Comical Memories While You Were A Witness

by minimus 34 Replies latest jw friends

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  nomoreguilt

  I suffer from a series of rather nervous releases of energy when I fall asleep. Sometimes my body jumps or I may make noises. Usually it doesn't bother ME but it used to bother my EX.

  So, here we are at the circuit assembly. It was our custom to sit in like the second or third row from the platform, dead center stage. This one assembly, we're where we usually are and my 2 sons, 15 and 19, are sitting in the front row with their friends. It's just after lunch and I decide to NOD off. No problem, I"d done it for years.

  So, here I am, all comfortable after lunch, mmmm, next thing I know is I hear this LOUD "NYAAAAAAR"!!!! Shit, WTF was that?? I look around and see my wife horrified, some dubs laughing, and then I hear my sons in front of us say, "OMG that's my dad". YUP! That was me....I never lived it down. My EX never let me fall asleep again. I was always coming home from the assmeblies with bruises in my ribs. ROFLMAO

  Needless to say I don't worry about the bruises anymore, she's my EX!!!!

  NMG
• 

  minimus

  We used to have a horrible garlic breath PO and when I was a teen I used to always carry CERTS or TicTacs. This guy'd talk right in your face. So I decided BEFORE he'd talk to me, I give him the breath mints. He always happily accepted them, put into his pockets and continued talking.
• 

  Honesty

  We used to have a horrible garlic breath PO and when I was a teen I used to always carry CERTS or TicTacs. This guy'd talk right in your face. So I decided BEFORE he'd talk to me, I give him the breath mints. He always happily accepted them, put into his pockets and continued talking. mini

  Was his name Anthony B. ?
• 

  Rooster

  There was this older "Brother" who would piss his pants regularly. He had three sons who were "Elders" that would try to run away from the mess..

  I remember him standing right next to me during the closing song and the piss was just a streaming.
• 

  minimus

  Honesty, Anthony S.....

  Rooster, peeing the pants is sadly funny.

  We had an elder who famously forgot his wife's name while conducting the WT. She wasn't too happy. But I guess he must've forgotten his last name too!
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  Dismembered

  One time we had Nick Abrahamson as a our "Guest Speaker" He was on watchtowers writng staff. Anyway he was giving us a history lesson with all of us on the edge of our seats, when a mentally challenged "sister" ( who had no business being at those meetings, she was to far gone) gets up and starts banging on the ladies room door and screams out "What the hell is going on in there".

  Nicks expression was priceless, and he stopped talking dead in his tracks.

  Dismembered
• 

  hillbilly

  I let out a killer belch from hell during a Sunday meeting... sitting about row 2. A heavy Pioneer sister who always gave me a hard time was behind me.

  I turned and gave her the "look"... the rest of the hall bought it. A collective gasp low chuckle was heard.

  She turned as red as a Christmas bow.............. Sorry, Susan..ya had it coming.

  ~Hill
• 

  minimus

  Funny, Dis!

  One time that same old brother from my Hall called me in the men's room with great urgency and said, " You're an elder...WHAT DOYA THINK ABOUT THATTT?" He was pointing to a huge turd left in the toilet. I said, "It's very big" and walked out shaking my head.
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  jambon1

  One older brother would show up at the Thursday meeting & without fail, every time he would dump his load in the toilet before the meeting. It totally stank the back area out. For some reason this always tickled me.
• 

  minimus

  We had this very backward pioneer and everytime it would lightly rain or sprinkle, he would run in the street from house to house. When my brother asked him why he was running, his answer was so that he didn't get wet.