how do you deal with bullies? (page 2)

Layla33

Stand up to them, get in their face and kick their ass, even if you lose, you let them know that you won't be pushed around. The only way bullies exist is because they get away with that crap. I can't stand bullies, and yes it is based on severe inferiority complexes and possibly abuse at home. But stand up to them, even if it is not physical and let them know, the days of bullying are now over.

loosie

Thank you guys for your comments. I have already done some of these things. I tell her that they put her down to make themselves feel better. I tell her she is beautiful. (she says I have to say that because I am her mom) I tell her no I don't.

The most common bully does bully other kids. The other kids cuss back at him. I told her to go ahead and cuss back at him. She told the counselor that I told her I would not get her in trouble if she cussed back at him. And the counselor says that she will get in trouble for cuss back at him. I told her that if he doesn't get in trouble than she can't get in trouble.

I have seen this kid's hair he shouldn't be making fun of anybody's hair until he looks in the mirror. He has even made up a new definition for the word COOL. (Consitpated Overweight Out of style Loser)

I told her he must have a hard life at home for him to act this way at school. That is of little help when he constantly verbally insults her. I told her to insult him back. If he tells on her then it will come to light what he said to start it in the first place.

I think though when school gets back in I will talk to the principle about this. they could have some kind of assembly about verbal and pshyical bullying.

I was hoping that kids have evolved into nicer people in the last 20 years.

logic

I do not reccomend this solution to anyone, but it is a true story never the less. When I was 13, good friends and neighbors of our family had son who grew into a very large mean vicious bully . By the time he was 18 he was bad news to the neigborhood and the police, He was serious problem for his mom and dad. One night he came home as drunk as skunk and knocked his momma around. That night after he passed out his momma tied him to his bed with a rope and proceeded to beat the crap out of him with his own baseball bat. Later we watched the excitement as she was taken to the police station and he was taken to the hospital. She was questioned and released with no charges being filed, he was never seen or heard from again. Moral of the story , never mess with momma.

Fadeout

The schoolyard follows the law of the jungle. It is entirely insulated form the outside "society" and "civilation," ruled not by reason but by instinct.

If I had a kid, I'd teach him/her that the way to deal with a bully is to beat the crap out of him in front of everyone.

The threat of getting in "trouble" for this standing up for oneself is ludicrous. What kind of trouble can a sixth-grader get in... oooh, you had to go to the Principal's office!? Please.

The Watchtower says that if you're being physically attacked, you can try to push away your attacker or restrain him while calling for help. Screw that. Develop a "don't f*** with me" policy and you'll be amazed how people start showing you respect... whether they envy you because they don't have the guts to follow your example, or whether they have a similar attitude and respect a kindred spirit.

And you bet this carries over into adulthood. If it's not taught while you're young you'll grow up and join MADD or PETA or the WTS or some similarly crappy organization.

Rapunzel

Although I abhor violence, I think that it would be a good idea to enroll your daughter in a martial arts class. Most reputable martial arts instructors discourage violence and teach techniques for avoiding violence, or at least minimizing it if violence becomes necessary. Judo and tae kwan do instructors often place emphasis on practical self defense, as do jiujitsu teachers. Studying martial arts will give your daughter self-confidence. The bullies will easily sense that and leave her alone. Also, learning martial arts will give your daughter the ability to defend herself from a truly violent attack. As we know, it's a dangerous society/world out there. Women/girls especially need the abilty to defend themselves.

coffee_black

Sixth grade was the worst year of my childhood. I was the new kid, a jw and every day was a nightmare of bullying. Ignoring it didn't help. That's all I knew to do, and it just made it worse. My grades suffered. I would love to go back in time and give myself a backbone...stand up to them... Learning to deal with bullies is an important lesson for everyone to learn. Standing up to them is the only thing that works. I don't mean physically...but learning to look them in the eye, not back down, and give as good as you get.

My jw neice used to bully my daughter when they were in middle school. I used to tell my daughter to ignore it...but every time it happened the wounds grew deeper, until finally I said she should give her a taste of her own medicine. Worked like a charm.

Coffee

doofdaddy

In Australian schools bullying is taken very seriously. It got to a point where something had to be done.

Firstly, it's not your daughters problem. It's the bully's. They are the one to be addressed, rather than creating strategies for your daughter to deal with their behaviour. This is the reponsibility of the school. Go to the principle and if you don't get a clear and immediate response go higher in the appropriate goverment dept. If this doesn't get an outcome, go to your local goverment representative. Nothing moves govt reps faster than a vote catcher.

SPAZnik

I'd wager he has a crush on her.

I'd say to him "I like your fro. It takes guts to wear a cool do like that. Do people get jealous of your individuality?"

See what he does.

truman

My son ran into a bully in the seventh grade. The kid was smaller than my boy, but kinda like a Bantam rooster, he was determined to draw my son into a fight. Of course, we were JWs at the time, and I strongly advised against direct physical confrontation. My solution was to contact the parent (mother) of the other child. Fortunately she was a reasonable woman. We all, parents and kids, got together one afternoon at the park and discussed the situation. Of course, the little bully was not happy with the session, but the bullying did stop. I wish the situation had gone even further into cultivating positive energy. If I had it to do over, I might even invite the other family to my home for dinner, so that the kids could see each other as people outside the pressure cooker of the school environment.

Layla33

Truman, I like your solution, but if that doesn't work, kick some ass. LOL

how do you deal with bullies?

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