Joelbear,
Good for you! I don't "get over" friendships, either! I would welcome back into my life most any JW with whom I have had contact (there were just a teeny few who creeped me out, so perhaps not them).
1) It will make the wrongdoer think about their course of life and help them to come back to "the truth".
This is where the Watch Tower Society is so misguided. A person who has sat in front of a judicial committee for 2 or more times has already had occasion to think about his/her 'course of life'. The elders who sit on said committee are ill-equipped to help them see the error of their ways (more so than I had realized before reading ex-elder experiences here and portions of the 'Flock' book).
-- If the wrongdoer expresses repentance and it is not accepted and they are DF'd, that will not 'help them to come back to "the truth".'
-- If the wrongdoer has not been led to repentance during the three on one sessions with the elders when discussing the situation, being adrift with no one to speak to about spiritual matters (especially their closest friends and relatives) will not 'help them come back to "the truth"' even if the person later feels remorse.
-- If the 'wrongdoer' is just someone bucking the system or exposing the Society's hypocrisy, shunning them will not 'help them come back to "the truth".' (But it will punish the shunnee and effectively fence them and their ideas, attitude or facts, out of the congregation.)
2) It will protect your faith in Jehovah and will keep you from being stumbled.
-- See my last point above.
-- "la la la...." is NOT a good way to be protecting one's faith.
One's faith in Jehovah should be PERSONAL and not dependent on anybody else's opinions, rather it should WITHSTAND anybody else's opinions. Faith is a conscious decision to believe in something not always evident. (Even Hebrews 11:1 says it's "the assured expectation of things hoped for...")
-- Personally, I was stumbled more by the elders' unloving, cold attitude toward a DF'd sister facing a life-threatening illness who had two minor children (one of whom was trying very hard to stay 'regular' all on her own), than I would have been by any sin short of murder that she committed. These men are supposed to be LOVING SHEPHERDS!!!! Sometimes I wonder how they sleep at night knowing that Jehovah is going to 'judge them with the same measuring rod that they judge others' (paraphrased).
And, of course, the lack of love did nothing to 'help [the DF'd sister] come back to "the truth".'
As for your two other reasons, joelbear?
1) Fear of being shunned themselves for associating with you
There were very few people I would have risked my congregational standing for during all the years I was associated with the "Friends".
That's because I had no relatives in (at least locally) and only TWO true friends. The rest were 'brothers and sisters' but really only 'acquaintances' or 'co-workers.' I don't think this is unusual.
2) To punish you for not thinking or being like them anymore. Kind of a revenge thing. You hurt them by disagreeing with them or by living your life the way you want to and this is a very effective way of getting back at you.
Petty, but true. The underlying reason for the punishment/revenge being that they were never really your TRUE 'Friends' to begin with!
Alternatively, many would like to be as strong or courageous as the one who is now free of WT control, so there is resentment that you are gone and they are still in lock-step with an organization that constantly tells them they are not good enough. By making you small, they make themselves big. Or, at least it feels that way to them...
If the Society itself can't bully you into conformity, they will at least individually beat you up emotionally if they can.
outnfree
Par dessus toutes choses, soyez bons. La bonte est ce qui ressemble le plus a Dieu et ce qui desarme le plus les hommes -- Lacordaire
