SO proud... Wife brought COC as reading material on a road trip...

by Robert7 15 Replies latest jw friends

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  Robert7

  We had a little family roadtrip last weekend, and my wife brought COC to read in the car! She read quite a bit of it...
  
  What was great is she really sees it as not the truth. Hard part for her is ties with close friends. She has played out different scenarios in her head, from DA ourselves, to just fading, to moving out of the city. She's making plans to diminish her service time, and work towards a fade...
  
  What's interesting what motivated her, and her reactions:
  - She is 'all or nothing'. Either be in, and participate including Service, or completely get out. I personally am ok with fading.
  - The way the removal and DF of Franz was handeled was what really convinced her it's not the truth. She didn't care too much of the 1914/1975 failed prophecies and hypocracies. I was the opposite. I didn't care as much of the handling of Franz, it was the failed prophecies and hypocracies that did it for me.
  - Knowing this, she feels like she needs to tell others, although she's keeping hush. I personally don't mind keeping low and just fading without getting DFd for apostacy.
  
  I guess there are different ways an open and thinking mind can determine it's not the truth, and people obviously react different ways! This has been some great progress!
  
  Ironically, of all things, it's the personal friendships that keeps us 'in' (for now at least). We'll see how it goes...
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  cognac

  Wow, that is so awesome!!!
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  seek2find

  I'm so glad your wife read the book. My wife destroyed my copy. Burning it piece by piece in the barbecue grill. Among the things that got me in the book was the revelation that the work in Mexico was being restricted for years not due to government persecution as I had been led to believe. But it was really that the organization had voluntarily registered as a cultural organization. They could have had full freedom all along if they had registered as a religion and put property ownership aside. It seems to be the same type of mentality that led to joining the UN as an NGO. seek2find
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  Gopher

  Seek2,

  That's very disturbing that your wife burned your book. Does she realize that's exactly what Nazi authorities did in the 1930's?

  Don't join the book burners. Do not think you are going to conceal thoughts by concealing evidence that they ever existed. - Dwight Eisenhower, American general and 34th president of the USA
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  alanv

  You're right Robert you should both be proud of each other for firstly having the courage to read Ray Franz book and secondly realizing that you can no longer live a lie. Many, many people have read COC and I have not heard any negative comments about it from anybody that has an open mind. I faded about 12 years ago with just a little knowledge about what the society gets up to on the quiet. These days there is so much more info. available about them it's just a matter of whether you have the strength to leave your so called friends behind. If they are real friends they will accept that you see things different to them. Would definitely reccommend fading though much less traumatic for you both.
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  StAnn

  I am so happy for you! I was stunned by COC and I read it well after I left the "truth." What I will advise is, whatever you decide, decide it together. You will need each other's support. Either fade together or DA together.
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  memario

  That is great to hear.

  she feels like she needs to tell others, although she's keeping hush.

  I too find it hard to keep it in. Funny, I didn't like preaching much, but telling someone now that its all crap is waaaaay easier. I have to bite my tounge though to keep the fade alive. I'm just now finishing the chapter on the generations. It started out to be boring at first but it started to get interesting by the end of it.

  mem
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  seek2find

  Gopher, That was over 10 years ago now. I'm still trying to get through to her. Some times I think it's going OK, then she shuts me out and refuses to talk. She's definitely loyal, but is she loyal to the right authority???? seek2find P.S. I love her anyway. That's why I'm still "In" after all these years. I hope and pray she will respond in time.
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  Robert7

  cognac: you seem to be going thru exactly what I am going thru! So thanks for the encouragement, and best wishes to you!
  
  seek2find: She actually found my -hidden- copy of COC. So actually I was worried about what she would think. Fortunately in my case curiosity got a hold of her and she read it.
  
  alanv: I can't imagine trying to leave the borg even 15 years ago when information was hidden. Fading is my preferred approach... now I'm working on finding real friends who don't care of our faith.
  
  StAnn: I absolutely believe in being united. I am attending Sundays just to support her. I'll be supportive whatever she decides, but I don't want religion to be a dividing factor in the family...
  
  Memario: I agree that telling people, and researching, of the this false-truth is way better than preaching. I find it very intriguing to read books on different religious subjects now.
  
  seek2find: You are great to stand by your wife all these years. I know it's a tough battle, one that may never be won, depending on the person. Best wishes!
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  MissingLink

  Thats awesome! My wife stole my copy of CoC and read it straight thru. Shes much more of a reader than me. I got it back and am on page 300 now. It made me sick at first thinking that I was going thru this transition alone. Its such a relief to have your spouse's support. Like yourself, we're not exactly on the same page. But keeping the communication going is very helpful.