Do the right thing

coolhandluke

I have a story for you. It relates to being an ex-JW but you don't get that till the end unlessin of course you are a smart cookie and can figure it out before then.

I love playing cards. I play a few times a week. Thursday is my favorite day. It's the day I go to my home bar, have a good cigar and celebrate the fact that I have not strangled anyone this week. I play cards there at 9 p.m. almost without fail. One of the dealers there is someone who for better or worse I've come to know. I invited her to share sushi day with me a month or two ago. Sushi day is also a celebration of the fact that no one has died by my hand. She ruined sushi day. She treated a mock dateish kind of affair like an interview and believe me, she didn't get the job. She spent a lot of it talking about her ex-boyfriend 8 months removed and the confusion that that has brought to her. Along with that a few sordid tales of drug induced stupidity. Fine. Dandy

This girl and I share a love of movies. A few weeks ago I was at the card table talking about how excited I was because during Oscar season there are way more movies available to illegally download in DVD format that are still in theaters. I had just gotten No Country For Old Men. For some unknown reason I invited her over. Perhaps because she's easy on the eyes. Perhaps I'm passed the phase where I'd try to impress her or be nervous to be around her. Or perhaps because I love talking about the movie when its over as much as I love watching it. She. Talked. Through. The. Whole. Thing...about NOTHING. I wanted gag her with that pair of dirty drawers from my morning run.

Fast forward through a few flakish exchanges, the fact that she asked me to help her find a job and her general inability to communicate unless there is something to be gained from the communication and you will arrive at my current state of ambivalence to anything having to do with her.

Last night was poker. She got completely shit faced. Not my business. Don't get involved with grown folks business Dominick. The bar was closing and the vultures were circling. Not my business. Don't get involved with drunk, horny, grown folks business Dominick. I could hear my mom in the back of my head. When she's in there, my mom makes a dull thumping sound. It's really quite annoying. So I get involved in grown folks business. I tell her she can sleep on my couch. I drive her car back to my apartment which is about 2 minutes away. She makes some comment about me not being a dick about being nice to her. I turn around, hold out her keys and said, "Happy DUI." She apologizes, laughs and we continue on to my apartment.

"Got anything to eat?"

'Raisin Bran, salmon, broccoli, roma tomatoes, water, gatorade, milk, tea.'

"None of that really goes together"

I'm exasperated and irritable at this point. I throw some stuff together and come out with a masterpiece. Why? Cuz I'm bomb ass cook and unfortunately a Cancer. It's how I am. I guess it has less to do with her and more to do with me. I make this olive oil that has had a medley of herbs infused into it over the past 6 months. I start with that, some green onions, garlic, deglaze with balsamic vinegar, add fresh roma tomatoes, some grilled salmon, some half and half, season, spice... brilliant. I feed her, get her some gatorade, make a bed on my couch, clean my dishes, brush my teeth, lock my bedroom door and I go to sleep.

This morning she's still a bit drunkish, still asleep on the couch. I take a shower, get dressed for work and wake her. She drives me back to my car and is really not super appreciative.

Here is my question: How often does someone you meet in a bar take this good of care of you and not try to sleep with you (in this case out of personality repulsion)?

The JW part factors in because I try to think chivalrous, gentlemanly thoughts... Well maybe not thoughts but general behavior. Sadly though being an asshole seems to work out so much better with most people most of the time. For the life of me I cannot understand why this girl acts like I did nothing out of the ordinary and sees this almost as manifest destiny. It makes me wish I was not a nice person. But if I heard that she had gotten into an accident or gotten arrested that blood guilt thing would rear an ugly head. So... I did the right thing... didn't I? Somehow call for a cab seems so much better an idea now.

Nellie

Luke - you did the right thing! Or rather . . . you did one of the "right thing" options that you had in front of you. Ultimately the decisions we make have to be decisions that WE can live with. You didn't do this for her . . . really, you did it for you. You would've felt terrible knowing that she was taken advantage of in her condition. In the big picture of your life, what did it cost you? A few groceries.

coolhandluke

i guess the larger thing that i wonder if it cost me is a measure of pride. trying to convince a drunk girl that you really did give her keys back to her and that she indeed put them in her purse is at best fucking annoying and at worst a waste of time. its one thing for someone to take advantage of you. it is entirely another for you to give them the roadmap to do so

joannadandy

People are dumb. That's it.

Nellie

I think you may be attributing way too much forethought and abilities to someone who you clearly identify as way too drunk to even know where her keys were! I realize that your feelings are clouded by your past experiences with her and her self-centeredness, but in this particular instance chalk it up to being a nice guy. No one's forcing you to turn this one incident into a relationship. You don't have to invite her over again. Rhe next time you see her just say, "Hey, feeling better? Good - enjoy your night." And don't invite her into your world.

Crumpet

Entertainingly written.

Not every good Samaritan is properly thanked. Your reward will be in heaven my child.

She could have just been peeved that you locked your bedroom door methinks.

I wouldn't let a little thing like a locked door be a barrier to my rapacious advances though.

In the meantime a little il duce prayer for when you feel the urge to throttle take you:

And when I vest my flashing sword

And my hand takes hold in judgement I will take vengeance upon mine enemies

And I will repay those who hate me O Lord, raise me to Thy right hand

And count me amoung Thy saints .

In Nomeni Patri Et Fili Spiritus Sancti

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81SOh0vVWhk

And shepherds we shall be, brother.

DJK

She. Talked. Through. The. Whole. Thing...about NOTHING.

Don't ya just hate that.

I had a similar experience when I was 18 and a virgin. I had a great evening with a young lady who had to much to drink and I gave her a ride home. Her parents house no less. Walking her up a dark stairway, she turned and put a liplock on me that still holds the record for the longest kiss I ever had.

There is no doubt about what could have happened, yet something inside me overpowered my hormones. I couldn't and never have taken advantage of someone. Chalk it up to doing the right thing.

I made a date with her for the following weekend. On the date she was cold and unfriendly, even today I don't understand it.

SixofNine

Sounds like it might have been a great opportunity to get started killing people! Did anyone else know she was with you?

meh, nah. You did the right thing by not killing her. And every day you don't kill someone, you're doing the right thing.

As for the whole feeding her and denying the poor girl sex thing, I don't think society in general really cares much one way or the other. I prolly would've fed her peanut butter on saltines and let her watch me shower, had I been in a situation where someone drunk who repulsed me needed food and wanted sex ;)

Now as for how the average ex-jw would handle things such as this, wth knows? I do know "we Witnesses sure like to eat!", so that might inform the survey, but just how I'm not sure. I'll spend a few minutes imagining, and get back if I come up with anything :-D

journey-on

People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

It sounds to me like she was simply a reason....a catalyst to help you learn something about yourself. What did you

take away with you from this experience?

As a side note, when I read this, I just thought, "Wow!" Who IS this guy?!

I make this olive oil that has had a medley of herbs infused into it over the past 6 months. I start with that, some green onions, garlic, deglaze with balsamic vinegar, add fresh roma tomatoes, some grilled salmon, some half and half, season, spice... brilliant. I feed her, get her some gatorade, make a bed on my couch, clean my dishes, brush my teeth, lock my bedroom door and I go to sleep.

Anybody else would have just made her a sandwich! This says something. (And all you wanted was a little appreciation....a sincere "Thank You" for taking that extra step.)

Calling a cab might have been a better idea, but you would have missed the opportunity to demonstrate a part of who you are.

MissingLink

Good man Luke. Gotta do the right thing.

I can't bear it when people talk thru movies. Movies for me are great escapism. I don't want any distractions - I want to be totally immursed in it. There's time for discussion after the movie.

Do the right thing

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