Southern Belle,
Welcome!! I was raised in the organization too. My husband and I were in for 50 years. At the time, we did not have the support that the Internet provides. It was very hard losing all the friends that we had made all those years. Know how hard it must be for you too. I was second generation, my kids were third. We lost our son when we left along with my sister. Our mothers were still in the organization but since they lived with us, they did not disfellowship us. Honey, do not mistake zeal and loyalty to the WT organization as "spirituality" The really spiritual people are the ones who display the "fruitages of the spirit" such as love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, long-suffering and self-control. When they disfellowship you, to my way of seeing it, they do not display these characteristics. Nor do the ones who shun you. I hope you find the support and love you need here on JWD. There are a lot of understanding people here.
Love and hugs,
Gramma Velta