How do you leave?

by helenhall 32 Replies latest jw experiences

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  helenhall

  Thanks for your responses. Being here, well this is like a first step, but still feels like a huge step. I feel dreadfully guilty at the moment. I am hoping that will pass. Ive spent my entire life feeling guilty so its not a new feeling.

  I have a close friend in another congregation. I mentioned her in another post. She has suffered abuse from her husband for 20 years and after seeing the elders because she could no longer cope with her marriage, she was removed as pioneer, for having no respect for her husband. I saw her yesterday and she is on the edge too. I'm still being careful what I say. Maybe she is too. Great isnt it - when you cant even tell your closest friends the truth. She asked if I fancied doing a Thelma and Louise (some film she saw where two decent women decide its pay back time). Think Im going to have to try and see this film!
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  LeMont

  Hi Helen

  I tried to fade, but I had too many friends and family "looking out" for me. I could see it wasn't the truth, but I wanted some space to feel comfortable with my thoughts. But I couldn't get that space, so I wrote a letter to DA myself. I had started a very small network of friends, most from work, that really helped me.

  Good luck,

  LeMont
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  exjdub

  I feel dreadfully guilty at the moment. I am hoping that will pass. Ive spent my entire life feeling guilty so its not a new feeling.

  Helen,

  Guilt is part of the process and many here went through it when they came to this forum, myself included. Guilt has been hammered into all of us from the WT Society, especially if you were "raised in the truth." The guilt will pass if you allow yourself to scrutinize what you have been taught from the platform and compare it with information that you glean from your journey. For me the guilt passed when I confirmed many of the things that I learned that were critical of the organization. When I stopped to really reflect on the things I learned about the WBTS and the things they were hiding from us, I just couldn't support it any more and I left guilt free. The WBTS's actions and affiliations just did not square with what the Bible says, or with what we were being taught. Anger from observing outright hypocrisy is a great way to lose the guilt. Explore with an open mind and you too will be guilt free.

  exjdub
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  real one

  if you still believe in God find yourself a church and leave. you need time to yourself at first anyway so having no friends in the beginning may be a good thing. it took me a couple of days to find a church to attend and everytime i attend services now i am so grateful and happy that God led me out of the wilderness. i cry at every sunday service mostly at the beginning of church, the worship part singing the songs.I tell myself not to cry but listening to the words of the songs and how they magnify God is so emotional. The witnesses lied to me when they told me there was no where else to go. I cant wait to run into one of them and tell them they are so wrong. Just watching TBN is a blessing. So like i said if you are still a believer you pray to God to help you find your way. He will do just that!
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  WTWizard

  I started going to two different congregations. I never transferred officially, but I alternated going to the boasting sessions between the two. Then I started missing boasting sessions on purpose for flimsy excuses. Eventually, I cut way back on field circus, and then started doing dummy service. One day, I decided that I would never set foot (at least voluntarily) in a Kingdumb Hell for a boasting session or for field circus.

  I hope that method wasted a good number of hounder hours.
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  BluesBrother

  Hi Helen

  Just like they say , you have to fade away slowly so that you do not get into trouble with the congregation. And if they ever miss you, it will not be a surprise that you are gone. I was The Watchtower Overseer, and other jobs beside, and I had to play it gently. But I made it out and they now accept that I am an unbelieving husband and treat me cordially

  Do build up some contacts outside..perhaps evening classes is an easy way of meeting people without forcing a social contact (just a thought)

  Good luck
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  mouthy

  I feel dreadfully guilty at the moment.Guilt I believe is a very distructive force. Dont harbour it....I notice some one already mentioned you should read "Crises Of Conscience" Do try to get it at your library & if they dont have it ask that they get it, all the libraries that was asked ,got it.! I know" lady lee" has put a site that you can read on line. But it is good to have your own copy to read & inwardly digest.
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  choosing life

  helenhall,

  Thelma and Louise is a really great payback movie. Brad Pitt played a role as a young drifter. Some of the best footage of him in his young, gorgeous years.

  If your friend mentioned this movie, she might be your best bet for a friend to fade away with.
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  crapola

  Hi Helen, and welcome. As for how to leave, well I decided not long ago that I could'nt stand it anymore so started fading away by missing meetings and not going in service. That way it's not as noticeable and the elders won't bother you.At least they have'nt bothered me.I still don't have many friends and my mother still can't figure out what is wrong with me but it is so much better than going all the time, knowing that you really don't want to be there.So take it slow and be sure of what you want because there will be alot of changes in your life.
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  freydi

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cO-b65W-zQs&feature=user
  
  interview that shows the hold of the borg - even after you leave