I finally Left! (page 3)

Thank you for the welcome from so many people, I appreciate it. I have to alter what I first wrote a little. It's actually been more like 12 months since my last meeting, not 2 months. But things have been difficult to say the least. I really didn't expect such emotional challenges to assimilating to the "world". Actually, I am in therapy at the moment and taking an anti depressent, which has helped a lot. Anyway, I left the "truth" and although my exwife stated she'd be okay with me not attending meetings, the pull to get away from the entire thing, even indirectly by having a JW wife, led me to leave. At one time I was a pioneer and a servent. I gave public talks and so forth. When I was very young I always felt like something was wrong. I was a boy during the early 1980's, a time period I have termed the "Dark Ages" of the JW'S and so my family was intensely afraid of apostates and all of that stuff. In fact, one of my father's best friends became an apostate and my father took it really heard, which meant more repression in the household. In the meantime a lot of secrets had to be kept to maintain my father's reputation as an elder. It was very difficult. Today, all of my immediate family is still deeply involved in the organization.

As a teenager I had to use an incredible amount of will to go to college and become educated and that's where the ifrst doubts really set in. I became very interested in politics, particuarly far left wing radical politics that included athism in its agenda. So, I gravitated to all athiest reading, philosophical or scientific. I stayed in the truth anyway and married a witness. I think the pressure to marry was strong for various reasons. I had some marital issues, but what was really bothering me was sitting at the meetings and hearing the same garbage over and over again. My father had a severe nervous breakdown, but did not seek any professional help. In our family, I can confidently say it was because of the religion that he did not. So, as he deteriorated and our family finances depleted, he was still an elder, but not a very reliable father. It bothers me a lot to this day because he is still an elder.

So, to make a long story short I blame, many many problems in my life and my family's lives on the religion and its repressive, illogical policies. And even if a policy is not written, the pressure to conform to the unwritten rules, etc. is immense. I am a fairly successful person and am involved in a wonderful relationship. The tough part is assimilating. I was having a very hard time celebrating holidays, associating with a normal family, and many other things. I am doing much better now that have i been in therapy to "deprogram" all the jw stuff from my head.

Thanks for the support. I plan on being a regular reader of this website.

The Doc

ibme

Welcome

Meeting Junkie No More

Doc Bob:

"illogical policies" - you are so right with that. They can be blamed for so much that is wrong with this organization and the religion's rotten undercurrent that is in the process of not letting itself be suppressed for very much longer. The more of us that get out from under that spell the better. For some of us, it is later in life, but I think the 'churn' mentioned in the TIME story (another thread) is really starting to take on a life of its own. I know it takes a lot to tell your story and just the fact of your being able to tell it is very encouraging. Unfortunately, I am not at that point yet myself. I know it is very difficult to 'deprogram' and it takes a while. Thank you for sharing.

I finally Left!

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The Doc 58

ibme

Meeting Junkie No More

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