Did Your Mom and Dad Tell You " I Love You " Growing Up

I don't remember my dad ever telling me he loved me without me saying it first and it's the same now. He didn't show emotion in that way, but he would surprise me with gifts that showed he was thinking of me once in a while, a CD, a book etc. I think his lack of outwardly showing emotion stems from his growing up in an abusive household, where he was regularly beaten by his father and not shown much affection by him. Now he surpirses me every so often with a hug, which is nice.

My mum was always more expressive, and openly affectionate.

flipper

Thanks for all your answers . Definitely a really emotionally charged subject . So thanks for your candor.

LLBH- I agree you can't underestimate these emotions. It's so great you hug your kids ! I'm sorry about losing your brother.

JK- I hear ya buddy . Don't think my dad ever said he loved me either - that I can remember anyway. My mom always was and is still affectionate though ! Dude, you are not messed up ! Come on now . You are one of the most together guys I know. Maybe a little jaded from lifes experiences - but definitely not messed up ! Sorry your dad died.

MOMZCRAZY- It sounds like you broke the cycle , improving on what you got from your mom! That's great ! I'm sure your kids feel your love ! At least your dad told you he loved you. When he raised his hand to put his arm around you - you ducked ? I don't understand. Was he going to hit you ? Or did he just have huge hands ?

SPAZNICK- I'm glad your parents were loving.

CASPER- Maybe your parents are trying to make up for how it was in your childhood - as you said. I understand it's hard to trust though if you didn't have that in your formative years. It sounds though like you really did break the cycle and have a great relationship with your girls . I've tried to make up for the love I didn't feel from my dad , by giving it to my son and two daughters though.

MADDIE- I'm so sorry you lost your parents at such a young age my friend. My 1st wife lost her mom at age 3 years old. I'm sure you have done a great job with your kids though , as I can tel you are a caring, kind person here on the board. Just want you to know my wife and I send our unconditional love to you sis !

ASPHEREISNOTACIRCLE- I'm sorry you didn't hear it growing up - but it sure sounds like you have learned to say it and express it as you got older experiencing life more. I'm glad your family says they love you as well !

BUMBLE BEE- I'm glad to hear you were raised in a loving home where they expressed it physically and verbally . Sorry to hear about your husbands family though- that is odd for an Italian family. I'm sure he has been able to work through it with your help though

mrsjones5

No my parents hardly ever told me that they loved me. I remember when I was a teenager my mother told me that she just couldn't love me the way I wanted...whatever that means.

Mom was a product of rape and was raised by her grandparents as their own and she didn't find out the truth until she was about 16. Grandma and Grandpa loved my mother dearly but were just not into to showing affection. Also Grandpa was a bit of a rebel rouser, when my mother was small, and did a lot of drinking and fighting.

Dad came from a family of 14 kids, he was 5th oldest. A very quiet man who loves to tease. Dad was a lot of fun when we were little kids but grew more distance as we grew older. I don't recall my father ever saying that he loved me.

There was a lot of yelling in my house when I was growing up. A lot of name calling towards us kids from Mom and Dad, a lot of belittling. Mom and Dad fought all the time in front of us kids, usually started by my mother and still do to this day. It's a wonder that they've been married over 45 years now.

I decided when I had kids that I would give lots of hugs, kisses, say "I love you" often, never call my children names, never belittle them, and never fight with my husband in front of them - all the things my parents did that hurt and still hurt a little to this day.

I just hope I'm doing a better job.

Josie

VoidEater

My mom is affectionate, but not very demonstrative and has never initiated "I love you". My dad is cold and distant, though with meds in the past couple years he's more available. He finally can respond with "Ilove you" when I say it, which is more than I thought would ever happen.

Mrs. Jones: From what little I've seen here on the board, I bet you're doing a wonderful job.

DJK

No I love you's and no hugs growing up.

flipper

PEC- Don't cry little buddy !

FREE 2 THINK- I'm sorry to hear you went through that with your dad. At least he surprised you with gifts sometimes although it doesn't substitute for hugs and affection. I'm glad your mom is really affectionate and that your dad surprises you with hugs too.

MRS. JONES- I second Voideaters comment ! You have always seemed like a very affectionate person and I'm sure your children love you dearly as a mother. I'm so sorry you went through what you did as a girl , but it sounds like you broke the cycle of not feeling love ; by raising your own children with lots of love and hugs . It was great you and your husband settle differences without fighting and set such a great example for your children ! You rock Mrs. Jones- keep it up !

VOIDEATER- I'm glad your dad is saying " I love you " now Voideater. Glad to hear your mom is affectionate.

DJK- No I love you's or hugs? I'm sorry. I hope you get plenty now from your wife to make you feel a little better ! I want to send my wife and my unconditional love to you tonight my friend. Hang in there, we care

Did Your Mom and Dad Tell You " I Love You " Growing Up - and as an Adult?

PEC

free2think

flipper

mrsjones5

VoidEater

DJK

flipper

ferret

mrsjones5

skeeter1

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