Recent qutters, do you even have a social structure now?

by oompa 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • oompa
    oompa

    At least when I was in High School, I had lots of somewhat secret WORLDLY friends. I fit in well for guy with short hair. My liberal elder/dad let me play on the tennis and soccer team....and go to the prom with my Catholic girlfriend...talk about scandal. I think he was compensating for my when my older sister was df'd at 15 and screwed up things for the family for a few years.

    I wish I was just getting out of High School now... I would have held on to those friends...........................oompa

  • MissingLink
    MissingLink

    Nope. Its like me, wife, and kids are an kids are on an island at the moment. (we actually are, but you know what I mean)

    Still keep in touch with 2 JWs, but maybe see them once a month.

  • watson
    watson

    Not much of a social structure here. Moved to a new area several years ago. Hit a couple meetings a month, so am looked at a scance by the new cong (just to keep "pace with the org). Gradually meeting and getting to know the neighbors, work mates etc. A slow process for me.

  • R.Crusoe
    R.Crusoe

    An excellent question!

    Many of usI have zero established social structures and they were dramatically diminished by the WT social straight jacket they fitted us with!

    All humans should be aware that long term JWs are aware of the plight of WT leavers! It' salmost as if they see it as recompense for not sticking to all the garbage they sold their souls to! Some almost see it as a vengeance of sick sorts!

    But a most significant point I became aware of is how 2nd or more generation JWs treat regular humans like some farm fodder to be harvested and slaughtered as they see fit in gaining their organisations 'gold stars' of idolatry! Ones who idolise the WTS targets whilst others are made to slave to adhere to them!

    Lovelessness is their goal before the WT phallus!

  • Casper
    Casper

    Oompa,

    None of my family are in, or associated with the witnesses, so it was easy to get involved with their activies.

    They are all into Dirt Track racing, as is (was) my hubby. We just recently sold out, since he retired. But, our social circle revolves around a shared hobby with others. It gives us something to do with a large group every Fri. or Sat. night.

    It really helped with the transition from the witnesses. Otherwise the loneliness would have been hard to deal with.

    Cas

  • oompa
    oompa

    So I guess I am buying a dirt track car now....And how the crap did I post this with the non-word Qutters in it! (and I wan't even drinking)........oompa

    man talk about a vacuum

  • strawberry cake
    strawberry cake

    I am starting to spread my wings.

    I've joined a few clubs eg..rambling( I've met some really nice people on walks) and scouts with my youngest son.(hoping my son will make friends and I will meet other mums.) Also the angling club.
    Started visiting more nature reserves and going on country walks more with my family.

    Also I started saying yes to invites from 'worldlings'.I have started giving more time to my own siblings and I speak to my parents more. Even the pets get more attention.

    Indeed my husband and I are really appreciating the non JW friends we have who we had falsely considered just acquaintances before.Who,truly are nicer than most of our JW 'friends'

    So we are actively trying to move on. At the moment the cloud of the WTS still hangs over us,(we talk constantly about them) but we are hoping that in the months to come, this will clear and we will truly be free of it.

    xxx Strawberry Cake

  • Casper
    Casper

    Sure, Oompa...

    Come on down, we'll get you behind the wheel. Just remember to "Always" turn left...

    Cas

  • rmt1
    rmt1

    I left in '99. Part of the reason I am out is because I could never, from the age of 14, completely swallow the expected daily regimen of bull. While in the JW, this problem directly impacted the ability to create and maintain permanent friendships, which meant a reduced experience in creating and maintaining (any) friendships at all. Now that I am out, I have infinite opportunity to craft any such friendship that I desire, but I am past a certain social-brain-formative point of really being compelled to. There is no real substitute for an adequate circle of friends in which you can offload and confide, and I have just enough to keep me part of society. But of more importance to me personally: by being as far away from the JW experience as possible, I have infinite opportunity to think, conceive, apprehend, comprehend any idea, thought form or emotion that I please. Anyone leaving would do well to count the cost by assessing how much time they (already) spend in their head versus how much time they (already) spend in human company. (Being out in service, for me, did not count as being in human company.)

  • patio34
    patio34

    I was surprised at the friendships I developed and the social life I had AFTER I left the JWs. Being a single parent in the JWs was very lonely and I became convinced after decades that I was basically an unlikeable person and learned to live with it. What a sad story!!

    Then I exited and started socializing with work chums, traveling and having a great time! What a difference! It was surprising that I could have friends!

    Pat

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