I will tell you to stay as far away as possible. She still continues to participate in the religion. Eventually I'm pretty sure she will tell someone in the religion that she is dating or speaking to a non-believer which some how the elders will find out in turn will cause her to start telling you to join the religion, that is how it all begins, most of us in here already know how this is going to play out. Ask yourself if you really believe she won't try to change your ways. Correct me if I'm wrong but the fact that you are asking us certain things makes me believe that you know deep down inside that she will change. Don't put yourself or your kids through that; the heartache is not worth it. Can you ask her why she was disfellowhipped, she seems unstable form certain things you told us. If she is unstable in certain things what makes you think she could handle a seroius relationship? If I were you I would stay away, it may not be what you wanted to hear but a broken heart is worse....
Hardcore evangelical intellectual just fell for an enlightened JW girl
by Stuartmc 51 Replies latest social relationships
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aquamarine
I apologize, I didn't see your new post. I think we may be able to help her, It seems that she is frustrated with the religion. If you feel that you still want to be with her then it's your decision I hope everything works out, I hope she doesn't turn her back on you and I'm sorry she was in abusive relationship. Did you ever tell her about the website?
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Stuartmc
Hi there Aquamarine. My JW gal is visiting her family in Florida right now. Her family wants her to move there with her kids, but she really doesn't want to because she knows that they will try to control too much of her life. We've been talking and text messaging and I told her about this site and that I am getting some good insights here. When she returns home this weekend, she is planning on bringing her kids up for a day with me at the local ski area. I'll see how that goes and how many questions the kids have for me. It will be interesting to see how the kids react to a non-JW man who is friends with mom.
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hillbilly
If she really invests in all meetings... take a long look and be prepared to run.
~Hill
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OUTLAW
..An enlightened JW girl??..An enlightened JW,is an EX-JW.......You`ve found a Princess,that doesn`t want to be saved from her Cult.....Try and you will pay dearly..........
...OUTLAW -
poppers
Get her on JWD to loosen her grip on dubdum. If she can free herself from whatever delusions she has I think you've got a better chance at a solid relationship without the contaminating influence of dub thinking and interference. If she remains tied to it you're in for trouble based on what I've learned from reading JWD.
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Sirona
There are two issues here: Will she leave the JWs? and, If she leaves the JWs, will she become a born-again Christian?
If she doesn't leave the JWs, I'd say the relationship is doomed 100%. Sorry but that is my opinion. My mother is JW and my step father is not. My mother is a "liberal" JW but they have had lots of problems despite this.
If she does leave the JWs, you are already mapping out for her a new religion. That isn't fair in my opinion. She should be able to leave the JWs and be religion free if she so wishes, without any pressure from you.
Also, if she chooses to not become born again, how would you feel?
SIrona
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Sirona
There are two issues here: Will she leave the JWs? and, If she leaves the JWs, will she become a born-again Christian?
If she doesn't leave the JWs, I'd say the relationship is doomed 100%. Sorry but that is my opinion. My mother is JW and my step father is not. My mother is a "liberal" JW but they have had lots of problems despite this.
If she does leave the JWs, you are already mapping out for her a new religion. That isn't fair in my opinion. She should be able to leave the JWs and be religion free if she so wishes, without any pressure from you.
Also, if she chooses to not become born again, how would you feel?
SIrona
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primitivegenius
ok so you like the gal......... she isnt hard core or she wouldnt even be talking to you beyond witnessing to you or business dealings....... ok.
first things first.... you of course are not looking to score...... your looking for someone to be with long term(forever?) so that changes your approach... and that is, in my personal experience and opinion the ONLY way this will EVER POSSIBLY work out.
im gonna get a tad negative...... imageine the worst..... you marry her and there happens to be a child or children soon involved. she is gonna insist if she belives its the "truth" that her children are raised jw or they will die at armageddon. at this point your screwed, so moving to positive things.......... how to keep that from happening.
you are gonna hafta be one thousand percent sure of her before you move to the part of a relationship that would even consider children....... honestly it would be a true nightmare to have children in that cult. can i get an AMEN.
so you will need to try and show her the evil underbelly of this cult ahead of time but of course this is NOT an easy task. is your church a top notch church? do you guys do serious minestry to anyone in the area and hopefully internationally? cause dubs claim to have the lock down on all international things. they dont acknowledge the body of christs work world wide and claim to be the only world wide organization.
if your church is up to snuff and you can show her the minestrys and good that comes from it...... try to get her to attend with you...... might be a while before you can get her to the point of attending cause they belive that all other churches dont have anything from jehovah...... she tho being more open minded might actually be open to the experience and that will go along way. seeing brothers and sisters struggleing with there problems and asking the church to pray for them instead of being sumarily disfellowshiped and kicked out with the dogs.
get her online......... the jws teach its the devils tool and evil because it opens so many eyes to what they are really about. read crisis of conscience and see if you can get her to.
brother i am gonna say that it will take you along time to confirm all of this.......... but you have got to be sure that she does not belive its the truth any more or its a hopeless situation. she can promise you the moon right now but bring in children and family pressure and somehow she can revert to her old ways in a heart beat.
so look at her like that......... dont fall head over heels cause you got long term issues to work out first..... but hey i say go for it..... if you can show her your church and win her over and prove that the jws are not the only true religion....... or even a religion at all, then you could have a good thing. just dont jump the gun or rush things.
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aquamarine
Stuartmc depending on the her kids age and how they interact with you, you may have a hard time dealing with them as far as them accepting you. I just have a question based on what you said previously that you've been preaching to her about your religion; are you expecting her to join your religion? I hope your're not because I don't think that's such a great idea for the simple fact that she had to deal with so much because of the JW cult. I don't think is fair as Sirona stated. Anyways, I hope everything goes well this weekend with you and her and her kids.
...OUTLAW