Will A JW pick his religion over raising his own child?

by HYM 14 Replies latest social relationships

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  R.Crusoe

  Life is a tough trip!

  If two people don't take the decision to work stuff out between each other or if soemone gets to just one of them, both lives will be at the mercy of other dictators! Some of these will have best intentions but only you and the partner can know the core things going on in your hearts and minds!!

  If you don't share it I can guarantee you this - poison will affect one or both to a point where it becomes impossible to rebuild bridges to a best case scenario!

  Furthermore if your partner is one likely to backtrack on agreements or if your communications are already under the influence of what others say to him, you will feel compromised and unable to trust in agreed solutions to your situation!

  So the best resolution IMO depends upon how well you know him and how well you feel him trust your feelings and wishes for the future!

  This is why religion can be so damaging - it can utterly undermine and destroy the humsn-human bonds that need be there to make joint decisions on all your lives in a loving, caring, compassionate manner!

  If you can't work together then the nightmare reles and regulations take root!

  In both your heads too much time will be spent dwelling on legal stuff and this is usually negative emotion rift building stuff!

  He will feel the law is weighted to you and may be given advice telling him that the child is already 90% yours by law etc and so his claim to be the father he may want to be already doesnt exist! That's just the start as I'm sure you're aware! It gives you a taste of the mindfood each of you will expose yourselves to once one of you feels they must negotiate outside the two of you!

  So the question you ask is no straightforward one! And if he does not love you it is even less of a good idea!

  If he does love you thenm I wonder why he isn't with you?

  He should always choose love everytime for it is what gives life meaning! But it must be his love for you coupled with your love for him and you both building your religion on that foundation! You need no organisation to do that! Just each other and nature IMO! That is religion to me and why I wonder why he walks away if he feels it?

  Either he has deep affection for you but is not in love or he is utterly confused still by JW godspeak of men who love to control others or maybe both!

  I'm sad your situation is already complicated beyond your both knowing where life is headed and wanting the same things!

  Best wishes - I hope I made some sense that may be of some use?
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  Mrs. Witness

  Second what Carla said. I have a JW hubby and two kids. The organization comes first.
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  B_Deserter

  His congregation will likely encourage him to raise the child. They want him to because it's another child they can indoctrinate into the church. Trust me, if he does come back to take care of the baby, the Kingdom Hall will drive a wedge between you and the child. Fight for sole custody, use the blood issue, do whatever you can to keep this child because it will be hard enough to undo a biweekly JW brainwashing, let alone an entire lifetime of it.
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  4th wave

  Yes, the JW will pick his religion over his or her own child. They are encouraged to do so by the Society. When a parent would rather let a child die than accept a blood transfusion or another one that we see, the Society telling parents that the primary reason to fight for custody is to raise them a JW (should be because they love the child and it is their own flesh and blood).

  God bless the children!!!

  4th Wave
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  Shawn10538

  This thread seems pretty old, so I'm not sure how relevant it is (I notice one person has made over 500 posts since this thread started so I'm guessing it is old.) But my two cents are that it would be better to completely lose him rather than having him noted as the official father with rights. Understand that he is VERY motivated to get you and that child "into the truth." In any case, definitely the child. He will not be able to live with himself if he allows one of his children to be raised in Satans world, with likely the same end... death at the hand of God. He will, and I and many here will promise you this: he will be relentless in his efforts to indoctrinate that child. Don't take his money. Don't take him to court. Just disappear and do not ever let him see that child. Only harm can come from it, harm to your child. Move on and let some other man, NOT A CULT MEMBER take credit for being the child's father.
  
  Those having dealings with stupid ones will fare badly. JWs are stupid ones, and any contact with them for any reason will somehow result in harm to you and your child. I promise you this will happen unless you completely chop that guy out of your life. Do not take his money, and do not admit to him that he is the father. Only bad can result from this.
  
  Most of the advice on this thread is sound and accurate. It can be trusted. These are people with experience in this field.