by sacolton 16 Replies latest jw friends
Not me personally, but my Brother-in-law was to give a talk and wasn't completely prepared. His talk wasn't long enough.
The elder took him to the back room and belittled him to the point where he cried. I guess this is what they mean by
"build your Brothers up" or something. Nice fellowship!
Anyone have a story to share?
Yep, on a so called "Shepherding" visit. It was a very stressful time in my life, both my parents had some serious illnesses, I was working a stressful job, things were tense between hubby and I - I was just stretched to thin and something had to give and the first thing to go was the meetings. (At this point I was not considered "inactive", attended what meetings I could and went in service when I could.)
This so called brother thought the loving thing to do was tell my parents I couldn't be of assistance to them on meeting nights or Sunday morning or Saturday morning. That when my mother would call and tell me she needed me that I was supposed to tell her that meetings and service came first, then I'd be able to help her. Also, that if hubby and I didn't start going back to the meetings regularly, we'd end up divorced. I couldn't handle hearing all that and started to cry. How do you tell your parents something like that? How do you handle hearing that you are headed for divorce when things are already dicey in your marriage and you are trying everything to hold it together?
Actually after that is when I really stopped going to the meetings - I just couldn't sit there and see this brother (who was the PO) on the platform all the time without remembering those harsh words. I guess I should really thank him for helping me to leave the religion.
BB
Wow, BB ... that was pretty heartless of the PO to give you such a guilt-trip like that. It reminds me of everytime my wife and I
would take a small break from the meetings, but when we returned - without hesitation - one of the Elders would just have to make
some small comment, "Hey, we missed you last week!" (Yeah, right!) or something to that effect. I hated having to go up to our
Bible Study elder to get a new Kingdom Ministry after we hadn't gone in several weeks ... he would really lay it on thick.
Sorry to hear about your situation. I think from one human-being to another it is understanding to take care of your parents when
in need. I would have done the same thing as you.
I think from one human-being to another it is understanding to take care of your parents when
in need. I would have done the same thing as you.
Thanks sacolton, I feel the same way, it everybody I tell that story too says the same thing. It's all about the numbers and filling the seats at the KH, not about love or caring for others. My father died less than two years after that and I don't regret one minute I spent with him instead of at the KH, and wish I could have spent more time with him.
BB
bttt
I was fading away. I was fading because of the gossip and lies against me. I was home and there was a knock on the door. I always look through the peep hole to see who is there. My mom who was visiting me at the time open up the door and let the PO and some guy in his late 20s in to my living room. They were making a shepherding call saying I have to go back to the meetings ETC. Then this young guy started to be very cold and direct with me asking me when was the last time I went to the KH. You have to go to the meetings! Just then my mom broke down in tears saying my son never done anything wrong they lied ETC. I was pissed I told them to leave, your upsetting my mom. That was over 10 years ago they never came back!
Not me, my sister tho. The service overlord kept nagging us to go with him in the field. well, my dad had a bad heart and was disabled, my mom was disabled from a work injury, me and my sibs were ok, but I had just had a bad back injury so we more or less begged off. He kept nagging and the more you nag my family, the more we ignore you.....So when we finally told him how sick or injured we were he said that we were a regular JOB FAMILY. My sis went home and cried.....I just called him eliphaz.
My father in law was giving his FIRST student talk, 30+ years ago. He was belittled right from the stage. He never went back.
My husband had stopped coming to meetings with us. Every time I went to meeting, by myself with two kids, they would ask about him. So I slowed down too. When they called me back I told them they had forgotten me and I was the one trying. They asked what they could do. I told them to leave me be. I didn't know what my husband was doing, try to call him.
momz
Last year, there was a young brother, early thirties, that was involved in an accident on his job and was in a coma for about a month. One elder was asked when he would go visit him and he said...."he's not gonna notice i'm there, besides....he doesn't go to meetings anyways." I couldn't believe what I was hearing, and it made sister that heard this cry. Unfortunately that brother died soon after that. This is love overflowing??
Yes when I think back there were times when they made me cry. I cried when I was trying to get reinstated and was treated like the worse thing on the planet for months. I cried when my son shunned me and wouldn't answer my letters. I cried when I found out it was a cult and everything I believed was a lie.
Maddie
