OTWO,
Actually a 50 year old black woman probably won't look a day over 35. I'm just sayin'......
JW weddings gone bad. A story from my old congo.
by uwishufish 34 Replies latest jw friends
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new boy
My Sister married this real winner, his name was George Pinzari...Anyway my father (inactive at the time) knew this guy was going to be real trouble, so he offered him $10,000 bucks to not marry my sister...and to get out of her life!
George said "no way" and told my sister..Both of them gave my father a bunch of shit because of the offer.
I must say I thought it a little strange too. I was a self rightious Bethellite at the time, on vacation.Now I see the pure wisdom in it.
So they got married out in our back yard. It had to be over 90 degrees that day we had wool tuxs on.
Oh, by the way George hadn't sleep in 2 days, he was trying to catch up on all his janitoral work, before the honeymoon...he looked real bad and was very nervous.
So I got a bottle of Jack Daniels and gave him a few shots.
So back to the wedding....hotter then hell...This guy starts giving the wedding talk from hell. Starting with Adam and Eve...we lost our first brides maid 25 minutes into the talk...passed out, fell flat on her face.
15 minutes later with no end in sight, the speaker looks at George (who looks green) and says "Are you alright?" To which George says "No"..
My father stands up and says "Your not backing out of this!".....Everyone laughs. They get George a chair to set down on. A wet towel over his head, my sister standing next to him. What a sight.
After the hour talk it's over. George walks pass me in the wedding procession and says "I'll never forgive you for that."....funniest damn wedding I was ever at.
P.S Six years later when their marriage was toast...and my sister left George, George went to my father and asked him, if the offer for the 10k was still good...My dad chased him out of the house. What a winner!
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Meeting Junkie No More
New boy: That has got to be the funniest wedding story I have ever heard! I'm dying of laughter here at the computer, tears running down my cheeks! Absolutely hilarious!
My story can't top that at all - but the 'cubic zirconia' from the other thread brought this to mind. Sister gets engaged after all of 3 or so dates to someone who apparently 'adores' her...he already has children from a previous marriage but 'good in the truth' - this is the answer to all her prayers!) ...engagement ring looks a little fake to me, but I ooh and ahh and fawn all over it as you're supposed to do...turns out the guy didn't have enough money for even the engagement ring, so she bought her own (cubic zirconia of course!) UNFREAKINGBELIEVABLE....would that not be your first tipoff that this is not a marriage that is going to last????
Anyhow, within a matter of months, the marriage was toast...
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Amber Rose
Here's the story of a poor young man who's congregation I used to go to. At 16-17 he and a girl in the cong. like eachother. They say will get married as soon as he graduates high school. This is a huge deal for the congregation. They are too young to be dating, marriage is serious, not for children, blah, blah, blah, blow the whole thing out of proportion. The girl can't take the pressure, breaks up with the boy and marries the very next guy that she sees. (Another happy marriage).
The boy has a series of short term relationships. (possibly due to the fact that he shows no signs of moving out of his parents basement or getting a real job) Then against the odds a girl agrees to be engaged to him. She has very expensive tastes and eventually realizes that he cannot provide her with the things that she desires. Calls off the wedding.
Then he reconnects with a long lost love from his wee childhood. She moves the whole way across the country to be with him. He get's DF'd, marries the girl and tries getting reinstated. Then he starts showing up at the meetings without his new wife. She moved back across the country to be with her first husband that she NEVER DIVORCED! Elders feel bad for the boy and quickly reinstate.
After all this he gets engaged again and actually gets married for real! Last I heard, they recently bought a house - but still live in his parent's basement because they can't afford to make it liveable. He still doesn't have a real job.
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AudeSapere
New Boy wrote: My Sister married this real winner, his name was George Pinzari...
OMG!! I think I know this guy. He lived around corner from me in Ventura County California back in the 80's. I can still see his face for but the life of me could not remember his name.
Definite player. One of my roommates friends used to get all crazy goofy whenever she saw him. 'Sexy Italian Stallion' she used to call him.
I thought he was a bit swarmy. But what did I know? I was a goody goody pioneer who really only dated the occaisional worldly guys. But that's another story.
Too funny to see that name pop up all of a sudden. $10k for him to not marry her? LOL~~!! Very funny.
-Aude.
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White Dove
Every JW wedding that I've ever attended ended up in divorce.
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mama1119
Some of these stories are just priceless! Crazy craziness!
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uwishufish
Thanks for all your replys!!!
uwishufish
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Tuesday
My expirience isn't really about the marriage going to hell, but it's about the actual wedding itself. First off it was a man of near 80 with cerebral paulsy marrying a woman of about 40. She was a single parent in the congregation. I have a feeling it was a marriage of convinience, this man who lived next to his mother in an assisted living facility probably realized his mother wouldn't be there to continually take care of him, she was a single mother who of course would get ignored in the congregation. Which obviously would change in this case. Of course they stayed together till his death as far as I know, so who knows it could've been love.
The actual wedding I suppose went off without a hitch, however the reception was crazy. The first tragedy was they played "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" by Wham, and this was around 94 before it was ironically funny to listen to crap like that. It was pouring buckets outside, I was thinking of numbering all the animals in the world then I realized it was impossible, then I realized I was too young to get drunk and tell everyone I gathered all the animals in the world together even though I didn't. Then the fire alarm went off, forcing everyone to evacuate outside in the pouring rain. Everyone was in their suits and dresses just getting buckets dropped on them. This was in my phase of super-witness so I was trying to set an example by helping the older women out of the building. Which actually when I think of it I would do now, I just wouldn't be doing it to get points with the big J. So finally after a good 10 minutes outside in the rain (which made my hair look fantastically stringing and hanging in my face) everyone came inside. Literally as everyone got settled, sat down, they played about 2 minutes into the next song, the fire alarm went off again.
Basically that's when everyone left. After that, anyone who came back after the second alarm they helped clean up. All's well that ends well, I ended up with a girl I sat with becoming obsessed with me till I left, The groom ended up with a care-taker the rest of his days, the bride ended up with status at the hall, and most importantly it was a good hall to run wrestling shows in. Our shows there went off without a hitch, which just goes to show that while Jehovah claims to be the God of Love and watches over it, he's really the God of violence because seriously violence is just much more entertaining (especially when said wrestling event has a butt-sex spot in it).
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Inquisitor
What does "swarmy" mean, Aude?
INQ