its funny.. after reading this thread again i got to thinking.. My dad is my dad.. he raised me and he was a amazing dad i love him more than anything. But i recently met my biological father. And each time i see him he tells me he loves me.... is that even possible? to meet a child after 29 years and tell them u love them?
Did Your Mom and Dad Tell You " I Love You " Growing Up - and as an Adult?
by flipper 45 Replies latest jw friends
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Barbie Doll
each time i see him he tells me he loves me.... is that even possible? to meet a child after 29 years and tell them u love them?
CC81---- there is different kinds of love. It is possible, he could love you in his way.
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Cc81
i guess your right barbie doll!
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flipper
Hello ya all ! Sorry I haven't replied on my thread in a couple of days as I had a lot of secular work ! Tiring!But I'm back and will reply individually ! Thanks for the great comments and life stories !
FLYING HIGH NOW - It was interesting reading what you wrote about seeing your mother crying - and how it made you feel more authentic closer emotions towards her. One of the first times I remember seeing my mom cry was at age 16 when my mom had taken my cat to the vet to save it - but it died in her arms ! It made me feel like my mom could finally open up and be vulnerable and cry in front of me - it made me feel I was growing up a bit as I held her in my arms as she cried like a baby being sad for my cat. It was definitely a turning point for me in maturing. I'm glad your mom tucked you in FHN when you were a girl - I bet that was cute. I used to tuck my daughters in too when they were young - it makes me sad that now years later I haven't talked with them both in 8 months - and for what ? Cult mind control. Damned witnesses.
ALYMC- I'm glad to hear your dad told you he loved you often. I'm sorry about your mom.
BARBIE DOLL- Wow ! I'm speechless for once. I'm so sorry you suffered like you did ! I'm glad you are happy with PEC.
HOPE 4 OTHERS- I'm glad you got some hugs and lovin' from your parents. I'm sure they did the best they could. My dad was kind of the strong, silent type too ! Didn't say he loved me , but I know he did.
LISAVEGAS- Lisa, that is so cool you broke the cycle of not receiving affection from your parents . Glad to hear you and your kids and grandkids are doing great ! I'm happy for you.
LOUBELLE- I'm glad to hear your relationship improved with your mom in time. I'm sorry like myself you haven't heard " I love you " from your dad much. I know how you feel. Peace.
SHOPAHOLIC- I was the same with my dad . I know he cared and loved me - he just could not express it.
JAMBON 1 - I am the same way with my kids. I'm pretty loving and emotional when it comes to my kids. Anytime a movie comes on showing caring scenes of parent/child relationships I get teary eyed over it. My adult kids tease me about it and call me a old softie - but that's all right.
MOMZCRAZY- I'm sorry you got smacked from your dad. That's sick. Peace to you.
JIM _ TX- I'm so sorry you were beaten all those years from your dad and mom. You know, it does take years to forgive and understand what made our parents act as they did. It took me till about 10 years ago to figure out my dad had a rough childhood making him be aloof. Jim - You have my best wishes and caring thoughts bro ! Peace to you !
CC81- I'm glad your dad showed you love and affection . I'm sure your mom would have shown you more if she had not battled the mental illness that afflicted her. Take care friend.
STILL IN 74- It sounds like your mother was like my adult children's mother - my ex wife. Love is stated and shown as long as you are doing something for her to deserve it. Or if she manipulates you into something - she'll be loving. Strange behavior -
chickpea
my mother ( alcoholic) was much more likely to say : i am going to kill you and tell god you died; i am going to rip your arm off and beat you over the head with the bluddy end; i am going to run you over with the car and then back it up to finish the job..... and so many more colourful phrases that anytime she said " i love you" it felt disingenuous, and when she was slurring it in a drunken state it was absolutely nauseating
my father ( absent, perverse) wanted to screw me, and tried on more than one occasion..... never recall that he said "i love you" or that he cared i was crying when i asked him not to rape me
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flipper
CHICKPEA- I am so sorry you were treated that way my friend. I hope over the years since you have gotten some healing. Peace and good thoughts for you ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper