God of the OT - not so gentle with gentiles genitals

by Gregor 27 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  cultswatter

  LOL hey gregor that is CUTE!!!
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  Alpaca

  LMAO

  Kinda reminds me of the joke about how to circumcise a whale.....

  Of course, you send down four skin divers.
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  Scully

  I've always wondered why god has a foreskin fetish. Makes mankind so that they are born with them, and then tells mankind to give it back. What exactly does he do with them? Does he put them in a scrap book? Does he sew them together to make wallets that turn into suitcases when you give them a rub? Does he have a Wall of Fame where he keeps them?

  It's weird. That's all I can say about it.
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  Homerovah the Almighty

  I keep mine in the freezer just in case I want to reattach it latter, you never know
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  funkyderek

  Yahweh always liked bloodshed, suffering and sacrifice and had an unhealthy obsession with sex so the fact that he required ritual genital mutilation of eight-day-old boys is not really surprising. What I find strange is that it's so commonly practised in America even by non-Jews and non-Muslims. The reasons given range from the usual canards of health and cleanliness to "his father has it done" or "I don't want him to be the odd one out in the locker room". Personally, I avoid looking at other men's penises when in a locker room, I certainly wouldn't comment on them; and it has never once crossed my mind to be concerned over whether my tackle matches my dad's. So what gives? What's the real reason?
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  BurnTheShips

  So what gives? What's the real reason?

  I am crossposting my response on another thread (and no canards here):

  It has many benefits.

  In it's favor, women seem to prefer it.

  It protects against STDs.

  There is a far lower incidence of penile cancer.

  It seems to be a good adaptation to difficult scenarios:

  Infections, initiated by the aggravation of dirt and sand, are not uncommon under such conditions and have even crippled whole armies, where it is difficult to achieve sanitation during prolonged battle.

  A US Army report by General John Patton stated that in World War II 150,000 soldiers were hospitalized for foreskin problems due to inadequate hygiene, leading to the statements: “Time and money could have been saved had prophylactic circumcision been performed before the men were shipped overseas” and “Because keeping the foreskin clean was very difficult in the field, many soldiers with only a minimal tendency toward phimosis were likely to develop balanoposthitis [432]. Army urologists stated “Had these patients been circumcised before induction [into the Army] this total would have been close to zero”. In the Second World War Australia had to send urologists to circumcise all of its troops fighting in the North African campaign who were not already circumcised [529]. Similarly sand was a problem for uncircumcised men during the Gulf War in Iraq (‘Desert Storm’) in the early 1990s [195, 512].

  It is a right-of-passage in a great many other cultures.

  Burn
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  belbab

  I've always wondered why

  Does it say Samson went out an slayed thirty Philistines and cut off their pecker heads. Was he like the North Vietnamese soldiers, who mutilated their enemies corpses by chopping their appendages off and stuffing them in their mouths?

  Would it not be a lot easier, to persuade thirty of his Philistines football fans who were following him around, to show their allegiance to him by sacrificing some skin to save their hero's skin. Thirty Philistines converted to Judaism or maybe Samsonism.

  Now look at the birth of a Jewish baby boy from the point of view of the baby. He is pushed out of a comfortable environment into the bright light, squawks a little, then things start looking good, a flowing warm, red titty stuffed in his mouth, and his genital area washed and tickled regularly. Paradise for seven days, when all hell suddenly breaks loose on the eighth day. He learned real fast that life was not a bowl of cherries. He learned the hard way what pain was and he was vociferous in letting everyone know he got the lesson.

  Looking at it now from the collective national Jewish standpoint. Samson, all muscle, screwed the Philistines around and figureatively impregnated them with a few new ideas of what it is all about.

  So down to our day, the Jewish nation, know what pain is they experience it on a regular basis, every seven time period. And they are still impregnating humanity, for it is said, Through your seed all the nations will be blessed.

  Anyway, something like that.

  belbab, the peckerhead.
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  Gregor

  So, Belbab, are you a helmet or an ant eater?

  As far as what King David did with all the foreskins, I heard he opened a restaurant chain called "Dave's Fried Clams"
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  belbab

  Gregor

  helmet or an ant eater?

  Nope. Bananna skin on two dried prunes.

  Missed out on the first seven days, back in the hungry thirties.

  Popped up with the sting of salt water in my eyes.

  Maybe Scully can tell you about the salt water treatment for belly swelling.

  Also later in life I figured out why I always puked as a child after I ate oat meal porridge. Seems porridge was associated with the smell of urine. My mother must have been changing my year-and-a-half old younger brother at the only table in the house during breakfast.

  The universe must have told me Live, you little bastard, Live!

  Still alive after seventy-five.

  belbab
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  startingover

  David arose and went, along with his men, and killed two hundred of the Philistines; and David brought their foreskins, which were given in full number to the king, that he might become the king's son-in-law. And Saul gave him his daughter Michal for a wife. - 1 Samuel 18:27

  Imagine that, slicing the skin off the end of a cadavers d**k and putting it in a bag. Wonder who got the glorious job of counting the the freshly cut skins? It would be easy to get 202 or 198, and they were probably all stuck together, real easy to miscount. What if they lost count in the middle somewhere and had to start over at 1. Since they didn't have zip lock bags back then, I doubt they would have stayed moist so by the time they were delivered they might have gotten a little dried out, probably all stuck together at that point making the counting even more difficult.

  Speaking of foreskins, a while back I heard a story originating in a hospital about a baby boy that was born with no eyelids. After some consultation, it was decided that foreskins would make an excellent replacement. The operation was a success, although the kid was always a little cock eyed.