lenny I am so sorry for the loss of your father. the heartache you feel with the loss of your parents is something that is hard at the best of times but especialy for you it is more poignant.
My uncle (non JW) died last year but I had not seen him for many years. We never really had a lot of contact with my mums family over the years as they were all non JW's and apparently you know how it it goes always seemed to be too busy in the "truth" to make any time to spend with them.
Anyway my mum(JW) died a couple of years ago so when my uncle died I was the only non JW member left and I felt I had to build bridges and meet up with my aunts/uncles and cousins and try and make ammends for the lost years.
What a fantastic welcome we got they never held any grudges re the fact that this was the first time I had had contact with them in donkey years. Had not seen my cousins in 38 years and just seen my aunt/uncle at the odd funeral over the years. it was as if the years had just rolled away, but duing the day and seeing how the family was made me reflect on the time we had missed with this side of my family and I felt really sad.
At least i have discovered that "worldly " people are a damn sight more forgiving than so called spiritual ones.