satan...

EvaZ

Hi. This is my first post on this forum. I am a forty years old women, and I have been a Christian all my life. I am thinking about joining Jehovas Witnesses since God has told me that you got the truth, the REAL truth. I have plenty of questions about the movement, but right now I have big problems... So I will wait with asking those questions.

I have lately felt drawn to evil... I don't really know how to explain it... But it feels like evil would be a good thing for me. Of course I know that that is not the truth, but I can't help thinking that. And I have these horrible thoughts and dreams, where I do terrible and horrible things. I can see myself in Hell, next to Satan drinking blood and laughing... And I am dreaming of killing people, and hurt them... And when I realize what I am thinking about i burst out into tears and pray, and I pray to God for him to help me. Sorry if this post got a bit hard to read, but at least I tried to explain to you what I feel. Please, somebody help me. What is Satan doing to me, everything is a mess right now... Has God abandoned me? I feel that I have lived a good life, and haven't done anything wrong... Please help me, I don't know why this is happening to me... Help me!

/Eva

cognac

Hello Eva,

I'm sorry that you are going through this... Maybe the idea of doing something evil is something that you are so afraid to do that the very idea of it overpowers your mind. We will try our best to help you and to support you. sometimes, the best way of dealing with these obviously painful and overpowering thoughts is to seek counseling... Have you thought about that? It might help you to get a handle why these things are happening to you.

Feel free to write what you are feeling as much as you want. Sometimes writing things out helps also...

avishai

Go to a therapist, sounds like you need an objective opinion to sort your feelings out.

nelly136

have you been studying long?

when you say thinking of joining the jws do you mean getting baptised?

nelly136

and did your worries about satan, evil and killing people start before of after contact with jws?

Vivamus

Well ... First off, you have found a forum with people who are mostly incactive, or ex Jehovah's Witnesses. We all have had questions and doubts about the organisation, and seeked answers to those questions.

So my first advice to you would be : honor your doubts. Ask the questions (here, internet, etc) and don't stop asking till you get satisfied with the answer.

About the dreams. I am not a psychologist (or any other profession which can explain dreams) but I am 100% sure it's not Satan thats talking to you. Maybe it's your subconscious telling you to get away from the organisation.

sandy

In all seriousness this is not Satan talking to you and you should seek professional help before your hurt someone else or yourself.

Chalam

Hi EavZ,
Please see my thread here

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/151243/1.ashx

The JWs beliefs are totally contradictory to any normal bible so they have their own called the New World Translation and another book to interpret it.

The don't not believe that Jesus died on the cross, in the Trinity, that the Holy Spirit is a person, in Hell or that there is an afterlife etc. etc.

So are you saved? Have you been born again?

My opinion is that God is talking to you through these dreams. I am going to get flamed for saying that but who cares, it is what I believe.

If you look in your Bible, God speaks to people in dreams from start to finish. God is not allowing this because He hates you but because He loves you.

"I feel that I have lived a good life, and haven't done anything wrong..."

Have you read this in the Bible?

Isaiah 64:6
All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away.

Or this?

Ephesians 2 (New International Version)

Made Alive in Christ

1As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature[a] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. 4But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast.

So I trust that makes sense. You will find a lot of different opinions here, there are many ex JWs, quite a lot of atheists, some born again Christians like myself and many 'still deciding'.

Please feel free to ask any questions. Post here or send me a message if you prefer.

All the best,
Stephen

JK666

EvaZ,

The thoughts that you are having are probably related to a health issue. I would encourage you to see your doctor immediately and tell him what you are experiencing.

Good luck,

JK

Maddie

I am sorry you are going through this distressing experience. Perhaps it would be a good idea to have some professional help and stop studying for a while. The JW's emphasis on Satan and demonic influence can really affect you if you are sensitive and worry a lot.

Maddie

Help! I am afraid that I will join Satan...

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