Give him he addresses of websites such as this and jwfacts, etc. so that he can get a balanced view of 'Jehover's Ogasmnation' and can make an informed choice in the event he decides 'Jehover's Ogasmnation' is da troof and he wants to slip a JW thinkin' cap on his head.
This really sucks Living a double life for the sake of family...
by tooktheredpill 22 Replies latest jw friends
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lesterd
Careful. It might be a trap to catch you in your disbelief
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Nellie
RedPill & Scotts -
I was once that wife with the fading husband. Other than saying to me, over and over, it's only an organization; my husband also couldn't bring himself to trashing the organization to me. I was worried about him (and honestly about us) as I watched him move further and further away from the "truth." Although I always knew he loved me, I worried that w/o the rules of the organization, he might think about cheating or leaving me. I can honestly say that that's what my worst fear was. Everyone's road is different. My advice to you is simple - YOU MUST MAKE SURE SHE IS SECURE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP!! She'll fight you tooth and nail to stay in if she thinks she's losing you!!! She'll run to the elders for help as she sees you pulling away. Now is the time to reassure her! If she's secure, she'll be able to hear you . . . eventually. Even if she doesn't agree, she'll be able to hear you.
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tooktheredpill
Nellie: Thanks a lot for your suggestion.
I'm really working hard to reassure my love to my wife everyday. Every time we talk, I assure her that I love her and that I love God. And that my love for her does not have to be affected by my believe in a man's organization.
Scotsman: I sent you a PM. Thanks for sharing your experience and suggestions. I really appreciate that.
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BurnTheShips
I think you are handling things the right way, Took. I had to reassure my wife that my love for her had nothing to do with the Tower. She thought, somewhat subconciously, that my desire to leave also meant leaving her. Or that I would become a godless immoral adulterer. There is a real fear sometimes about living outside the cage.
Burn
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OnTheWayOut
My wife wants me to start conducting a bible study with the husband of the lady that is studying with my wife.
You do have to proceed with caution, but perhaps this chap can help you with
your wife and help himself with his wife. If your wife and his wife are thinking JW's
have the truth, you can awaken him. Let him become your ally.Although I oversimplify how to do it, you basically say: Jehovah's Witnesses are
cautioned not to Google "Jehovah's Witnesses" because they are to totally trust
the organization to tell them everything they need to know. I have looked myself.
There are sites like jwfacts.com and freeminds.org that seem pretty well-researched.
But only a person who has not been baptized should be looking at these, and then
they should compare that with what the Witnesses say. -
tooktheredpill
She thought, somewhat subconciously, that my desire to leave also meant leaving her. Or that I would become a godless immoral adulterer.
Burn: I believe that my wife can be thinking similarly. On the other hand, I have good moral principles, and I try to behave correctly even with no JW's around. And I don't have plans of stop believing in God.
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outofthebox
Took,
Our friends here have hit the nail: That's the most important thing is love. If you show love to your wife she may feel more attached to you and less to the bOrg.
After all, Jesus said it: All you need is to love God and your fellow human.
luv ya
-ootb
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tooktheredpill
OOTB: Thanks man. You're like a brother to me, and I really appreciate your comments.
Un abrazo!
TTRP
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Open mind
I feel your pain TTRP. If that happened to me I think I'd have to go through the motions of conducting the BS for a few reasons:
1. To keep your wife assured and happy for now.
2. You can help this man (and hopefully his wife) avoid all the heartache of JWism.
3. Maybe, his wife will end up getting through to your wife.
Be very careful how you proceed though.
Here's another idea of how to approach it. First off, make sure you go by yourself for the study. Before you start, ask him:
TTRP: "So do you have any questions about JWs? Have you heard anything about JWs that you find unusual?"
Student: "Well, yes. I've heard that you don't take blood." (or any of dozens of other possible issues.)
If he doesn't have any questions, you might even bring up something like Blood or DFing to him. Then do a very cursory, non-convincing summary of the WT stand, but also show him what other sides of the debate have to say. Finish off by saying that the reason JWs are willing to accept this teaching is that they feel they are the only "true religion" on earth. Even if something is hard to accept, they feel that if the WT says it, it must be right.
Hopefully, if he's got any sense, alarm bells will start to go off (at least internally) and he'll share his doubts with his wife.
One last thing:
Yes, your/my situation sucks.
Hang in there hermano.
OM