'It just really bothered me this afternoon that we were in the middle of discussing his payment schedule and he threw a few sentences in about how much he still cares about me. It was completely out of place and had no bearing on his loan.'
How much has he paid back, up to now? Any meaningful amount? My guess is that he is accessing your feelings to short circuit your math. If it was little to none, then i would say that getting interest is out of the question. Just hope for the original sum. Do you know any of his friends? Can you talk to them about his money methods?
S
Business v. friendship
by sweetface2233 13 Replies latest social relationships
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Satanus
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sweetface2233
Satanus, that's exactly why I think he made those comments. As if pulling on my heart strings will make me become an idoit and not remember how to add, subtract, and figure percentages. He has paid back quite a bit, but not nearly half, and I have a signed contract that includes his agreement to pay interest. I don't want to have to lawyer up, but if push comes to shove, I have that option. As far as contacting his friends, I am not that type of person. I wouldnt want him contacting my friends to check on my business practices, so I won't be doing that to him. Besides, couldn't that make things worse for me? His friends could tell him that I had been inquiring about him and he could use that against me if this situation ever ended up on "Judge Judy". At that point, all of America and parts of Canada would think that I am a stalker and blah, blah, blah. I have learned to pick and choose my battles w/ him.
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Uzzah
ME? I'd maintain things status quo until the loan is completely paid off. Friendship offers can be reasonably considered at that time. His treatment and general callousness towards you gives you every right to be protective and cautious.
He should be just as interested in restoring the friendship at that point if he is sincere about missing you etc. Never forget the reasons why any relationship cool off. Unless there is clear evidence of changed behaviours is it really reasonable to think that someone has changed?
You don't have to be such a sweet face all the time! MUAH
Uzzah
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JWdaughter
Could you just say: "At one time I really valued our friendship, and after these things happened, I felt like you did not. I am feeling very conflicted by this and I think that once we have finished with the loan (blah blah blah) I would better be able to revisit the question of our former friendship. Right now, its just sitting in the middle of all this like a pile of manure. . ."
Which is really kind of the truth. . .and if all you can say at the end of it is 'you blew it' then that is still on him. And if you want to be friends again (and he still does too) then you won't be questioning his motivations. You might want to leave the whole money thing out of it in the future.
If he calls you a colorful name, then you have your answer. If he is cool with it, you may be getting a different one. But it is always up to you.