LOL ninja, you nutter.
Why is today the only day of the year when I feel guilty?
by And He Ran 34 Replies latest jw experiences
-
-
bronzefist
Could never understand the reasoning that from one side of the face you're told the M-day is ONLY for the annointed and everyone else is an OBSERVER. Show me that in the Bible. There is an ELDERS school ONLY for elders....PIONEER school ONLY for pioneers...why not an M-day ONLY for the annointed? How many observers attended Jesus' last passover?
I realilize there's a soft shoe dance why the NON-ANNOINTED are OBLIGATED (orders of the G-body) to be there..... heard that song for 20 years. Why feel guilty if as a loyal JW Jesus did not invite you?
brzfst
-
Purza
I can only share with you my experience. First year was hard, second was not as difficult, third I barely gave it a fleeting thought and now my fourth year of not attending, I could really care less. It takes time to undo the programming. However, it has been my experience that things get better with time. I hope next year is less difficult for you.
Purza
-
erandir
And He Ran,
I'm in almost the same situation as you are. I didn't go last year (my first time), and I'm not going this year. My wife is getting ready to go. Her meeting is at 9 pm since our hall has 2 congos. I am not feeling guilty. Rather, I'm feeling a bit of anticipation...no...more likely it is a feeling of dread...because so far none of the elders has come to my door asking me why I haven't attended meetings in over a year, why I didn't go to the assemblies, the conventions, last year's memorial. So far my fade has been trouble-free. This year might be different, however.
The CO is coming soon after the memorial for his weeklong visit. Also, the hall switched from a larger venue to the hall this year for the memorial, so my absense will be more noticeable, I think. Plus, my wife will draw more attention this year because she is expecting, and all these things combined will make my absense stick out more and encourage an elder's visit...possibly with the CO in tow.
I do not welcome such a visit and will not invite them in. But still, it will be akward.
Hopefully something in this will relate to you and be helpful. I don't know.
Why do you feel guilty? Because of the years of programming, perhaps? The witnesses don't celebrate anything during the whole year except for that one thing.
Have you noticed how some people you never see at the meetings or out in service show up once a year at the memorial? And that's even encouraged. It is similar to Christians who only show up to church on special occasions like Easter, Christmas, Mother's Day, weddings, funerals. If they don't go, they feel guilty.
I am not going this year partly because of those who would look down on me as being one of those "memorial christians." I remember when I was "strong" in the congregation, how a few of the "friends" around me would make comments like that. The son of an elder told me his mom and dad called them "memorial christians" and basically looked down on them. What a wonderful example of someone in charge of the flock!
Good luck to you...and don't let yourself feel guilty. There is absolutely no reason. They don't have power over you...don't let them.
-Erandir
-
MOG
Im getting some wine and some bread for my family...I call it Passover day - not Easter, I dont get into the Bunny thing...
-
LayingLow
I went to a Methodist church for their Maundy Thursday and Good Friday services. The Good Friday walk-in-communion was actually very interesting. I figured you would just walk in and partake but no. There was a handout and then people would sit by themselves and read it. It had scriptures to look up like Is 53 and Ps 22. Then there were some hymns to lookup and then meditate and pray about it. Whenever you felt comfortable you could come up and take communion. That was very interesting. Even though it felt weird not to attend the memorial this year for the first time, my conscience is clean knowing I'm keeping Christ in remembrance. Happy Pascha!
The reason I wrote this is because it helped me to deal with not attending. I knew I couldn't go and not partake. And I didn't want to 1. partake and embarrass my family, 2. make others think I'm coming back, 3. or add any credibility to their two-class Christian caste system the WTS has set up. I'm not judging any who did go, I can understand especially with family pressure. I just noted this in case those reasons help anyone else to justify their not going. -
Hortensia
chickpea, your post was very interesting and makes a lot of sense. Thanks for the information.
-
Hope4Others
We've been made to feel guilty as it meant life or death, I to found it hard for several years but now at this time of the year
I look up and say a small prayer and reflect on what Christ has done. It's probably more thought than the whole 45 minute memorial
which really does not talk about Jesus as much as everything else. Give thanks tonight to the fact you have now escaped and can go
on living a meaningful life with belief in god and not an organization.
Cheer up it will get easier!
hope4others
-
DoubleVision
And He Ran,
This is my first year I've missed the M-day.
Try to keep focus on what the WTS has done to thousands of peoples lives.
I feel the same as Layinglow.
I don't want to support this Org one moment longer.
Thanks for everyones thoughts here, it really helps.
DV
-
real one
If you still have any spirituality left , I hope you realize how important Jesus death is. You can go somewhere and appreciate his sacrafice I hope. Im going to church, non-denominational and then to a play on Sunday. I cant wait. It will be my first time celebrating Easter in over 17 years!
May You Find Peace