No ExitThere is simply no proper or honorable way to leave the cult. Period. To leave is to fail, to die, to be defeated by evil. To leave is to invite divine retribution.
Members are often taught that all kinds of bad things will happen to them if they leave: They will lose all of the spiritual progress that they made while they were in the cult, or they won't be able to get into Heaven, or the Devil or demons will get them, or they will relapse and die of drugs and alcohol... That is another standard cult characteristic: The Cult Implants Phobias, and more of the usual threats and fears are listed under that item.
Obviously, if everybody leaves the cult, then the phony guru's game is over. So he is the one who really has reason to fear people leaving.
The Scientology "Code of Honor" includes these items:- 2. Never withdraw allegiance once granted.
- 3. Never desert a group to which you owe your support.
And Scientologists who are members of the "Sea Org" (sea-going organization) sign a billion-year contract, swearing to serve the cult leader L. Ron Hubbard in all future reincarnations for the next billion years. How's that for not ever leaving the group?
In some cults, members are told to absolutely avoid any contact with people who have left the cult. They are told that the departees are evil and dangerous, and must be shunned and ostracized. Good Scientologists may not have any contact with people who have been "declared Suppressive Persons." Jehovah's Witnesses may not talk to or associate with those who have been "disfellowshipped." Likewise, good Moonies may not communicate in any way with those who have left. That is an act of self-preservation for the cult: They don't want to risk their members being told some sensible things by people who were lucky enough to get out.
Such ostracism also acts as a strong deterrent to people who may be thinking about leaving. Cardigan, in "Mainstream Cults," makes the point that the fact that every member of the cult knows for certain what will happen if they leave is a potent psychological threat. It goes beyond a vague, remote, "you'll burn in Hell for eternity" threat. It's an immediate, here-and-now threat: "We will not associate with you ever again. You will be completely cut off and totally alone." No one wants to risk being completely ostracized by his or her friends. And since most cult members associate almost exclusively with just other cult members, such ostracism means being cast completely adrift, and left totally friendless and alone.
In the Jehovah's Witnesses, Jehovah 'sifts out' those not truly 'in the truth', those without 'the right heart condition' which is why people leave or must be "disfellowshipped". In the eyes of the cult, no one leaves for legitimate reasons.
A corollary to the "No Exit" rule is the demonization of those who leave:
- They are evil, weak, and selfish.
- They are stupid and foolish.
- They are wandering in darkness, unable to see.
- They are traitors, quitters, turn-coats, disloyal, deserters.
- They have sold out.
- They are Enemies of the Cross.
- They have chosen Evil over Goodness.
- They are losers, trying to throw stones at winners.
- They didn't chant enough, or they didn't meditate enough, or they didn't do enough yoga.
- They weren't really trying.
- They didn't follow the procedures correctly.
- They were unable to resist the temptation to sin.
- They hid their problems, and didn't reveal them to the group.
- They couldn't overcome their cravings for sex, alcohol, or drugs.
- They couldn't give up their attachments to money and possessions.
- They couldn't be honest.
- They were always stupid, real losers.
- They never could get it right.
- They are the spawn of Satan.
- They were always trying to destroy our movement.
- They were never a part of us to begin with.
- We are much better off without their bad influences.
Olin's story also illustrated several other common cult characteristics, besides No Exit:
- The Guru is always right. Everything Chuck Dederich said was always right, period. His orders, or his lastest fad, were to be followed without question, even if it meant being sterilized or aborting a much-longed-for baby.
- You are always wrong. Olin actually felt bad -- guilty -- for standing on his principles and speaking up for what he believed was true and right, and choosing to not participate in the evil any longer. He was made to feel like a deserter and a traitor for choosing right over wrong, truth over falsehoods, and freedom over slavery. "I couldn't even look at him [Chuck Dederich] -- I felt like such a traitor."
- That "You are always wrong" attitude also clearly shows in the demonization of those who choose to leave.
- Likewise, the cult members gave us lots of examples of Ad Hominem and Personal Attacks On Critics.
"You are a piece of dirt if you dare to criticize our cult, the Founder, or his wonderful teachings. And you are insane if you are thinking about leaving the wonderful cult."
When Olin criticized the faults of the cult, they responded by calling him a "motherfucker" and an "asshole". And Dede and Pete agreed that Bill Olin "had gone totally crazy" when he decided to leave Synanon. - Grandiose claims and bombastic idealism. "We are special. We are the wave of the future. The United Nations could learn something from us. Only we have a style of life worth living. Everybody else is dying of loneliness and boredom, while we build Heaven on Earth."
- Sacred Science. "We have the new technology, the panacea, that will save the world -- The Synanon Game."
- Confession sessions. "The Game" and "The Stew" were just modified confession or self-criticism sessions, very similar to the Red Chinese brainwashing self-criticism sessions where they reversed the logic and everyone had to criticize someone else. In The Game and The Stew, everyone ganged up on one person at a time, and ripped them to shreds. Then they would "flip the box" and lavishly praise the person they had just crushed. Then they would rotate the target to someone else and repeat the routine until everyone had had his ego destroyed.
- Pseudo-democracy. You can voice your opinion, and even scream it in Game sessions, but your opinion doesn't really matter and will actually change nothing.
- Royalty and The Inner Circle -- "Saint Charles" Dederich, "Princess Jady Dederich", 'Prince Dede', the "Homeplace heavies", and "The Big-Shot Game". Any purported "equality" in the cult is a hoax.
Everybody is equal, but some people are more equal than others.
And the slogan was "Character is the only rank", but that wasn't how things really worked. - Different levels of information -- The general membership didn't know everything that was happening; that knowledge was reserved for the inner circle.
- Which brings up, Dual Purposes. Synanon began as an idealistic drug and alcohol rehabilitation program, and ended up being whatever Charles Dederich said it was. Lastly, he said it was a religion and a research project exploring how Synanon could supply the leaders with rich, luxurious, elegant lifestyles. (No joke. That's the literal truth. That's what he said.) At the end, "fine dining" -- two-hour, multiple-course dinners of the finest available cuisine -- was one of the inner circle's major daily tasks.
- True Believers and Inability To Tolerate Criticism. They all intensely believe in their cause -- they believe that it is perfect, and they can't stand any doubts or criticism of their group or its activities.
- Cloned copies of the leader -- the "little Chucks".
- Isolationism or separatism. The cult has a siege mentality of "us versus them out there." And there is no reality outside of the cult. Life outside of the cult is seen as absurd, shallow, lonely, hard, boring, and pointless.
- Enemy making. Anybody who won't do what the cult wants is an enemy of the cult. Olin mentioned the county planning director, whom Olin found to be an okay guy when he went and talked with him, or Gambonini, the rancher next door, who had done nothing to Synanon. --Which, in turn, revealed the growing paranoia of the cult. And even the old-timer Synanon member William Olin himself was labeled "no longer on Synanon's side" for telling the truth about some of the faults of Synanon.
- -- Which shows yet another cult characteristic: You Can't Tell The Truth.
- Cult-speak, Slogans and Thought-terminating Clichés.
- "Character is the only rank."
- "Pressure always reduces quantity but improves quality."
- "We are tacking towards population compression."
- "All projections are valid."
- "Take a strong position."
- "Flip the box."
- Denial. True believers deny the truth, and cannot tolerate any criticism.
- Isolation, ostracism, and shunning of splitters.
- A system of rewards and punishments. When Olin announced his desire to leave, all respect, praise, and positive feedback vanished. He was subjected to numerous rounds of torment and torture, verbal assaults and psychological attacks, as well as ostracism and shunning. Olin was also punished by the group attacking his co-worker, Bob Greenfeld, for Olin's "crime" of leaving.
- Obligation and reversal of reality. Even though William Olin was a non-addict "lifestyler" and a successful architect who had joined Synanon because he had believed in it as a utopian social movement, and even though Olin had given Synanon his life savings and had worked for Synanon for free for ten years, the cult claimed that Synanon had given him everything, and that he was "just a sour, ungrateful asshole."
Note the statement that Olin would starve outside of Synanon. There was no recognition of the reality that he was a competent non-addict architect who was quite capable of making a living and taking care of himself outside of Synanon. That little "you will starve" slur also smacks of Phobia Induction -- trying to make Olin afraid to leave. And, it may also be the other cult members giving voice to their own suppressed fears that they would starve if they tried to leave the cult.
- Conditional friendships and conditional love. Your "true friends for life" who give you "unconditional love" will withdraw their "love" in a flat minute if you violate the cult's rules, and fall out of favor, by doing something stupid like saying that you want to leave. Your own wife might even immediately divorce you.
- Members get no respect. They get abused. The rank-and-file membership worked more than full time for wages that ranged from $2 to $25 per week, while the inner circle explored elegant lifestyles and fine dining. And still, the leader Chuck Dederich often berated the members by saying that he was forced to support all of their incompetent lazy asses. That's another example of "You Are Always Wrong.", and it's also an example of "You Owe The Group".
- And then Synanon was extremely intrusive, and violated people's personal boundaries and invaded their private lives to an unwarranted degree, even for an organization that was supposedly a drug and alcohol rehabilitation program. The leader Dederich said that he didn't want any more children around, and he actually felt entitled to order all of the men (except himself) to get vasectomies, and the pregnant women had to get abortions -- even women who really wanted their babies, and had been trying to get pregnant for years.