Recent qutters, do you even have a social structure now?

by oompa 26 Replies latest jw friends

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  jwfacts

  My social structure is better than as a JW. I hardly have time to keep up with everyone.

  Several reasons:

  1. I change jobs every 2 years. At each job I make sure I attend all after work functions. I always click with a couple of people that I keep in regular contact with after leaving the job and they have become "friends for life" (though I still say that with caution as every exJW is scarred by knowing how easily friends and family can abandon you.)
  2. My wife is Filipino and the Filipino community is far more loving and close than Australian JW's are. I can now walk into a Filipino restaurant and be greeted as I was walking into a kingdom hall
  3. My stepson is 21 and daughter is 15, and they often have people over. Young people these days seem to have no trouble making way too many friends through school, work, parties and then using facebook to keep in touch.
  4. People in general want to be liked and have friends. I try to be relaxed and happy and talk to anyone, including at pubs and restaurants, where my wife and I have developed good friendships.
  5. I just sold a cafe, and we formed good friendships and keep in touch with many of the staff.
  6. I have tracked down a lot of old friends and found most are exJWs, plus have made new exJW friends through meetups.
• 

  Save My Soul

  I have many associates via my wife. Soccer, basketball and other sports have cause this great activity. The elders know that I was baptized at 13, so when I say, "I missed the bookstudy for soccer practice". They do not questions me. I was in the org. longer than them all.
• 

  oompa

  jwfacts: I change jobs every 2 years.

  facts, I liked your interesting list and use your great website quite a bit. But why this 2 year thing? You list it like it is part of definate plan. more info please................oompa
• 

  WTWizard

  I had a pxxx poor "social structure" even before joining. They took advantage of that to scam me into joining, and then proceded to make it even worse.
• 

  whoknows

  We can totally relate. My husband and I were very involved "jw lifers", forty plus years. We began to fade about a year ago and haven't been to a meeting in months. We are not df or da, but we have been completely dropped by ALL of our former friends. We did have a wonderful social life, actually more than we could really handle. It's been a very tough year, but I understand it does get better. At the moment, I have no idea how to reconstruct my life, don't even know if I have the energy. We do have non-jw siblings who have always loved us and we are now giving more attention to those relationships, feeling guilty that it took us "losing my religion" to do so. You are certainly not alone. I know there must be thousands lurking here finding comfort in reading this thread. It is hard to come out of the shadows, but I just had to let you know my heart goes out to you.
• 

  berylblue

  No, because I stay up at night correcting others' typos.
• 

  oompa

  funny Barelyblue....that is my first subject line typo (while sober)...and it is killing me. I caught it too late to edit...maybe a moderator could change it?....oompa
• 

  Meeting Junkie No More

  A very limited one. And this is disconcerting to me, because I was always such a 'people person'. I have not been to a meeting in months, and have heard from only a handful of my supposed 'friends' - that in itself is a wake-up call that I am having to deal with - some days it is harder than others. There is generally no problem on weekdays.

  But weekends give me so much more time. I feel I am re-discovering myself, which can't be an all-bad thing. Still, it is overwhelming to contemplate rebuilding a social network and that is what I am facing...

  Like one of the new posters said in another thread, it would be great to find out just who, in our immediate area, is on the same page as we are, without the threat of being turned in, just to get support and a listening ear and maybe, in time, the basis for forming new frienships. But when I read a while back about pictures being taken at one of the apostafests, it kind of scared me from attending for fear of reprisal (extended family still in)...that was a bit sad, and I actually miss Stealth...too bad he isn't with us anymore (not to hijack your thread)
• 

  oompa

  NO MEETING JUNKIE: Still, it is overwhelming to contemplate rebuilding a social network and that is what I am facing... AMEN! from oompa

  Like one of the new posters said in another thread, it would be great to find out just who, in our immediate area, is on the same page as we are, without the threat of being turned in, just to get support and a listening ear and maybe, in time, the basis for forming new frienships. But when I read a while back about pictures being taken at one of the apostafests, it kind of scared me from attending for fear of reprisal (extended family still in)...that was a bit sad, and I actually miss Stealth...too bad he isn't with us anymore (not to hijack your thread)

  And this is certainly no hi-jack...and the apostatfests could be great without cameras, and they should be....I miss Stealth too......The fear we can still have is so pathetic, and yet it is there, and real............so sad....................oompa

  would someone PLEASE correct my stupid subject line!!!
• 

  Anti-Christ

  I have a hard time keeping up with my social life. I have a lot of non-JW friends and I do a lot of activities, scuba-diving, free-diving, camping, mountain- biking, karate, jiu-jitsu, snowboarding, etc.. so I have much more time to do the things I love instead of going to the lobotomising JW meetings.