How do you deal with co-workers?

anewme

As a witness I only worked with other witnesses for 35 years.
Now thrust out into the real world I find myself unprepared
for many of the confrontations I am experiencing with fellow
associates and customers alike.

I am amazed at the conceit and petty gossip and foul
language and back biting that goes on. Believe me I have
tried hard to like them all and be a good work mate.

I have tried to be a calming spirit at work but to no
avail it seems. They are like a pack of wild dogs and even I
get bit every now and then.

I am just about to quit another job because I cant stand
the people. They are just incorrigible.

Is it me and my sensitivity?

Have any of you experienced this same adjustment problem?

Uzzah

I am amazed at the conceit and petty gossip and foul
~~language and~~ back biting that goes on. Believe me I have
tried hard to like them all and be a good work mate.

hmmm How did you cope with these things in the Kingdom Hall?

38 Years

There is an adjustment for dealing with people after being a dub. These are skills we were never taught (unless we were standing at their doors). We were only taught to reject everyone and tell ourselves that we were superior because of our religion. Work environments are different. You won't get away from different personalites and attitudes. Get your own attitude, you won't change theirs. Focus on getting your work done and getting your paycheck. If you can't stand it anymore start looking for another job before you quit this one. Sometimes it's more tolerable when you are actively looking for something else. Hope this helps.

anewme

I know it is hard to believe, but I did not experience much bad behavior
in my circle of JWs.

I hung out with pioneers and active ones and elders and their wives.
I did some janitorial for a while with different ones.

We were all living in our dream bubble and used courteous behavior with each other.

The difference is enormous between the two groups of people I have observed.

The world does not seem to care how their behavior affects the other guy.
They advocate speaking up and standing up and in your face confrontations with others.

That is why I am asking what is your experience?

This is my third job outside the org and it is always the same problem for me.

I am appalled at the lack of manners and courtesy and caring and concern on the
part of the average worker for his/her co-worker.
Its "dog-eat-dog" and rather treacherous.

What is your experience?

And do you have any tips you can pass on?

How do I toughen my skin to deal with the world?

jaguarbass

The world does not seem to care how their behavior affects the other guy.

That sounds like the witnesses to me.

Maybe being a wactower salesperson was good for you. Freedom and rebellion is not for everybody.

That's the thing about cults and religion, you get to belong. You belong to the group. Some people like that.

Just dont let it kill you or someone you love.

Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit

You gotta put your hand up and say 'WHATever' a lot. I'm serious. It ends all the gossip and bs and ego nonsense.

Thegoodgirl

You sound like you actually have just run into seriously bad jobs. Where do you work? Who do you work with? My jobs have been rough, but when you really look at it, it's just one or two people who are being the b-withes.

I've found that I keep a rule, always work at least a year at every job. Never quit before that. You may find that they are mean only at first, before they trust you. They still view you as an "outsider" until you prove yourself. Other times, they may just need to know they can trust you at the job. So they basically reject you until the trust you, then there may be a sudden flip in attitude, as you become one of them.

(That was my experience as a nurse, anyway.)

But if it really is that bad, maybe you just are having a bad luck streak of working with bad people. But most of the "world" actually isn't like that.

Maddie

I have worked with some pretty awful people at times but just as many really nice ones too. I like to work in an environment that I am comfortable in but there are usually one or two that are a pain. I try to avoid them and talk to the others.

Maddie

anewme

38 Years, your advice is what my husband says to me.....focus on the work and the paycheck.
Its so hard! I want to have friends so bad you know! I want to love and be loved! But work is not the place to seek friendship and love I guess. If it happens, great. But I should not expect it or be depressed when everyone seems cranky and unhappy all around me all the time.

Can I tell you an unpleasant story that happened yesterday?

Yesterday, Sunday, did not go well at work. For one thing, sales are slow, and so we are all standing around frustrated. Our boss is going nuts because the sales are down so low. The regional director calls and is very dissappointed too. So the mood is low in our store.

So the girls start to pick on each other. And the customers that did come in are weird.
I was especially sweet to a lady but she called the store back and reported to my manager that I was
extremely rude to her. YIKES!!!!

So I show my pearl bracelet to two girls and share with them a JW concept from a talk I heard years ago.
"Just like the oyster forms a pearl around an irritation, so too, we can turn small daily irritations into beautiful pearls of our personality by showing patience, understanding, love and mercy!"

They both just looked at me and burst out laughing!!!!!

I felt ridiculous. After that I felt uneasy around them.

Today I am home scouring the want ads.

mrsjones5

Learn selective hearing, avoid those you don't like or who don't like you if possible, say no often (except to your boss and your customers)

I think you're very sweet anewme.

Josie

How do you deal with co-workers?

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