Otherwise entitled: Smoking - A Cautionary Tale
I have a gift, a talent for getting myself locked into or out of places. Ever since I was small I have managed to get myself locked in most host's lavatories and unable to quite mistress the ability to unlock the door.
Today I surpassed myself. Having spent a long morning studying and working I decided to take a cigarette break. I went to empty my bin at the same time. Mind on other things I left my flat to dump the trash in the communal garbage room attached the building I live in. When I returned I realised that I must have put a fresh pack of Marlborough's in the bin as well. So wedging my own door open with a shoe I went into the garbage room to find my trash and retrieve said cigarettes. And after some rummaging they were there, still in their cellophane wrap. I turned to open the door which links the trash room to he rest of my complex and realised pretty swiftly that I was locked in this tiny dark room.
There is a six foot drop to the bin (like those ones you see in CSI which they usually find corpses in) over a brick wall. and then after that two doors onto the outside. I didn't much fancy my chances of the drop since last time I dropped a few inches I snapped my leg and ankle bones in three places so I thought, well someone is bound to come by eventually. For sure. You'd think.
I waited and I waited, becoming increasingly aware of the thick weave of blackened cobwebs above my head and the dire stench of rubbish beneath my nose. I also was very aware that I was not my most becomingly dressed. I tried not to think about spiders. Time ticked by slowly and I started to be very annoyed with myself.
All this for a packet of cigarettes! And I don't even have a light on me to pass the time.
Saturday afternoon and no one around, I realised I could be there all night. I thought about yelling help but it just seemed a bit melodramatic plus I was embarrassed and not very becomingly dressed in my pyjamas. So I decided that I'd have to just climb over the wall and do my best to lower myself off the edge of the bin without breaking anything. I also feared that the bin wouldnt take my not unsubstantial weight and my worst case scenario was getting on to the edge of the bin and it falling over, tumbling me out onto the pavement covered into other people's left over take-aways.
Luckily the bin did take my weight and I escaped with only light grazes and bruises and a pulled shoulder muscle from gingerly lowering myself to the ground. And fortunately my neighbour was at home and buzzed me into the main building on condition I lent him some dirty movies. So I suspect I'll never see them again.
So what talents for trouble do you have? Accidents or mishaps that you seem to have with unaccountably rare frequency?