I would like some advice please! (page 2)

ISP

Don't know what the problem is. Just tell them he joined that Navy to get a better understanding of ships and stuff. Surely thats OK?

ISP

I don't agree that your husband may be acting like a wimp. It really is only his and your business and the JWs are always eager to investigate causes for shunning. It sounds as if they're suspicious of something already.

Is it possible to invent some kind of cover story that matches up a little with the facts? Such as he has a part-time job that he has to do a bit of travel with (it's the truth, but doesn't give away what's none of their business). That isn't lying, either technically, legally, or morally.

I don't think unnecessarily subjecting himself to the ridiculous shunning JWs practice is not being a man.

I tell any JWs who ask why I'm not at meetings that my health is not good (true); not that I don't believe it anymore (also true). Why subject myself to losing my family unnecessarily?

Good luck in figuring out your dilemma. Life is full of trade-offs, huh?

Just my opinion,
Pat

ashitaka

If you don't want to reveal, activly conceal. Your hubby just needs to be a little proavtive and tell them he's going out of town on business, and that if they need to reach him to call you and leave a message....simple.

If they ask you how he is..."fine. work is hard no matter what you do."

ambiguity is a wonderful thing.

ashi

Satanus

AmazingPro

If lying makes you sick, then just don't lie. Tell him he has to take care of it. It isn't your problem. Tell him if he doesn't, that you aren't going to cover for him. Either tell them the truth, or take yourself out of the loop. You could say to his parents that you aren't at liberty to talk about his business, and they are free to talk to him about their questions when he returns.

larc

AmazingProgeny,

I have mixed feelings about this, but I tend to side with Patio. I would be evasive. After all, you learned this skill well when you were a Witness. They do it all the time. It is almost automatic for them.

I wouldn't feel nervous and guilty about it either. It is really none of their business.

If talking to them bothers you, don't answer the phone on the weekend.

By the way, what does your dad advise you to do? After all, he's a pretty savvy dude.

LittleToe

I agree with Ash.
Being proactive with the half-truths is far easier. It is often the best way to sidestep awkward questions. It takes a little forward thought, but really can work.

LT

waiting

Howdy Amazing Pro,

Does this bring up crappy memories or what! My first husband had an extremely gay mother (sock in pants, flat top hair, lived with a woman as a man.) Well, he was raised a jw - so it's a safe bet, he had *issues.* We kept in contact with his mother, invited them to dinner infrequently (she was helping to pay for his college).

Just before mother and wife would come to dinner, my husband would leave! To store, to bank, to library - it didn't matter, then he'd come back about an hour after they'd been at our house. I was left doing ALL the small talk - and I didn't even like her that much.

Made me furious after I finally caught on. The next time he started to leave, I told him I was going to store also, and he'd just have to stay. He was furious, but he stayed. I think he just hated to confrontation and the immediate of the situation.

I think your husband needs to handle his own situation as he sees fit. Evasive action is fine in "spiritual warefare" - just like the WTBTS does. But HE needs to do it, not you. Mothers can be such a pain, eh?

Btw, I'm the mother of three grown children. Nice to meet you.

waiting

I would like some advice please!

ISP

patio34

ashitaka

Satanus

larc

LittleToe

waiting

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