My advice is not to stand them up... if you don't want to be there reschedule and then reschedule and... you get the idea. Some of the advice here is really important, keeping your conversation brief and to the point. If they coax you into spilling the beans it will be bad news bears. I personally ignored the elders and stood them up on more than one occasion. What I ended up with was a voice mail on my answering machine a few weeks later saying that they were announcing my disfellowshipping that night at the service meeting. So take it from me, if you want to fade, don't give them any reason to get upset with you. Good luck and hang in there :) "Moxie"
Elders want to visit after memorial !!
by lancelink 29 Replies latest jw experiences
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flipper
LANCELINK- Just tell them you are depressed and stressed over certain things in your life you are not at liberty to talk about , personal things. That you need to deal with , personally, you alone . But thanks for their caring concern. You just don't feel up to meeting with them right now
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Satanus
'the example of a egg hatching was used. As the chick grows they have to break free of the egg, and move out into the world. If the chick stays in one place too long it will eventually die, so breaking free at the correct time is a natural part of its development.
This was reflected in a person’s spiritual growth, in time they have to break free from preconceived notions and move on, yet I don’t feel that I am totally ready to move on, or break free right at this moment.'
I believe this, too. Churches, even the wt org, can be learned from. The problem is, very few of them want you to graduate and leave their little enclosures. Move on from theological enterpretations (imaginary) to spiritual (action). Many people think that the spiritual is imaginary, as well. But, we each need to follow our paths. Much info is available to get you started into the spiritual. I would recommend meditation, the eastern kind, along w whatever else you do.
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real one
I dont understand you people
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mkr32208
Don't be home. Go out for the evening turn off the cell delete any messages left. Most elders aren't really interested in pestering you just in making the appearence of doing the right thing... Blow them off a few times and the won't come back. They are too busy!
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mkr32208
I dont understand you people
Its cause your not getting enough air... Try spreading your cheeks a little wider...
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MissingLink
Its cause your not getting enough air... Try spreading your cheeks a little wider...
HA! Brilliant!
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lancelink
Everone, thank you for your comments.
I have really been considering everyone of them !
I'll post again after the visit ! -
LongHairGal
I had a similar experience when I went. I am a fader and hardly ever go but I don't miss the memorial because that usually raises a red flag. There is a rule that if somebody misses the memorial then they are really 'out'. Of course, this means nothing if you want to make a dramatic statement of "get lost". But, if you are trying to lay low then you go and smile and tolerate the waste fest and roll your eyeballs as you take the plate of matzos and the glass of wine and pass it.
So, I went. Besides, it was nice to see many of the people there dressed in their "Sunday best". Many people came up to me and said hello. I ended up bumping into one of the elders. He wanted to talk to me afterwards. See, this is the dilemma a fader always faces if they show their face. Somebody always wants to come and talk or 'encourage' you.
It is a nuisance but you have to be tricky and evasive. Always smile, never lose your temper and say you gotta go.
LHG
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lancelink
well, one of the elders had the flu, so this visit never happened.
They claim that they would like to "reactivate " me, (yes those words were used)
Well, I'm not a credit card,that statement really ticked me off somewhat.
Hopefully this the end of their visits.