by dinah 11 Replies latest jw friends
First off, I don't mean "newbie" in a mean way.
Do you guys think it might be helpful if we have a "getting to know" you thread started? Let new ones, and long-tme lurkers feel welcome and share stories.
I've been fascinated by what I've read in the last couple of weeks, and frankly, usually too emotional to reply. It seems the same old story replays.
Interesting suggestion!
I wonder if those whove been around for years have seen it all before?
I've been on for a year and have come a long way down a path to nowhere ( least that's my minds eye not seeing a point in time anywhere soon that looks real) so I still can't get the perspective others have and I imagine many will follow feeling totally lost and not knowing how many have gone before them!
The broken souls must become overbearing at times - I imagine??
We have had an influx of newbies - and I'm glad for it ! Tell us all your escaping the witness cult stories our fellow newbies ! I for one would like to hear ! Good thread Dinah , Peace out, Mr. Flipper
I've been on for quite a while. Don't really feel like re-telling the whole story.
It would just be good to remember the way we felt when we made that first post. Sometimes I'm just too tired of dealing with it to welcome new people. It can be emotionally exhausting to catch newly freed dubs. But thank God (or even the flying Fettucine monster) people were there for me.
We should probably try and make a softer landing.
I think a getting to know you thread is a fantastic idea. I'm one of those newbies. Reading the stories/experiences of others was very encouraging to me when I was first building the courage to leave, and one of the things that compelled me to write down my own experience. Great idea.
Then y'all use this one.
And welcome Galileo.
Dinah,
Thanks for picking up on this. I started a thread several days ago that invited those had joined JWD in the last year to comment.
Anyway the thread died, but I am still curious so let's pump your thread up. Nothing like a woman's touch, I guess.
Great idea about a "getting to know you" section. Maybe Simon would consider creating a new section of the board just for that.
Cheers,
Alex
Welcome to all the noobs! Stick around for a while.
JK
And let's NOT throw babies out with bathwater. I've had a couple piss me off, but it's just because their stories were soooooo ridiculous and baiting.
I'm just saying.......come on in......the water is fine.
Hey Mr. Flipper----you up for handling this one?? I have the attention span of a fly.
I'll start then, shall I?
I joined the site a few weeks ago, but I've read it for the last 2 or 3 years ... just little bits at a time - would easily go 6 months without visiting.
I was an MS 3 years ago. I'm in Auckland, New Zealand, BTW. Brought up in the cult ... and always felt a little wrong. I'm a thinking person, and the constant pressure to NOT think wore me down. I like to work out how things work, and always thought I was missing something in understanding the religion .. like I didn't have enough knowledge. Of course, now that I'm 30 years old, I've come to realise that usually when I cant understand something (something that I *really* want to understand) ... it usually means the thing itself doesn't make sense.
There was no one single thing that triggered my 'awakening'. It was a series of very small holes in the dyke. Step one was probably my disbelief in the 'understanding' of Daniel. I actually forget the whole issue now, but at the time ... about 6 years ago ... it was a big thing for me. After reading Daniel and thinking hard about it, comparing it with other doctrines etc, there was one scripture about 1260 days or 1230 days or something like that the society had applied to themselves in the 1920 era ... the days didn't even fit, and the endpoint of this tumultuous prophecy ended with a watchtower mag being published ??? wtf ... they are published every 2 weeks!
But that wasn't even a nail in the coffin. I was still 100% behind the borg. well, maybe 99%. I remember about 10 years ago I said to my parents in law (my new wife and I went away with her parents on holiday) that if I ever felt the organisation wasn't god's one, I would leave and follow god. They were shocked. And so was I. Shocked at their being shocked. Because I got that little inkling that they were loyal to the Watchtower, not to god. I remember saying that god had changed his eartly organisation before ... like when he changed from the jews to jesus. He didn't announce the change through the existing organisation, and so we couldn't expect the WAtchtower to tell us if god had stopped using them either ... we would have to figure it out on our own just like Jesus' followers would have had to - and we would have to have the courage to stand up against the establishment. And I remember my father in law saying something like "be careful, that kind of thinking leads to apostasy". Whadda ya know ... he was right! So that was probably the start for me. Although ..... I could go on about all the tiny little doubts that surfaced in my teen years, which I quickly quenched out of absolute terror of being sucked in by Satan through apostasy.
Oh wait, I'm forgetting the whole thing with my father (an elder at the time) leaving my mother for a younger woman and the whole terrible, terrible way the elders handled that. I was 18 at the time. Oooh ... it was even more complicated than that. heck, its such a long sordid story, I will have to tell it in more detail in another post. Suffice to say, I got my priviledges removed because I went to my DF'ed father's wedding to his new wife when at the same time, a brother in our cong who was my age (he was 19) had just confessed to molesting my little brother (years before when he was like 12 and my brother was about 6). Fuck, I'm getting all teary now. Anyway, he was still allowed to read the watchtower for some reason. Anyway, I've since forgiven him - we were friends up to that time - and I've since found out how he was mistreated in his childhood. We are now good friends again. I will never forget the night he tried to drown himself because he felt so shitty about what he had done to my brother (which in hindsight wasn't as bad as it sounds) hell you forget how fucked up everything was
where was I?
there was the district convention 3 years ago where they announced the brother's credentials in addition to his name before he came up to give the talk. that didnt go down well with me. then there was the pathetic demonstration at the same convention where a brother is at his computer on the net, searching for how his brothers are doing in a country thats had a disaster. he googled "Jehovah's Witness disaster" and the result was "Jehovah's Witnesses: Avoid the Disaster". For some reason, that made me actually WANT to go to that website. Of course, he immediately shut his web browser. That little scene made me feel wrong. I just couldn't help feeling that the society really had something to hide. Its one thing to recommend you to be careful of apostasy and that the best thing is just to stay away from it. Its another thing to use scare tactics and those OTT demos.
So there were all these little things, and there were a whole lot more, but I can't remember them all now. Anyway, I was "spiritually weak". One day I looked up JWs on wikipedia, which 2 years ago was my new most loved thing in the world. I love learning, I love information. I wish I could have been a scientist, but I didn't get to go to university for obvious reasons. Anyway, the wikipedia article mentioned Ray Franz, and that fuckin' floored me. I never knew one of the GB had become apostate. In my mind, there was NO WAY that could ever be right. I know all about Judas Iscariot, but this is different. I was literaly shaking when I read that. My pulse was racing, I was in a cold sweat. It was the scariest thing I ever went through so far. Well, maybe the night my wife was rushed to hospital was worse.
Anyway, there was always this nagging doubt I had ... ever since I got married ... about oral sex. I knew there was a watchtower that condemed it, but it was just so nice ... and my wife and I engaged in it regularly (even though I was an MS). I know, sorry, too much information! Anyway, so I thought I'd look that up finally. Finally had the courage to read whatever they had to say and be defiant against it. hehe. well, that WAS the final nail in the coffin. The final nail coming OUT and releasing me from the coffin I was buried alive in!!!!
Because it was the first time I became aware of what we apostates call flip flops. And its one of the best still, because it is so clear cut, a complete U-turn and still quite recent (1980's). At the time, I remember reading the second of 3 articles that were written about it from about 1975 to 1982. I really agreed with the second one - it said that the bible says nothing on the subject, that the prvious understanding was wrong, and that it is up to the couple's consciences, and the elders had no jurisdiction over it at all. I LOVED that article. I cried when I read Crisis of Conscience about a year later and found out that Ray wrote that article. Ray is a real hero. He stood up for righteousness. Even though he says he finds oral sex repugnant, he didn't see how the GB could force their own views on the brothers. Even though I'm now more an atheist than a theist, I still respect Ray for his courage, as I'm sure we all do here.
So about 2 years ago I stepped 'down' as an MS. it felt like a step up. 6 months after that I stopped going to meetings or putting in a report. My wife and I nearly split up. At one stage, it was only our 2 wonderful kids keeping us together. Happy ending though ... we are now closer than ever. My wife still goes to meetings and reports, but she has changed. She knows things aint right, and she's just trying to be loyal to god. I respect her loyalty, it makes me feel more secure in our marriage too. She takes in little bits and pieces of what I read now - she read over my shoulder little bits from my Richard Dawkins books, Newscientist mag etc. Evolution is a fact, people. It needn't cause you to become an atheist, but the funamentalist, literalist approach to Genesis is just plain wrong. Evolutionary theory may still change a heck of a lot as time goes on, but the main stem of the idea fits the evidence much, much better than Genesis.
And I no longer feel stupid. Things DO make sense again. I'm not trying to make things fit that don't. Try and write a proof that 1+1=3 and its bloody hard work. Writing a proof that 1+1=2 is a lot easier. And the things we don't know? Well, we don't know. simple. its like taking a puff from my puffer during an asthma attack - the feeling of being able to breathe freely again. aaahhh ... ventolin for the mind - thats what apostasy is to a JW.
I'm a fader, not DF'ed. Flying under radar, as it were, for the sake of my family. My wife is close to her family, we spend a lot of time at each other's houses having barbqeues and good times. Dont wanna spoil that.
Thats my story, sorry its so long, I even left out a lot of stuff. Thanks for reading it if you got this far!
