Long last letter to dad...please comment-not mailed yet

by dawg 64 Replies latest jw friends

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  Meeting Junkie No More

  OK, Dawg;

  For what it's worth, here's my opinion. I don't know all the ins and outs of your situation, so this may be miles off the mark. Letters are so impersonal IMHO - any chance you can just show up with a couple of McDonald's coupons and offer to take your Dad out for a burger and give him a hug? And then just tell him you decided to do it for the simple reason that you are still here on this earth, he is still here on this earth, and there's no time like the present to reach out and touch your most dearly beloved? If he says he can't go, so be it but you made the effort. 100% BETTER than any card or letter...again just my 2c.
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  loosie

  I was told 18 years ago, when I first realized that much of what the JWs teach was false, that I had to conform to be treated normally like your son. Show me where I’ve ever told you that you have to believe in God the same as I do to be treated like my father?

  I especially like this point.
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  Layla33

  Beautiful letter. One suggestion, break the paragraphs up a little more, underline and bold key points. I think it will help.

  I wish you the very best. I know it's hard.
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  Jringe01

  I agree with Scotsman...send a postcard with just a simple I love you and hope all is well.

  In the very beginning you say in part: "...any hope that you can come to your senses as far as this religion goes and we can renew our relationship..."

  Right there where I bolded and underlined...you just lost him. Say that to any JW and it'll put them on the defensive and you know how they get when they feel they or their precious faith are under attack.

  You have valid points but if you want to reach him you can't use them, not like this.
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  Quirky1

  I agree with some of the things OTWO mentioned. Of course I do not know the whole history here but I would not want to receive a letter like this from son no matter what my or his stand may be.

  I would not send it. It is pretty shattering.

  Just my thoughts.

  Quirky1
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  dawg

  I thank you all for your suggestions, I've read all and really appreciate what you're all saying.
  
  To onthewayout and Scottsman... I've tried many things and nothing works, this is the harshest letter I've sent to him yet. My letters to the family were much worse. Many of my letters have been answered, all of them without one question raised being answered. He won't speak to me period. Showing up with anything isn't going to stop the shunning. Come on guys look at what you're saying, don't you guys have family in the lie?
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  dawg

  Oh! You mean I have to lie? Thanks for the opinion, but I think I'll pass.
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  chickpea

  what a tragedy that a "normal" parent/child relationship is made so difficult by those coniving wankers in their ivory tower.....

  even if there is little hope for a reconcilliation, believe this.... your efforts prove you to be a good son and as was said, the better man.... cold comfort, but the facts speak volumes
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  Quirky1

  Dawg,

  I don't understand because I've never been shunned even though it will happen one day if I'm Df'd and my in-laws are still Jdubs. I cannot really understand the whole concept of shunning period especially your own flesh and blood. To me it is a lot of BS and nothing more.

  You can work on the more subtle things like some mentioned previously such as send a post card or a phone call, hope he answers and blurt a few words out. I don't have the answers you are looking for but don't give up. After all he is your father and that's all you are asking him to be.

  I know it is indeed frustrating. I went without speaking to my father for 25 years, not for religious reasons. And another family member helped us to reconnect and we currently have a channell of communication even if it isn't as father and son as I would like it to be it is still comminication.

  Dawg, I hope you the best in whatever decision you make!

  Quirky1
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  Outaservice

  If the letter does get returned, just save it. I predict in time he will want to read it, and then it will be available.

  Outaservice