How do you leave? (page 2)

free2think

For me personally leaving was a necessary process. It was something i just had to do, there really wasn't any other choice after i realised it wasn't the truth. While i was in the org it was robbing me of my life, i was a zombie going through the routine and not living. So when the light went on in my head that was it, i couldn't go back. Yes it hasn't been easy but it had to be done for my own sanity.

mind my own

I just faded away. I didn't have any "worldly" friends at all so it was tough! I made a few friends at work and then it just went from there. It was pretty lonely for a while there, the only friendships I had ever cultivated were with other JW's.

MMO

Eliveleth

Dear Helen,

The people in the "world" are just people. There are some wicked, some very good, some mean, some kind. When

I got out, I prayed that God would show me the people that he wanted me to associate with. Some of the best friends

I have now, I met just after I got out. Good, God-fearing women that I believe would give their lives for me. I had no such friends

in the Watchtower. I thought I did, but when I left, I found out they weren't really friends at all. Conditional love is not

love. Find people who have the same interests you do. There is a place called MeetUp.com where you can find people

with similar interests who meet near you. Not everyone you meet will become your friend, but you will be able to see which

ones are the kind you would want for friends.

If you just give it to God, He will guide you.

Love and hugs,

Velta

bigmouth

"I feel like Buzz Light Year, when he takes off his helmet and starts to panic thinking he wont be able to breathe, because he believes that space suit really does something."

Helen, what a great analogy.

berylblue

when every single person you know is a witness, how do you leave? has anybody here left, and had nobody on the outside. Because that's where I would be.

Helen, I feel your pain even though I've never been in your situation. I was ~~fortunate~~ lucky; I was the only Witness in my family. Not that I was really close to them, but they didn't shun me. I didn't lose much when I was DFed since I wasn't really close to anyone but one person.

oompa

helen: when every single person you know is a witness, how do you leave? has anybody here left, and had nobody on the outside. Because that's where I would be.

It is not easy, the more I knew it was false, the less active I was as a JW, and I was not planning a fade. Then when I knew 100% it was BS and WTBS was fraudulent in the extreme and directly lied to me, I could just not do in anymore after 40 plus, 4th generation in years, I stopped 9 months ago completely. And had nobody on the outside, except one young df'd son. It is not easy that way, and I kinda like being alone but know it is not too healthy. It would have been easier if I was single or not married to a JW wife and have a MS pioneer son at home. I was a bit of a party animal, and all around fun lover......it makes me sad to think I may never have friends to go on vacation with, cruises, play volleyball on the beach etc.............maybe I will get the pieces to fit someday, but just can't be a JW hypocrite anymore..........oompa

R.Crusoe

Dont stand too close to th window or you'll get pushed!

And take a leaf out of Mr potato heads book and tell them go kiss your ass if they pile on the pressure - but silently so as the point is made, but who can get you on kissing your own ass?

And if anyone presses you simply say,

'I'm kissing my own ass - do you mind????'

Quirky1

helenhall,

Welcome!

There is plenty of good advice on this board and you will find even more support. You will need to gather in your own heart that this is not the right relegion. I suggest reading "Crisis ofd Conscience" by Raymond Franz. This will open many doors and windows for you. Contemplate your next move or stand but do it subtetly. Do not be rash about anything.

"Do" make freinds outside the "Borg"! Try going to the gym, library, bowling alley, the local pub. Whatever makes "You" happy. But, mainly try to relax. You are "NOT" alone.

Keep coming back to this site and expressing yourself.

Sincerely,

Quirky1

misspeaches

I feel like Buzz Light Year, when he takes off his helmet and starts to panic thinking he wont be able to breathe, because he believes that space suit really does something. Well thats the panic I feel in the world and the organisation acts like my space suit, if you get the metaphor!

First of all that is a fantastic metaphor, one that I may plaguerise at a later date...hehehe

Helen, my first response was that of many others who have also replied to you. Make some friends outside the organisation first. It doesn't have to be a lot, but find some.

My second response is this... Find out WHO you are... WHAT makes you tick... WHAT are you interested in... One thing I found is that as a JW we do have our individual personalites however tend to be somewhat clonish in what we are allowed to reveal about who we are. No one is allowed to stand out as different, showing off your talents is seen as being immodest, etc, etc.

I recommend challenging yourself. Is there anything you have always wanted to do but never felt right about doing? Or felt to scared to try? Just do it! Jump in and give it a ago. You will start finding out so much about your who you are.

Once you feel comfortable with what you have discovered you will find it so much easier to make new friends. Perhaps with common interests.

I admit that it is more than likely that you will feel like somewhat of a social misfit but over time and with good friends these feelings will fade.

I truly hope that this helps... Wishing you every success.

Carmel

I was one of two youth in the congregation and the other one was the Cong. Serv.'s son, whom I despised. So I already had many friends outsite. Start now cultivating friendships and find ways of serving others. Join Kiwanis or Rotary! Be of value to others and they will value you! Not only good for your social life but necessary for your psyche! carmel

How do you leave?

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