Silentlamb needs to vent!

by feenx 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • feenx
    feenx

    lesterid: how can i forgive him? i'm asking for what you mean by that, i dont want it to sound like i'm criticizing. how can you forgive someone who never even awknowledges what they've done wrong? LET ALONE actually ask for forgiveness? What's there to forgive? He fu*ked up? Big woop. i screw up all the time, but I'm man enough to say, "yeah, i screwed up. I'm sorry." There's a difference, in my mind, between understanding a lapse in judgement, and making a conscious decision to hurt a child who should be the epitimomy of a loved one. If he showed any remorse, well than this would be a different conversation.

    I hope he is miserable. He should be. I hope he is haunted every night he tries to sleep in his bed, just like me. I think that's only just. There are those who would say he deserves to die. Part of me agrees. But really...death is too easy. I saw what my mom went thru when she tried to kill herself, several times. It's not worth it. period. I only wish there was an actual hell...So I would know that at SOME point, he'd get what he deserves. Destroying a family, destroying lives, literally robbing all of his family from their childhood...there is no forgiveness for that.

    I'm sure he's a victim himself. But that doesnt' justify anything. Just like if I did the same thing, I wouldn't be asking for any forgiveness. And if I did...well then F*CK. I'd STILL be a better man, because at least I'd be making an effort, admitting what I did. Denial is the definition of a slippery slope.

    I can't wait until he finally falls.

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    feenx - you do have the right to vent, you do have the right to be angry, you are a surviver and more - I'm blown away by your honesty. Have you personally confronted your grandfather in your adult years about the abuse? Telling him what he did to you - if he denies it that is his burdon to bare, but to let him know you know and what you think about it - it may help towards more healing?

    NMG - some memories are so repressed, perhaps hypnotherapy would work in this case?

  • nomoreguilt
    nomoreguilt

    Feenx, Voideater, Loubelle..........I really do appreciate all of your concern and the advice that you have given me here. It's still quite early in the day and I just looked at your responses here.

    I'll pm each of you later today with my individual thoughts on your posts.

    Thank you again

    NMG

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