one year today

Hortensia

A year ago today my husband was arrested after he tried to kill his own friend and a police officer, with a knife. They shot him, and he has been in jail, having various kinds of hearings, awaiting trial since then. He's an ex-husband now. Every day as I go about my life I think about his choices - if he had thought longer before he took that first dose of meth, he might still have his comfortable life, freedom to go fishing when he wants, nice work, friends, so on. It terrifies me - one lousy decision can ruin your entire life. One minute when you lose control or say "what the hell!"

shamus100

I can't imagine what you're going through now. Hope that you're okay.

Hortensia

Thanks! I'm fine. I'm free, I have my health, I have my job and my friends. He threw it all away. Wow! I'm past all the upset and drama and pain - now I'm just in shock that someone could do that to himself. I guess that's the lingering thing - not being able to wrap my mind around that. I guess, as my friends say, I should quit trying to understand it, because there's nothing to understand.

Casper

Hortensia,

My heart goes out to you....on some level I can understand what you mean by...."wrapping my mind around it".

My first husband committed suicide. He also threw it all "Away". A good job in the Air Force, a wife and small daughter. I also have no idea what he was thinking... except that in reality... he was thinking of "NO ONE" but himself. Period.

Yes, a person does get past the initial shock of it all, the pain lessens, the what ifs calm down... but the memories...they linger for a life time.

I am sorry you had to experience such an ordeal....

Sincerely,

Cas.

Hortensia

wow, cas, I had no idea. I am so sorry - I don't understand it either. How could a husband and father do that? You're right that there is an element of selfishness to it. I know my husband was only being selfish when he started taking drugs. But suicide - well, my heart goes out to you.

R.Crusoe

Good point!

Why do you suppose it is that the chromosome we are born with makes it more likey a human will end up in a trauma where they are past breaking point?

Casper

Thanks Hortensia....

All of us are "Survivors" of one thing or another in this world. Some have a little more than their fair share sometimes.

Having been widowed twice, and both of my daughters losing their fathers at young ages... I felt I had had my limit...and also contemplated doing away with myself. At that moment, I realized I was only thinking of "MYSELF".... that's how I came to the conclusion as to what my first husband was thinking... I would bet on it. My girls were more important to me, and I came to my senses.

Life goes on ....

You sound positive in your out look now.....I am happy for you that you are able to work past some of it. It takes time tho.... everyone has their own pace.... I'm in the middle somewhere...

(((hugs for both of us)))....

Cas

Barbie Doll

, I should quit trying to understand it, because there's nothing to understand.

I know what you mean. You got to let it go.((((((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))

My husband is a very Religious man. He did not want a Divorce, he wanted me dead, so he can have everything. He chocked me, there was some one in the house so he stop. My glamds where swollen for two months. We had a pool he put my head under water and held me there. My daughter came in he stop. I was puking up water, he told my Daughter that I slip. He was hitting me and push me out of the car while it was going . There was a steep hill there he new that. He was hopping I would fall down the hill. I ran to someone house for help. I could not sleep at night, I was afraid I would not awake up in the Morning.

Hope4Others

My heart goes out to each of you women you have all been thru traumatic experiences and somehow have been able to keep it

together. Sometimes bad experiences how awful that may sound, we some how muster the strength to carry on

and this makes us strong.

Take care girls,

love hope

Casper

You know it's true.... there's always someone else who has had it worse than ourselves.

Barbie Doll...........I don't know how you did it, but..... I am Glad you survived your ordeal.... I don't think I could have handled dealing with such on a daily basis. I hope he got what he deserved somewhere along the line.

Hortensia, I never had to deal with your situation either... sometimes you just have to let yourself think about it for a little bit, it's part of the healing process... better than bottling it up. I still do, usually on the anniversaries.... I cry some, then move on...

I admire both of you Ladies for getting past the hurt and moving on...

Cas

one year today

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