by chappy 46 Replies latest jw friends
Once I became fully de-indoctrinated, that voice never returned.
It would be like thinking that maybe, just maybe, the flat earth
society is right.
In fact, when disturbing events happen, it actually enhances my
opinion of the JW's stupidity. Their reactions are so predictable.
I left in 1994 and would have those thoughts that they were the "True" religion. Tried to celebrate Xmas and other holidays and always felt guilty, that Jah would punish me. And get this, I thought that maybe a witness would see me practicing holidays and then what would I do? Somehow I believed that god would forgive but I knew that the witnesses never would. Why I didn't catch on to this being upside down thinking I don't know.
After trying for reinstatement this summer, going to all the meetings and watching the people and what they were regurgitating, the change in the blood doctrine (this was the final straw for me) the UN, watching my youngest son turning into a glassy-eyed JW freak, I said ENOUGH! NO MORE!
For a few weeks, I felt the pangs of what if they are right and I am wrong? I boxed up my considerable JW libary and put them in the garage. I felt uneasy just removing the literature but I did it anyway. I wrote down the reasons why the WTS is WRONG! I referred to my list in times of doubt and did more research and I know that it was all an illusion as to it being the truth.
Do I get those pangs of maybe it was the truth? Less all the time. I am deprogramming. I carved pumpkins for Halloween and stuffed Xmas light inside them and proudly put them on my front porch. There will be a Xmas tree this year and I am FREE to be me. How cool is that?
Write the list of the lies and the failed prophecies and refer to when necessary.
JJ
the only voices in my head tell me
kil kill kill
I used to, but not anymore. They constantly make changes and the fact that they have been wrong so many times makes them like any other religion.
Jesus says to not fear those who make a false prophecy -- let alone many. They named a date of 1914 then 1975 and they were wrong twice. I have no doubt in my mind that the JW religion is all hogwash.
I have a tendency to aggressively and carefully analyize my beliefs. Once I knew that the Witnesses were wrong, I bet my life on it. Never had any doubts what-so-ever since.
Skipper
All great deeds and all great thoughts have ridiculous beginnings--Albert Camus
I'm not afraid of "what if they're right"... I'm more afraid of "what if they're wrong". Years wasted... : (
Nope. I realized, actually while I was reading through one of AlanF's excellent writeups, that the WTS was simply totally out to lunch. Never looked back, and the thought of these dorks being right is so absurd I have never seriously entertained the thought since.
- Jan
--
"Doctor how can you diagnose someone with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and then act like I had some choice about barging in here right now?" -- As Good As It Gets
Accurate information dispels the little niggling voices of doubt. Once you know the facts, there is no question that the WT way is a one-way dead-end street to Nowheresvillle.
My Honest answer is YES! I feel like that most of the time. Even though I can turn to the Bible and show that they are wrong in many instances. Still there is alway's that nagging doubt. That may be good or it may be bad. It's the confusion of it all that I don't like. Never actually knowing for certain so many things.
I've been out about 1 1/2 yrs and about once every 3 months the thought pops into my head for about 10 seconds. What if they were right? It takes about 10 secs to reason the doubts away. (A lot less time than it took to reason away the doubts I had in the Society)
I don't think this is a result of deep seated brainwashing though because I have similar questions pop into my head concerning Government conspiracies, aliens and psychics. I actually takes a little more than 10 secs to dismiss those thoughts. Probably because its entertaining to dwell on.
Tim B
