Coming up on one year on the forum..what I've learned/Thanks

by dawg 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • dawg
    dawg

    To the forum, please read even if its long...I want to thank you all

    I remember when I first started posting here, almost one year ago...I had just written letters to evey JW I could find telling them what a bunch of BS the JWs were.... Most wanted to kill me, including my dad, who called me a fornicator, and called all my friends wanting to know what drug I was on...

    I learned that JWs will always try and find wrongs in the character who's showing the inconsistiancies, they never will listen to what you're saying just attack your character. But there have been a few that I've reached; some have even taken a stand with me.

    I also learned that people have different circumstances, that I shouldn't judge those that don't take a stand. I stayed drunk for the first 4 months after I wrote those letters, its hard completely losing family, even though it's mostly been a sham-my relationship with my family I mean, ever since I quit attending meetings, my Dad and Mom still talked to me for the most part, but after my letter writing campaign, they even returned my letters, and refuse to talk.

    I re-read one of the letters I sent last year a few days ago, and I was surprised at the love I displayed in each one, yet some of my letters were very direct, the ones to my PO dad were very loving. I told him that I couldn't live with myself any longer, seeing how this foolish religion had affected so many lives in the family. How people wern't living to their full potiential, and that this religion used love as blackmail to keep folks in line.. how many in the family had contacted me and relaized they were living a lie just to keep their famlies in tact.

    I have to thank people like Challenging, and many others that showed me that I acted like an ass at times and needed to back off, not realizing how much people love their famlies and didn't want to lose them... I'd lived over 17 years without mine so I had become cold... I want to appoligise to you that I offeneded. You all have taught me well, I thank you all even when I've pissed you off and you have me, we still are all learning how to cope with the BS here in our lives.... We really need each other... that's part of what I've learned.

    I want to say Java, and Granny Mouthy, and Granny Velta, have been an inspiriation to me, they are true Christians in my mind, and if I ever go back to a Church one day, I hope that I can be half the Christians you all are... That is the Christ that I love when I read him, I admit that I haven't accepted his divinity, but you people make me love his words all the more, and I can see that living life like you do, and many others on this site, is a good thing, whether I reconise his divinity or not. I love you all even though I've never personally met you....

    I also want to say that Flipper, Void Eater, Crumpet, Hemp, JK666, Oompa, Junction Guy, Roller Dave, and many others, I wished like hell we were neighbors, I'd love to get high with you guys one day and talk a long walk in the mountains somewhere... You guys rock...

    I want to thank you all here on this forum, even those who've mad me mad, and me them... I don't think relationships can be productive if people hold their tounges, you haven't and neither have I...I've learned a lot... I do not plan on ever leaving, I'm just reflecting the hours I've spent here, and thanking you all for teaching me that I'm not always right (I knew that already) and that there are some really smart cookies here on this forum... You guys have really helped me out of this funk, so before one of you pisses me off again and I write something really nasty, thank you all... one year later, I feel OK.... finally I feel OK....Now its my turn to help others the way you've all helped me....

    OK, I have more to say, but I just felt that all of you needed to know that. Guys, thank you, really, thank you all...

  • XOCO
    XOCO

    AWWW DAWG,

    that was very touching and ur forgiven

    XOCO

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Hey Dawg,

    Glad to have you on the board. Everybody brings something to the table, and you have brought a directness and candor that is always interesting to read. I'm glad the board has helped you too. We all can learn from seeing how others cope with the trials of having family in the organization and also the challenges of moving on from it.

  • dawg
    dawg

    All of you guys have been a blessing, I can't believe I left out XOCO and Gopher... you both have heloed me a lot... I feel good mentally right now, and just felt a heart felt thanks was in order.

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow
    including my dad, who called me a fornicator,

    Like that's a bad thing.

    Hey, Dawg. Gosh darn it, you fergot to thank me. For what? I don't know. But you forgot.

    Congratulations! I am very glad you're here. I enjoy your posts immensely.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Who let the Dawg out?

    Great that you have learned so much. While we are not all so straight forward with our families,
    everyone has their method. Yours is more successful than many others. Yours is showing all
    of us that we can move forward, even if it's not as far as totally "outing" ourselves, but still
    forward in our separation from WTS.

    I don't write the letter to my mother because I don't want anything in writing, but otherwise, I have
    told her much. Thanks for the encouragement, Dawg.

    While the JW's at the Hall need to be freed also, I agree that they always look for fault with the
    messenger before they look at the message, so I just can't bother with them. They are on their own.
    Good thought on that.

  • PEC
    PEC

    I always admire, how you always say it how it is. Sometimes I wish I had your balls. I am glad you aren't leaving.

    Philip

  • dawg
    dawg

    Flying High Now, I'm sitting here drinking a $46 dollar bottle of Pinot... my mind is slow... of course I thank you also! I've noticed this year, for the first time, I'm slipping a bit-I'm sorry I forgot your lovely soul. I long for the sunshine, the Summer... please forgive me becasue I'm slow tonight, the winter makes me a little dim.

    I remember when I had a family, we'd sit at the fireplace and Ricky would come over and sing John Denver songs on his guitar, he made me the musician I am today... he was so talented... in 1983, he recieved a kidney transplant, they debated whether he was a cannibal at the KH...thank God I had Ricky and Lamar, and many others now long gone to make my life so much brighter...at 45 people start to pass, and I feel as if my youth has left me... but the heart, it never fails

    It beats out it's rythm, the ones you love no longer brighten the rooms that the heart now resides; but the memories, they still make the heart beat.

    I laugh at times thinking of Ricky, he knew the JWs were shit at the end-yet stayed faithful, but he wouldn't shun me. He used to call me on the phone and make fun of a song I wrote when I was 13, it was about the civil war... he used hyperbolie, and make up words... he'd say, the yankee fired his gun at the rebel, the rebel stuck his sword up the yankes' ass....LOL... my cousin, dead now 3 years, canibal that he was! He was one bright funny man... and Lamar, he was my gay cousin, I loved him dearly... he died of AIDS in 2000... made damn sure I graduated from College before he died. It was like he was waiting... read almost every book ever written, loving man, who never asked for anything in return but love... I gave it because it was so easy to love a man like him... I keep their memories in my heart everyday...

    We are souls, and all of us are special, I've learned that here....and with every human I've ever met.... so sad that this is the task we've been given.... but love will make us stand firm, through the loniness, throught the sorrow, tommorow the sun will shine... I'm in a good place now, thank you all... I see the sunshine, it resides in the souls of us all...... we make a difference by our actions, no matter how insignificant, we make changes never mind the slowness of the process.... I want to thank all the souls that have touched my life...

  • 4mylove
    4mylove

    dawg,

    You are truly amazing. I always enjoy reading your posts. You just say it like it is....

    Here's to another good year!

    4

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow
    Flying High Now, I'm sitting here drinking a $46 dollar bottle of Pinot... my mind is slow... of course I thank you also! I've noticed this year, for the first time, I'm slipping a bit-I'm sorry I forgot your lovely soul. I long for the sunshine, the Summer... please forgive me becasue I'm slow tonight, the winter makes me a little dim.

    I want some. Hey, I have been listening to John Denver's Country Roads and other hits these past three weeks. "Almost heaven. West Virginia." Savannah will do, too.

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