joke time

by BATHORY 12 Replies latest social humour

• 

  4horsemen

  A joke for Englishman...

  A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender walks over and says, "you know we have a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "Really? You have a drink named Fred?"
• 

  Tatiana

  For Cowboy...

  Two cowboy dudes were drinking in a bar & talking about sex.

  The 1st cowboy says he likes to do it rodeo style.

  The 2nd cowboy asks how do you do it rodeo style?

  The 1st cowboy explains, "Get her in bed on all fours, doggie style & whisper in her ear, "Your sister likes it this way too." Then try to hold on for 8 seconds.

  For LDH....
  Last Confession

  Jake was on his deathbed. His wife, Susan, was maintaining a vigil by his side.
  As she held his fragile hand, tears ran down her face. Her praying roused him
  from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly.

  "My darling Susan," he whispered. "Hush, my love," she said.

  "Rest. Shhh. Don't talk." He was insistent.

  "Susan," he said in his tired voice. "I have something I must confess to you."

  "There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Susan. "Everything's all right,
  go to sleep."

  "No, no. I must die in peace, Susan. I slept with your sister, your best friend,
  and your mother."

  "I know," she replied. "That's why I poisoned you."

  For Xena......
  What's Your Name?
  A guy walked into a pub and immediately noticed a young lady at the bar on her own. After a couple of drinks he decided to offer her a drink and make small talk. She accepted.

  "What's your name?" he asked her.

  "Carmen," she replied.

  "That's a nice name. Did your mother or father name you that?"

  "Neither. I changed my name when I was eighteen from Sharon to Carmen."

  "Why did you do that?" he asked.

  "Well," she explained, "I like men and I like cars, so that is how I got my name. What's your name?"

  "Beerpussy," the man replied.

  April

  "Love never dies." Voivodul Vlad Draculea (from Bram Stoker's Dracula-1992)
• 

  Englishman

  Bathory,

  I told your joke about the 2 Irishmen whilst I was having a pint or 2.

  Everyone was in hysterics.................!

  Englishman.

  Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....