What do you think about girls having boyfriends and vice versa?

Open mind

I'm talking about kids from 12 on up. What are your thoughts on them "going steady"?

This can either be without any JW influence in the situation or with.

All thoughts appreciated.

OM

R.Crusoe

I think it is extremely healthy for young humans to do! But we have a catch 22 as with much of life!!

It should be a beautiful time to experience romance and have memories for life from! A rich life learning experience!

Legally it could get awkward but some sort of contraceptive advise should always be given IMO!

There are so many, unlike me, who I know that had sex from 13 onwards and kept it quiet except when babies arrived!!

Human biology is pulling at their hormones in a climate where educational indoctrination is regulating it, I think they should be made aware of what is viable and out of bounds for future life! I even heard a few stories about the best looking teenagers taking regular contraception, several partners and getting high grades in school like they had everything going for them!!!

I mean it's a microcosm of the successful adult getting all the admirers they wish, all the fun they want and all the money and success life can bring!!

So I think it's far less about what to do or not to do - and far more about tuning into what feels right and good and educating them about doing the correct thing in a given situation with the support and communication going on to ensure things are within limits that enhace life and not ruin it!

I am no expert in this arena so cannot speak as if I am any problem solver for teenagers but I do feel too many are experiencing lack of intimate affection when their biology cries out for it and then experiencing depressions as a result!

Obvious problems may occur and it is for this reason that much legislation restricts and imposes upon the most personal of all human experiences! It is another have and have nots situation - those whose parents are skilled in this arena give good advice to young ones nd help them enjoy all aspect sof life whilst those who have less idea either totally opress them or let them go wild and out of control!

But it is my observation that some parents who have been supportive of their childrens healthy enjoyment of the opposite sex and help nurture wholesome relationships and emotional experiences seem to do a great job in forming adults who are very well adjusted and functional in a whole range of life situations!

I like this subject and would welcome what others KNOW to be 'informed' advice in helping produce optimistic help for youngsters in our society with all its current legal nightmare scenario outcomes they may get branded or punished for!

Is abstention a legitimate reality?

kurtbethel

I don't see the need for it. If you are confident that you can attract a date, why would you need the crutch of a "steady".

It just promotes complacency about dating.

R.Crusoe

If a pair of 12 year olds are 'in love' and on a romantic high I cant see how it is 'evil' for them to experience protected sex if they feel they wish to!

I accept it is young!

I accept it is pushing boundaries!

I accept it is frought with potential difficulties!

But it does not 'feel' like an unnatural occurence if I am honest with everyone!

And so - ought not protective options be in place in case such events do take place in order to prevent pregnancy?

The comments about females thinking 'love' or whatever places them in a vulnerable position is not exclusive - males also attach much emotion to events such as this!

I wonder what percentage of adults now living experienced 'romantic' sex before they were 15?

And I wonder if any of those may have advice they feel they can speak freely about?

I think the reality is a far cry from the ideals some hold and will never be a reality especially since we are now in the age of contraceptive control!

Open mind

Thanks for the responses so far. Sorry I haven't been able to interact much in the last couple days.

Being raised in an atmosphere where the opposite sex was almost as bad as Satan, it's hard to know what limits are sensible and what limits are cult-induced overreactions.

I'm leaning towards not supporting the idea of "dating" in young teens. I think the WT actually maybe had a half-way decent idea when it talks about young people doing things as a group. The only twisted up part is that the group is supposed to be 100% JWs.

Any other viewpoints out there?

OM

stillajwexelder

12-14 too young. 15+ totally normal. 16 almost perfect

IP_SEC

I agree with stilla

dinah

My 14 year old daughter has a boyfriend. We let him come over and visit, watch movies and stuff. We don't allow her to leave the house alone with him yet.

It's a normal part of growing up.

momzcrazy

I have soon to be 13 and 10 year old daughters. They can have all the crushes and heart twitters they want but they cannot have boyfriends. We don't have a certain age in mind when they can. We will judge by maturity and who the boy is later down the road. Then it will never be in an alone situation. I know first hand that doesn't always ensure proper conduct. We are trying to instill responsiblity and self respect in them. And that they must be much older for sex. I tell them the same I told my nieces at the same age: Sex is NOT WORTH IT at your age. Especially for girls. Sex in the back seat of a car and sneaking around is not worth the trouble.

momz

Lo-ru-hamah

We have a five year old son and so me saying anything is really just an idea. We will see what the future holds for ideals.

We are trying to teach him that he shouldn't have sex until he is old enough to accept the consequences of those actions. We feel that one of the best things about not having sex is that it makes kissing and holding hands so much more exciting. When you rush right into the act then from that point on it all leads to sex. Kissing isn't just kissing anymore it is a prelude to sex. There has to be a boundry somewhere. We were told that here in the area that we live one in four teenage girls have a STD. A 12 year old isn't ready for those sort of consequences that have life long effects. I think that a crush is great, going out with friends and parents and looking at each other with star crossed eyes is great but IMHO they aren't ready to act beyond that.

Just my two cents.

Loruhamah

What do you think about girls having boyfriends and vice versa?

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