If not for the 'truth' I'd be a serial killer

by coolhandluke 22 Replies latest jw friends

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  coolhandluke

  i have no recollection of this but my mother retells the story. she says that when i was a kid i had an affinity for killing bugs that there was a glee in my face as i was doing it. she bought a cat for me when i was under the age of three. says that i had no concept of right and wrong when it came to others at that age and that i would torture this cat. now thinking about it, i feel bad. i think though that is a learned behavior. there are times i find it personally humorous to think of torture of animals, of humans but then there is a switch inside and then i feel nauseous. rather embarassing to admit in some ways.

  my mom gave the cat away. she was afraid i'd kill it.
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  Crumpet

  she says that when i was a kid i had an affinity for killing bugs that there was a glee in my face as i was doing it.

  When you were a kid - lol! Like you are not a bad bug butcherer now. I've seen you do it. Mom was right.
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  Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit

  That's a good question. I know what my mom was like before JW, depressed, attempted suicide at least twice, had a boyfriend while married to my dad. . .

  I really wanted to be a paramedic when I was 16-17. My parents discouraged this a) it would have cost them money and b) it wasn't pioneering where I could provide eternal health to people. Maybe I would have done this if not for the religion. That's a good question.
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  Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit

  D, my neighbor,

  good to know though, about that serial killer thing. lol.
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  Junction-Guy

  if not for the "Truth", I would have had a happy childhood and a normal well adjusted life, amongst many other things.
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  Layla33

  ^^^^ What he said.
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  sweetface2233

  Well, besides being college educated, having my CPA, and possibly being the Controller of a large company, I would probably be the same person. I may have lost my virginity earlier and not gone on a sexual rampage when I left my ex, as well as had more life experiences by now. However, I would still be kind and caring, funny and intelligent, independent and considerate, and overall, a decent human being. If it weren't for my background, I wouldn't have been able to meet and get to know the people that I've met here that have become important to me. You take the good w/ the bad.
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  wanderlustguy

  There are days where I thank my mother profusely for the man that she taught me to be instead of the man that she could have allowed me to be.

  Maybe your mom deserves more credit than the truth does...I know this is so in my case.

  Of course...the ultimate credit for who you are today lies with you.

  WLG
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  joannadandy

  I've thought about this one a while...

  I can only think of one thing...they made me a reader at the age of 3 and half, four. I guess in some respects they gave me a love of footnotes and even if I realize now it was a pretend kind of scholarship it did excite me. I don't know that I can say for certain I would or wouldn't have developed that love of study with or without the JW's.

  Being JW's probably saved my parents from getting divorced. How they ended up together sometimes I wonder. While I think they love each other now their relationship had it's rocky patches, including the death of a child, that I think would have broken up most couples who were on such different footing early in their relationship. I don't think they've had a miserable married life. I think they make each other happy now - but I sometimes wonder if either of them would have thrown in the towel if not for the JW's...hard to say really if it's doctrinal, or generational.

  For me I can't see it that black and white that my life would have been drastically different had I not been raised a JW. More than likely we would have been raised crazy catholics. I'd maybe have more brothers and sisters...my parents were looking for something spiritual and it just so happens the JW's came knocking first. Hell, I might even be an ex-mormon by now...who can know?

  I guess that's why I find it so surprising so many on this thread know for a fact that if not for this one factor in their lives they'd have happy well adjusted lives. I guess for me my life isn't that simple - and I couldn't tie my happiness to one factor. Too many layers for me to make that call...I think we get a little bit whistful in the "If Only"...for me personally I don't see that kind of gurantee. My mother and I probably still would have fought like cats. She'd still be depressed, which would have translated into my own depression. I still wouldn't have been allowed to do many social things, and probably wouldn't have wanted to...I'm pretty sure with or without the JW's I'd have been a chubby nerdy teen. Hell being a JW ensured I had to at least have some friends if nothing else.
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  Crumpet

  I can only think of one thing...they made me a reader at the age of 3 and half, four. I guess in some respects they gave me a love of footnotes and even if I realize now it was a pretend kind of scholarship it did excite me. I don't know that I can say for certain I would or wouldn't have developed that love of study with or without the JW's.

  Joannadandy - good point. My parents did the same with me and I have retained the love of academia and am doing pretty well in my bachelors. I genuinely love to study, get a kick out of research, love to read and learn.

  When I called my parents in December 2006 to let them know I was not going to be calling them again to have the phone put down and that I loved them and my door would always be open, I thanked for teaching me to read and write as I learned to walk at the same time as I thanked them for making me wear "sensible" shoes because now I have fairly good feet. I also thanked them for teaching me to take care of all the household chores, cook, sew, iron, wire a plug, fit a light bulb and give me all the skills (apart from the social ones) I needed to commence life on my own when I was 16.

  I think my parents basically started preparing me for life without them physically from the day I was born. It was a shame they couldn't prepare me emotionally.