Just wondered how others first learned about religion. I know "Born Ins" were taught from the start… but the rest of us had to start somewhere…
My very first memory of anything supposedly religious was at the age of six... My Grandmother took me to a "Tent Revival". We lived in a very back woods area, so this was a norm for them. What I saw terrified me. People were calm at first and there was a speaker.
Things went down hill fast for me as people began jumping around, hands waving in the air, shouting and some even rolling on the ground. I was scared and confused. Nothing was ever explained to me. Try processing that in a six year old's mind.
Next, the same year, my Aunt decided I needed to go to Sunday School...This didn't bother me... as no one mentioned a "Tent" or Church. It was in a basement. I colored pictures of Jesus (I had no idea what he represented) and made paper chains. She did say at breakfast one morning ... "Lord children, the world is gonna go up in a ball of flames and you're all gonna die, if you don't behave and do what Jesus says."
Well...gee...!! If that didn't make me feel like..."What ???"
So, I continued to color pictures and make paper chains so, I guessed I was covered from such a fate...????????? I became the model child. Driving myself nuts trying to be perfect and not mess up.
We then moved to the country, away from extended family next door. During this time, at the age of 7 my family began it's trek into alcohol and violence... the "War Zone" years.
I was always afraid. Religion was never mentioned in our house and I soon forgot about coloring pictures of Jesus and had long since given up on paper chains.
Instead I would find myself, hidden away in an obscure corner of the kitchen when things got rough. At one point I just started talking, begging actually...saying things like, "Please, Please, make it stop". I would be silently crying and begging for all I was worth.
Who I was talking to, I did not have a clue. I did notice... (in my childish mind) that things would seem to calm down afterwards. Probably due to other circumstances, but try explaining that to a child who was sure "Her" magic had worked. Over time, I became obsessed with it.
I would beg (didn't know the term pray, in reference to what I was doing) and beg, always in private. It always seemed to help, or maybe it calmed ME in some way and my perception of what was going on.
This continued for years. Eventually it all stopped, due to surgeries and illness and my parents became the model parents from then on. Religion still was never mention in any way shape or form.
I did not hear of, or find out who, Jesus was really suppose to be until I was 17 years old. I bought my first Bible called "The Way". Read it, and still felt skeptical about some things. I went to a nearby Baptist Church and became a member. I was searching, because at this time I had realized none of us are immortal. I began to question what happens at death and such.
Stayed with that Church for a year and can honestly say... I learned NOTHING. Sing, pray, sermon, sing, pray...done. (sorry, just my personal experience).
Went on about my life, then at the age of 26 or so… The witness came on the scene .... and "Finally" gave a name to whom I had been talking to all along. At least, that is what they told me. Jehovah had heard me, read my heart and sent them to me............hummmmm....
Needless to say.......after 13 years of baptized service in that... and ten years out.......I am still as confused as I ever was. Still Searching...and No, I don't pray or beg anymore.
Sorry so long, just felt a need to reminisce thru all that. Any one else remember their first experiences…???
Cas